DOI issue:
August 26, 1882
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0096
88 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 26, 1882.
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Theatre-Royal, St. Stephen’s, will Re-Open for short Autumnal Season October 24ih, when the new Piece, ‘‘Cloture,”
UNAVOIDABLY POSTPONED SINCE FEBRUARY, WILL BE PUT INTO ACTIVE PREPARATION.
Monday night, August 14.—One of those evenings which make the
Aquarium of no account, and utterly falsify the proverb from the
ancient Sagas about Rosherville being the place to spend a happy day in.
“ For my part, Toby,” says (Gregory, “ I am a little fastidious
about my enjoyments. Have made a study of pleasure for some
years, whence, perhaps, I acquire my jovial appearance. You may
take your operas, your theatres, your garden-parties, your shooting,
your fishing, or even your goings-up in a balloon. Give me the
House of Commons, meeting in August when the Indian Budget
is on, and Lord Hartington is making the statement.”
Mr. Gregory rushed into the House so as not to miss a minute of
the fun. Noticed that Hinde Palmer was also early in his
place just behind the Treasury Bench. Quite agree with Gregory.
Really is enough to raise one’s spirits at the end of a hard Session to
see Gregory to the left of the Speaker, Hinde Palmer to the right,
and in the middle distance Hartington on his feet entering into
minute details of Indian Finance.
Exhilaration completed by what followed. The Members who
discuss Indian affairs do not stand absolutely in the front ranks of
Parliamentary attractiveness. Still, one may spend a pleasant
evening, especially if it’s hot, with Sir George Campbell, Sir
George Balfour, Mr. Alderman Fowler, Sir Walter Barttelot,
Mr. O’Donnell, and Mr. Arthur Arnold.
A little disturbing to the repose that steeps mind and body on
these occasions is the marvel at the range of talent of latter
personage. Some men of long standing in the House are content to
be authorities on one subject, or even two. Some are well up on the
Land question, others on India, others on Ireland; some think
Foreign Polities wide enough for their range ; others lend their
powerful minds to discussion in Committee of Supply; whilst others,
like Mr. Trevelyan for example before he joined the Ministry, take
a single subject like the assimilation of the Borough and County
Franchise, make it their own, and hammer away at it till it is in
shape for legislation. One of Arthur’s earliest Parliamentary feats
was, without saying by your leave, to appropriate Trevelyan’s
Motion, regardless of the circumstance that the Government had
already adopted it as their own. In addition, he is at home on all
subjects named above, and many more.
“ Wonderful man, Arnold,” I said to Gladstone, as we went
down in a ’bus together to the East End, where, in preparation for
his cruise, Weg was going to get a nautical suit at a shop in White-
chapel, which he’d heard highly spoken of. “ Quite the Admirable
Crichton of the House of Commons. Knows everything.”
| “ All things but one,” said Weg, looking down at me over the edge
| of his collar, as one might gaze at a remote object over the verge of
1 a precipice. “ He doesn’t know the House of Commons.”
Business done.—Indian Budget brought in.
Tuesday Night.—Irishmen gone over to Dublin to revel in the
splendid eloquence of Lord Mayor Dawson at unveiling of
O’Connell’s monument. Mr. Callan left behind to represent the
j gentleness and the genius of Ireland. Bose to the height of occa-
sion. Began by moving Adjournment of House at question-time,
whilst he charged some of his countrymen, holding official positions
in Ireland, with heinous crimes. Attorney-General showed there
was not slightest foundation for allegations. Nevertheless, some
hours later, Mr. Callan turned up again. What with heat of the
weather, and weight of responsibility, as sole representative of
Ireland, seemed to have forgotten what had taken place earlier in the
evening. Made his speech over again, and then promised to deliver
it again the next day. Sir William Harcourt, out of sympathy
with patriotic sentiments perhaps a little incoherently expressed,
came down heavy on the Member for Louth, who politely retorted
by giving him the lie direct. Lyon Playfair lingered long round
the representative for Ireland, offering him repeated opportunities-j
to withdraw. Callan firm. Not going to waste an opportunity, or
lose a leaf of his laurels. In the end suspended, after an inter-
ruption of public business which, from first to last, covered an hour
and a half. Mr. Callan highly gratified. Will go back to Ireland
covered with glory.
“ Thim fellows thought they were doin’ a foine thing in goin’ to
Dublin, and showing thimselves beside O’Connell. Thought they’d
left Philip Callan in the lurch, bad cess to ’em ! But I ’ve bate
thim now, and no harm done till I get suspended the third time, and
begorra I ’ll lave that overfill the last day but two of the Autumn
Session, when I ’ll ask the Sparer to oblige me agin. They think
they ’re a foine clever lot here. But Phil Callan twists them round
his finger as aisy as if they was a bit of soap, and,” he added, reflec-
tively calling to mind the advantage of more constant practice,
“ aisier.” There’s a good deal in what Mr. Callan says.
Ashmead Arabi Bartlett Bey had a fine field night. Delivered
luminous address on Foreign Policy, in hearing of six Members.
Stafford Northcote may shirk his duty, Drummond Wolfe may
cut away before the end of the Session, and Lord Elcho may steal a
march by moving Adjournment of the House, so that he can get off I
his speech, and then get off himself. “ If other boroughs fail at the 1
crisis, Eye won’t,” says Ashmead, who hath a gentle wit.
Business done.—Mr. Callan expelled from another Club.
Wednesday.—Great disappointment in sixty noble breasts. Gene-
rally understood that everybody’s gone out of town. House does
not adjourn till Friday ; but after Session of the kind we’ve had,
natural disposition on the part of Members to clear out. Occurred
to sixty Members that here was a chance of immortality. A bril-
liant picture rises before heated imagination. Everybody away
except him. Enters House ; takes his seat. Only Sergeant-at- i
Arms and Clerk at table at present. Sergeant-at-Arms stands at- (
entrance, looking across deserted Lobby. Nobody else comes. Pre- j
sently walks up-stairs. Patrols Committee-ltoom with drawn i
sword. Pokes with brand under tables, chairs, and in cupboards j
where Members not desiring to make a House are accustomed, to
lurk. Comes down, and finds the one Member in his place, waiting
t.o say his prayers. No House, no prayers. No Speaker, no Motion
of Adjournment at question time. No calling names, and then.
j
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Theatre-Royal, St. Stephen’s, will Re-Open for short Autumnal Season October 24ih, when the new Piece, ‘‘Cloture,”
UNAVOIDABLY POSTPONED SINCE FEBRUARY, WILL BE PUT INTO ACTIVE PREPARATION.
Monday night, August 14.—One of those evenings which make the
Aquarium of no account, and utterly falsify the proverb from the
ancient Sagas about Rosherville being the place to spend a happy day in.
“ For my part, Toby,” says (Gregory, “ I am a little fastidious
about my enjoyments. Have made a study of pleasure for some
years, whence, perhaps, I acquire my jovial appearance. You may
take your operas, your theatres, your garden-parties, your shooting,
your fishing, or even your goings-up in a balloon. Give me the
House of Commons, meeting in August when the Indian Budget
is on, and Lord Hartington is making the statement.”
Mr. Gregory rushed into the House so as not to miss a minute of
the fun. Noticed that Hinde Palmer was also early in his
place just behind the Treasury Bench. Quite agree with Gregory.
Really is enough to raise one’s spirits at the end of a hard Session to
see Gregory to the left of the Speaker, Hinde Palmer to the right,
and in the middle distance Hartington on his feet entering into
minute details of Indian Finance.
Exhilaration completed by what followed. The Members who
discuss Indian affairs do not stand absolutely in the front ranks of
Parliamentary attractiveness. Still, one may spend a pleasant
evening, especially if it’s hot, with Sir George Campbell, Sir
George Balfour, Mr. Alderman Fowler, Sir Walter Barttelot,
Mr. O’Donnell, and Mr. Arthur Arnold.
A little disturbing to the repose that steeps mind and body on
these occasions is the marvel at the range of talent of latter
personage. Some men of long standing in the House are content to
be authorities on one subject, or even two. Some are well up on the
Land question, others on India, others on Ireland; some think
Foreign Polities wide enough for their range ; others lend their
powerful minds to discussion in Committee of Supply; whilst others,
like Mr. Trevelyan for example before he joined the Ministry, take
a single subject like the assimilation of the Borough and County
Franchise, make it their own, and hammer away at it till it is in
shape for legislation. One of Arthur’s earliest Parliamentary feats
was, without saying by your leave, to appropriate Trevelyan’s
Motion, regardless of the circumstance that the Government had
already adopted it as their own. In addition, he is at home on all
subjects named above, and many more.
“ Wonderful man, Arnold,” I said to Gladstone, as we went
down in a ’bus together to the East End, where, in preparation for
his cruise, Weg was going to get a nautical suit at a shop in White-
chapel, which he’d heard highly spoken of. “ Quite the Admirable
Crichton of the House of Commons. Knows everything.”
| “ All things but one,” said Weg, looking down at me over the edge
| of his collar, as one might gaze at a remote object over the verge of
1 a precipice. “ He doesn’t know the House of Commons.”
Business done.—Indian Budget brought in.
Tuesday Night.—Irishmen gone over to Dublin to revel in the
splendid eloquence of Lord Mayor Dawson at unveiling of
O’Connell’s monument. Mr. Callan left behind to represent the
j gentleness and the genius of Ireland. Bose to the height of occa-
sion. Began by moving Adjournment of House at question-time,
whilst he charged some of his countrymen, holding official positions
in Ireland, with heinous crimes. Attorney-General showed there
was not slightest foundation for allegations. Nevertheless, some
hours later, Mr. Callan turned up again. What with heat of the
weather, and weight of responsibility, as sole representative of
Ireland, seemed to have forgotten what had taken place earlier in the
evening. Made his speech over again, and then promised to deliver
it again the next day. Sir William Harcourt, out of sympathy
with patriotic sentiments perhaps a little incoherently expressed,
came down heavy on the Member for Louth, who politely retorted
by giving him the lie direct. Lyon Playfair lingered long round
the representative for Ireland, offering him repeated opportunities-j
to withdraw. Callan firm. Not going to waste an opportunity, or
lose a leaf of his laurels. In the end suspended, after an inter-
ruption of public business which, from first to last, covered an hour
and a half. Mr. Callan highly gratified. Will go back to Ireland
covered with glory.
“ Thim fellows thought they were doin’ a foine thing in goin’ to
Dublin, and showing thimselves beside O’Connell. Thought they’d
left Philip Callan in the lurch, bad cess to ’em ! But I ’ve bate
thim now, and no harm done till I get suspended the third time, and
begorra I ’ll lave that overfill the last day but two of the Autumn
Session, when I ’ll ask the Sparer to oblige me agin. They think
they ’re a foine clever lot here. But Phil Callan twists them round
his finger as aisy as if they was a bit of soap, and,” he added, reflec-
tively calling to mind the advantage of more constant practice,
“ aisier.” There’s a good deal in what Mr. Callan says.
Ashmead Arabi Bartlett Bey had a fine field night. Delivered
luminous address on Foreign Policy, in hearing of six Members.
Stafford Northcote may shirk his duty, Drummond Wolfe may
cut away before the end of the Session, and Lord Elcho may steal a
march by moving Adjournment of the House, so that he can get off I
his speech, and then get off himself. “ If other boroughs fail at the 1
crisis, Eye won’t,” says Ashmead, who hath a gentle wit.
Business done.—Mr. Callan expelled from another Club.
Wednesday.—Great disappointment in sixty noble breasts. Gene-
rally understood that everybody’s gone out of town. House does
not adjourn till Friday ; but after Session of the kind we’ve had,
natural disposition on the part of Members to clear out. Occurred
to sixty Members that here was a chance of immortality. A bril-
liant picture rises before heated imagination. Everybody away
except him. Enters House ; takes his seat. Only Sergeant-at- i
Arms and Clerk at table at present. Sergeant-at-Arms stands at- (
entrance, looking across deserted Lobby. Nobody else comes. Pre- j
sently walks up-stairs. Patrols Committee-ltoom with drawn i
sword. Pokes with brand under tables, chairs, and in cupboards j
where Members not desiring to make a House are accustomed, to
lurk. Comes down, and finds the one Member in his place, waiting
t.o say his prayers. No House, no prayers. No Speaker, no Motion
of Adjournment at question time. No calling names, and then.
j