Punch: Punch (83.1882)

September 16, 1882.] PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

123

A GLORIOUS VICTORY.

It was a summer evening,

Old Roger’s work was done,

And he his fragrant honey-dew
Was smoking in the sun,

And by him sported, bright and fair,

His little grandchild, Golden Hair.

She saw her brother, Curly Head,

Bring something hard and round
Which he, upon the mantel-shelf,

Beneath a shade, had found.

She came to ask what he had found
That was so hard, and smooth, and round.

Old Roger took it from the boy
Who stood expectant by,

And then the old man told the tale—

(Fire kindled in his eye)—

“ This is the Cricket-Ball,” said he,

“ That tells of a great Victory.

“ I prize it more than'all I have,

It’s worth can ne’er be told ;

’Tis true ’tis only leather, but
’Tis more to me than gold !

Go, place it back again,” said he,—

“It was a famous Victory.”

“Please tell us what it is you mean,”

Young Curly Head he cries;

And little Golden Hair looks up
With wonder-waiting eyes:—

“ Yes, tell us, for we long to know
The reason why you prize it so.”

“It was the Colonists,” he said,

“ Of now undying fame,

Who met Eleven picked Englishmen
And put them all to shame :

For everybody said,” quoth he,

“ That ’twas a famous Victory.

“ The contest at the Oval was—

The noted ground hard by—

’Twas there that Spofforth smashed the stumps,
And made the bails to fly ;

But things like that, you know, must be
At every famous Victory.

“ Not even Grace, of matchless skill
(No worthier in the land),

The ‘ Demon’s’ onslaughts could resist,

His awful speed withstand;

By lightning smit, as falls the oak,

The wickets fell beneath his stroke!

“ And more than twenty thousand men,

With bated breath, looked on—

The threatening rain deterred them not,

Nor did the scorching sun ;

Their time and money gave to see
Who ’d gain the famous Victory.

“ And when at last the crisis came—

When one must quickly yield—

When Peate, the famous Yorkshireman,

His wicket failed to shield,

All over was the splendid play—

The Englishmen had lost the day I

“ They say it was a wondrous sight,

After the match was done,

To see so many thousand men
After the Victors run;

But things like that, you know, must be
At every famous Victory.

“ Great praise the 1 Demon ’ Spofforth gained,
His bowling was so rare.”

“ 1 think he must have frightened them,”

Said little Golden Hair.

“ Well, well, my little girl,” quoth he,

“ It was a famous Victory !

“ And everyone the ‘ Demon ’ cheered,

So many low he laid ”-

“ But what could they he all about
To let him f ” Curly said:

“ Why that—l cannot tell,” said he;

“ But ’twas a famous Victory! ”

A SERIOUS MUDDLE.

A “Serious Young Man” is greatly exercised by the subjoined passages
in a speech delivered, according to the Hampshire Independent, at the late
Annual Meeting of the Southern Unitarian Association, held at Newport, I. W.
—Subject, “ The need of urging the claims of Christianity on the people.”
In the course of his remarks, as reported, the speaker, questioning the tactics
of the Salvation Army, said :—

“If Christianity was to be really aggressive, it must not spend itself in mere excite-
ment, or cramp itself within the limits of narrow dogmas. It must be wide and open,
teaching such doctrines as the fatherhood of God, the brotherhood of man, and a strong
belief in immorality.” {Sic.)

The “Serious Young Man” had always understood that the Unitarians,
however sadly in error as to their peculiar principles, were, in point of moral
doctrine, at any rate, a respectable body. He had ever supposed them altogether
the reverse of Amtinomians ; or, as he has heard an old lady say, Antimonials,
and never dreamt that not only did they profess Antinomianism, or Anti-
monialism, but pushed it to the extent of actually inculcating immorality.
He had lately had an idea of joining the Salvation Army; an inclination
which was very much strengthened by finding the method of that Soldiery
represented by an Unitarian as opposed to a belief in immorality.

Of course, the Serious Young Man is dumbfounded simply by immortality
without a T. (No paradise for a Teetotaller.) He fails to perceive that
misprints will occur in the best edited newspapers.

ANONYMOUS LETTER-WRITER.

THE

Note from Hollingshead’s Chronicles. — Good omen at Sandown last
week.—Gaiety, an easy one-length winner. Reduce new piece to “one length.”
If I were asked (which I am not) to give an illustration of length without
breadth, I should say, “Edward Terry.”

Chorus of Theatrical Managers in re The Metropolitan Board of
Works.—“ We ’re all bound to go the whole Hogg, or none ! ”