DOI Heft:
August 26, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0094
86 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 26, 1882.
HOSPITALITY.
“By the bye, Mr. Jones, they’ve elected ye at the Dina-
THERIUM, I 'm HAPPY TO OBSAIRVE. WlLL YE DO ME THE PLEASURE
OF DINING WITH ME THERE NEXT THURSDAY ?—THAT IS, ALONGSIDE
OF ME, YE KNOW ! ”
TORY REVELS.
[Slightly altered from Tennyson.)
“ Conservative Demonstrations,” held at the country seats of the Noble-
men and Gentlemen of the “ Constitutional Party,” have been of frequent
occurrence lately. On Monday the Marquis of Smallbeersbury opened
the splendid grounds of Hatsoff Park to a select party of about eleven thou-
sand five hundred Conservative Working Men, their wives and families, who
were regaled with a substantial cold collation, followed by a variety of out-
door sports, inducing Ethiopian minstrelsy, racing in sacks, kiss-in-the-ring,
-and dancing on the green. Several most eloquent speeches, extending over
more than three hours and a quarter', and in which the Borne, Irish, and
Foreign policy of the Liberal (r) Government was unhesitatingly condemned,
were delivered by the distinguished Statesmen present The enthusiasm of
the audience was tremendou-; and it was touching to mark the staunch
adherence to Conservative principles (and toffy) shown by mere infants. On
Tuesday the Earl of Stoptheway entertained the Members of the Dragbe-
hind Conservative Horny-handed Sons of Toil Club, with their President
the Hon Lilyavhite Paws, M. P , at his fine old ancestral seat, Blockington
Hall, Mouldy Huist. The entertainments included a capital meal, &c.,
blind man’s buff, lawn-tennis, bumblepuppy, coddams, and Tonic Sol-Fa
singing, followed by some most stirring displays of oratory from the distin-
guished Statesmen present, and in which the Foreign, Irish, and Horae
policy of the so-called Liberal Administration was unhesitatingly denounced.
The proceedings (which were throughout of a most enthusiastic character)
wound up with a brilliant display of fireworks.—On Saturday next it is
announced that a fete cliampetre will be given at Tolloddle Place, near
Sassidgebury, Epping, the picturesque seat of Sir Gypes Tolloddle, Bart.
The Members of the Anti-Bill-of-Rights Association, the Return-to-Rotten-
Boroughs League, and the Society for the Total Suppression of the Habeas
Corpus, will be present in force; and it is expected that resolutions scathingly
condemnatory of the Home and Foreign policy of a pseudo-Liberal Govern-
ment, will be moved and seconded by the distinguished Statesmen who have
promised to attend. The pyrotechnic arrangements have been entrusted to
the well-known firm of Blazes and Blowemup, Lower Explosion Road, S. E.
—Morning Bedpost.
Sir Gypes Tolloddle, all an Autumn day,
Gave his broad, breezy lands, till set of sun,
Up to the Tories. Thither flocked at noon
His helots, wife and child ; and thither half
The neighb’ring pocket-borough, “ pubs” and all,
Of which he was the Patron. I was there,
From Fleet Street visiting, the son of Punch ;
And Toby too, with others of onr set,
Together six, met at Tolloddle Place.
And me that morn the Bart, did show the house,
Rum, very rum, and full of rum old things,
All Tory. All the flowers were True Blue,
The proper colour of Conservatives;
Carv’d stones of Gramqiound’s ruins in the park,
Old Sarum’s wall, and Gatton’s franchise lost;
And on the tables musty vestiges
Of Tory rule were jumbled all together—
Gags, handcuffs, gyves, and busts of Castlereagh,
Dark lanterns, ex officio informations,
Stocks, whipping-posts, and ancient cats-o’-nine-tails,
Th’ accursed ballot-box and voting ticket,
The last Pot Walloper’s revered skull,
The bones of voters who paid scot and lot,
And the halfcrowns which they were paid for voting.
I went
(Nursing a Blue-Book on Election Bribes)
Down through the park : glad was the sight to see,
For all the sloping pasture murmur’d full
Of happy faces very red with beer.
There moved the multitude, a thousand heads.
The artful leaders of their Institute
Taught them with flams. One mix’d a bowl with soap-
And- water, and irom ’bacco-pipe did blow
The lying Tory bubble of the moment,
“ Unprofitably Gay ” ; and, lower down,
A man with knobs and wires sent
A bogus message. Echo, in her sleep,
Cried “ Telegraph! ” And here were telescopes
That plainly showed green cheese within the moon.
A clock-work steamer, mann’d by Radicals,
Paddled along, and all at once blew up.
A dozen Tory spouters jetted steam ;
A petty railway ran—and off the rails
Ran half the train, through a Fourth Party’s means.
A puppet Granville, in a parachute,
Soar’d high, collapsed, and tumbled on his nose.
How the mob roared! An image made like Dilke,
But which, in truth, was but a Chelsea Bun,
Was sacrificed with solemn ritual to
The Eleusinian Mysteries, and then
The children ate him.
Wolff, Gorst, and Warton, with their faces black’d
With smut of much incinerated cork,
With Welsh wigs dyed in ink like Ethiops’ wool,
And collars looming large like schooners’ sails,
Sang a Conservative and comic lay—
Its burden, “ We ’re a Merry Family,
We are ! we are ! ” And then an antic man,
Straw in his hair, and fury in his eye,
Full tilt at windmills with a gooiequill ran,
And mopp’d and mow’d, and said he was St. James,
That yonder was the War Traill from Pall Mall;
And, if these things were done in Greenwood, what
Should next be done in dry P Blest raver ! Then
A brave Aunt-Sallv image was set up,
To represent the “ People’s William’s ” phiz ;
And then, with yells of “ Yah ! ” from myriad throats,
They made a cockshy of the Grand Old Man.
An ox, that had a mask like Harcourt’s mug,
Was roasted whole, and Northcote basted it,
And revelled in the gravy ; so that grub
Went hand in hand with sport, and beer with both.
Elsewhere there was pure sport Peers raced in sacks ;
While through horse-collars M.P.’s gaily grinned
For phantom Lordships of the Treasury,
The while a bearded Marquis grimly shinn’d
A parlous passage up a greasy pole,
But soon slipped down again, and could not clutch
The much-loved leg of mutton fat, called “ Place.”
And then they talked. Good gracious, how they talked!
And how ten thousand Tory uFchins shrieked
HOSPITALITY.
“By the bye, Mr. Jones, they’ve elected ye at the Dina-
THERIUM, I 'm HAPPY TO OBSAIRVE. WlLL YE DO ME THE PLEASURE
OF DINING WITH ME THERE NEXT THURSDAY ?—THAT IS, ALONGSIDE
OF ME, YE KNOW ! ”
TORY REVELS.
[Slightly altered from Tennyson.)
“ Conservative Demonstrations,” held at the country seats of the Noble-
men and Gentlemen of the “ Constitutional Party,” have been of frequent
occurrence lately. On Monday the Marquis of Smallbeersbury opened
the splendid grounds of Hatsoff Park to a select party of about eleven thou-
sand five hundred Conservative Working Men, their wives and families, who
were regaled with a substantial cold collation, followed by a variety of out-
door sports, inducing Ethiopian minstrelsy, racing in sacks, kiss-in-the-ring,
-and dancing on the green. Several most eloquent speeches, extending over
more than three hours and a quarter', and in which the Borne, Irish, and
Foreign policy of the Liberal (r) Government was unhesitatingly condemned,
were delivered by the distinguished Statesmen present The enthusiasm of
the audience was tremendou-; and it was touching to mark the staunch
adherence to Conservative principles (and toffy) shown by mere infants. On
Tuesday the Earl of Stoptheway entertained the Members of the Dragbe-
hind Conservative Horny-handed Sons of Toil Club, with their President
the Hon Lilyavhite Paws, M. P , at his fine old ancestral seat, Blockington
Hall, Mouldy Huist. The entertainments included a capital meal, &c.,
blind man’s buff, lawn-tennis, bumblepuppy, coddams, and Tonic Sol-Fa
singing, followed by some most stirring displays of oratory from the distin-
guished Statesmen present, and in which the Foreign, Irish, and Horae
policy of the so-called Liberal Administration was unhesitatingly denounced.
The proceedings (which were throughout of a most enthusiastic character)
wound up with a brilliant display of fireworks.—On Saturday next it is
announced that a fete cliampetre will be given at Tolloddle Place, near
Sassidgebury, Epping, the picturesque seat of Sir Gypes Tolloddle, Bart.
The Members of the Anti-Bill-of-Rights Association, the Return-to-Rotten-
Boroughs League, and the Society for the Total Suppression of the Habeas
Corpus, will be present in force; and it is expected that resolutions scathingly
condemnatory of the Home and Foreign policy of a pseudo-Liberal Govern-
ment, will be moved and seconded by the distinguished Statesmen who have
promised to attend. The pyrotechnic arrangements have been entrusted to
the well-known firm of Blazes and Blowemup, Lower Explosion Road, S. E.
—Morning Bedpost.
Sir Gypes Tolloddle, all an Autumn day,
Gave his broad, breezy lands, till set of sun,
Up to the Tories. Thither flocked at noon
His helots, wife and child ; and thither half
The neighb’ring pocket-borough, “ pubs” and all,
Of which he was the Patron. I was there,
From Fleet Street visiting, the son of Punch ;
And Toby too, with others of onr set,
Together six, met at Tolloddle Place.
And me that morn the Bart, did show the house,
Rum, very rum, and full of rum old things,
All Tory. All the flowers were True Blue,
The proper colour of Conservatives;
Carv’d stones of Gramqiound’s ruins in the park,
Old Sarum’s wall, and Gatton’s franchise lost;
And on the tables musty vestiges
Of Tory rule were jumbled all together—
Gags, handcuffs, gyves, and busts of Castlereagh,
Dark lanterns, ex officio informations,
Stocks, whipping-posts, and ancient cats-o’-nine-tails,
Th’ accursed ballot-box and voting ticket,
The last Pot Walloper’s revered skull,
The bones of voters who paid scot and lot,
And the halfcrowns which they were paid for voting.
I went
(Nursing a Blue-Book on Election Bribes)
Down through the park : glad was the sight to see,
For all the sloping pasture murmur’d full
Of happy faces very red with beer.
There moved the multitude, a thousand heads.
The artful leaders of their Institute
Taught them with flams. One mix’d a bowl with soap-
And- water, and irom ’bacco-pipe did blow
The lying Tory bubble of the moment,
“ Unprofitably Gay ” ; and, lower down,
A man with knobs and wires sent
A bogus message. Echo, in her sleep,
Cried “ Telegraph! ” And here were telescopes
That plainly showed green cheese within the moon.
A clock-work steamer, mann’d by Radicals,
Paddled along, and all at once blew up.
A dozen Tory spouters jetted steam ;
A petty railway ran—and off the rails
Ran half the train, through a Fourth Party’s means.
A puppet Granville, in a parachute,
Soar’d high, collapsed, and tumbled on his nose.
How the mob roared! An image made like Dilke,
But which, in truth, was but a Chelsea Bun,
Was sacrificed with solemn ritual to
The Eleusinian Mysteries, and then
The children ate him.
Wolff, Gorst, and Warton, with their faces black’d
With smut of much incinerated cork,
With Welsh wigs dyed in ink like Ethiops’ wool,
And collars looming large like schooners’ sails,
Sang a Conservative and comic lay—
Its burden, “ We ’re a Merry Family,
We are ! we are ! ” And then an antic man,
Straw in his hair, and fury in his eye,
Full tilt at windmills with a gooiequill ran,
And mopp’d and mow’d, and said he was St. James,
That yonder was the War Traill from Pall Mall;
And, if these things were done in Greenwood, what
Should next be done in dry P Blest raver ! Then
A brave Aunt-Sallv image was set up,
To represent the “ People’s William’s ” phiz ;
And then, with yells of “ Yah ! ” from myriad throats,
They made a cockshy of the Grand Old Man.
An ox, that had a mask like Harcourt’s mug,
Was roasted whole, and Northcote basted it,
And revelled in the gravy ; so that grub
Went hand in hand with sport, and beer with both.
Elsewhere there was pure sport Peers raced in sacks ;
While through horse-collars M.P.’s gaily grinned
For phantom Lordships of the Treasury,
The while a bearded Marquis grimly shinn’d
A parlous passage up a greasy pole,
But soon slipped down again, and could not clutch
The much-loved leg of mutton fat, called “ Place.”
And then they talked. Good gracious, how they talked!
And how ten thousand Tory uFchins shrieked