DOI issue:
October 7, 1882
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0175
168
[October 7,
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
ALL THE DIFFERENCE.”
Dyspeptic Diner. “Um"—{forking it suspiciously)—“what is it, Waiter?”
'Robert.' “It says ‘Ronyongs Sorty’ on the Menoo, Sir, But I can’t
SAY WHAY IT MAY BE ON THE DlSH ! ”
special opportunities for the limitless consumption of
brandy-and-sod a.
Zurich.—Good place for finishing your perfect restora-
tion to health before returning home. Consequently,
indulge in heavy breakfasts, enormous dinners, and un-
limited smoking. Bet, play and flutter (by telegraph)
on the Stock Exchange. Then, when your pulse is once
more under the finger of your Doctor, he will find it ’s
as difficult a study as ever it was.
A SONG or SOCIAL SCIENCE.
“ The Association was founded to elucidate the economical and
moral principles on which the Constitution of Society should
be based, and to influence, by the light of those principles,
the course of future legislation.”—Mr. G. W. Hastings, M.P ,
in his Address at the Opening of the 25th Annual Meeting of
the Social Science Congress, in the neiv Lecture Rail of the
University at Nottingham.
If “ principles” are “nuts” to you,
And promptly you’d be spotting ’em,
Best take a turn, Sir, at the new
Big lecture-rooms that grace the U-
-niversity at Nottingham !
There Blues orate till all is blue,
(Knights and M.P.’s “ big-potting” ’em)
If you the social maze would view,
They ’ll guide you through it at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
Twenty-five years since first they blew
Big Guns, Lord Brougham shotting ’em,
And now there’s nothing new or true
But they ’ll ban? at you—at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
If you would dish the Landlord crew,
By laws, icithout Boycotting ’em,
The Settled Land Act’s action scru-
-tinise as pictured at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
If you’d rejoice in skies of blue,
With no big chimneys blotting ’em,
You ’ll probably learn what to do
By patient listening at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
MEMS. FROM THE NOTE-BOOK OF A TRAVELLER.
I (Who has been sent Abroad to Recruit his Health.)
Aix-la- Chapelle.—Take your Champagne in magnums, as the place is rather
dull.
Boulogne.—On the wane. Your dejeuner a la fourchette of seven courses on
the Pier, not so good as usual.
Cologne.—Capital table d'hote at the Hotel du Nord. Don’t miss either the
one at 1'30, or the other at 6.
Dieppe.—Best time for baccarat is between 11 P.M. and three in the morning.
Ems.—Lay in a good stock of Turkish tobacco. Your average will be, in this
air, one hundred and twenty cigarettes a day.
Florence.—As pictures are tiring, you had better take your lunch in bed
before you go to see them.
Geneva.—Good place for learning how to drink kummel by the mugful.
Heidelberg.—If you ever manage to walk up to the Castle, you may safely
reward yourself with a slight repast of potage -a la bisque, pate de foies gras, and a
hundred of walnuts.
Lucerne.—Capital hotel, the Schweitzerhoff. If you have been very ill in Town
from dyspepsia, you may safely stay here a fortnight, as you will not find a
better table d'hote in all Switzerland.
Manheim.—Dull. Capital place for practising the art of substituting Char-
treuse vert for tea at breakfast.
Nancy— Good pastry. At lunch-time you may eat it by pounds. Never
mind the directions of your Doctor—it is really excellent.
Ouchy.—If walking has been ordered you, you will find it a pleasant stroll
from the Dependance to the hotel. The rest of the day you can spend lounging
in a chair in the garden. After dinner you can stroll back from the hotel to the
Dependance.
Paris.—Average hour of retiring to rest, 3 a.m. Mind, you were told to go
in for regular habits.
Stresa.— If you have been advised to bathe, you can watch the adventurous
i persons who take a plunge in the Lago Maggiore—from the shore.
1 Venice.—Good place for exercise (if ordered), as you may travel for miles—
in a gondola!
Wiesbaden.—As everybody dines at half-past one here, the afternoon offers
If you tight-lacing would eschew,
See girls with “ bags ” culotte-ing ’em,
Or “ dual garmenture,” why few
Subjects more “ fetch ” them at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham !
You’d learn how Woman’s rights first grew,
And how Man shirked allotting ’em !
On all such questions they ’ll adju-
dicate serenely at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
Our Social Factors you’d review.
And learn the art of “ totting ” ’em ?
Bless you ! Statistics stiff are stu-
diously fed on at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
Facts about drains, the Workman’s “ screw,”
Girls’ boots, would you be jotting ’em ?
They ’ll stuff you with enough to ru-
- min ate for years on at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
Would you the World of Hobbies view,
Behold their riders trotting ’em,
That Universe they will elu-
-cidate completely at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham !
Battle of Hastings ! Pun, Sir ? Pooh!
Poor wags are always plotting ’em.
Yet twenty-five years war, ’tis true,
Culminates this year at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
“Lord Mayor’s Day^”—no, not this year; Lord
Mayor’s Knight.
[October 7,
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
ALL THE DIFFERENCE.”
Dyspeptic Diner. “Um"—{forking it suspiciously)—“what is it, Waiter?”
'Robert.' “It says ‘Ronyongs Sorty’ on the Menoo, Sir, But I can’t
SAY WHAY IT MAY BE ON THE DlSH ! ”
special opportunities for the limitless consumption of
brandy-and-sod a.
Zurich.—Good place for finishing your perfect restora-
tion to health before returning home. Consequently,
indulge in heavy breakfasts, enormous dinners, and un-
limited smoking. Bet, play and flutter (by telegraph)
on the Stock Exchange. Then, when your pulse is once
more under the finger of your Doctor, he will find it ’s
as difficult a study as ever it was.
A SONG or SOCIAL SCIENCE.
“ The Association was founded to elucidate the economical and
moral principles on which the Constitution of Society should
be based, and to influence, by the light of those principles,
the course of future legislation.”—Mr. G. W. Hastings, M.P ,
in his Address at the Opening of the 25th Annual Meeting of
the Social Science Congress, in the neiv Lecture Rail of the
University at Nottingham.
If “ principles” are “nuts” to you,
And promptly you’d be spotting ’em,
Best take a turn, Sir, at the new
Big lecture-rooms that grace the U-
-niversity at Nottingham !
There Blues orate till all is blue,
(Knights and M.P.’s “ big-potting” ’em)
If you the social maze would view,
They ’ll guide you through it at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
Twenty-five years since first they blew
Big Guns, Lord Brougham shotting ’em,
And now there’s nothing new or true
But they ’ll ban? at you—at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
If you would dish the Landlord crew,
By laws, icithout Boycotting ’em,
The Settled Land Act’s action scru-
-tinise as pictured at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
If you’d rejoice in skies of blue,
With no big chimneys blotting ’em,
You ’ll probably learn what to do
By patient listening at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
MEMS. FROM THE NOTE-BOOK OF A TRAVELLER.
I (Who has been sent Abroad to Recruit his Health.)
Aix-la- Chapelle.—Take your Champagne in magnums, as the place is rather
dull.
Boulogne.—On the wane. Your dejeuner a la fourchette of seven courses on
the Pier, not so good as usual.
Cologne.—Capital table d'hote at the Hotel du Nord. Don’t miss either the
one at 1'30, or the other at 6.
Dieppe.—Best time for baccarat is between 11 P.M. and three in the morning.
Ems.—Lay in a good stock of Turkish tobacco. Your average will be, in this
air, one hundred and twenty cigarettes a day.
Florence.—As pictures are tiring, you had better take your lunch in bed
before you go to see them.
Geneva.—Good place for learning how to drink kummel by the mugful.
Heidelberg.—If you ever manage to walk up to the Castle, you may safely
reward yourself with a slight repast of potage -a la bisque, pate de foies gras, and a
hundred of walnuts.
Lucerne.—Capital hotel, the Schweitzerhoff. If you have been very ill in Town
from dyspepsia, you may safely stay here a fortnight, as you will not find a
better table d'hote in all Switzerland.
Manheim.—Dull. Capital place for practising the art of substituting Char-
treuse vert for tea at breakfast.
Nancy— Good pastry. At lunch-time you may eat it by pounds. Never
mind the directions of your Doctor—it is really excellent.
Ouchy.—If walking has been ordered you, you will find it a pleasant stroll
from the Dependance to the hotel. The rest of the day you can spend lounging
in a chair in the garden. After dinner you can stroll back from the hotel to the
Dependance.
Paris.—Average hour of retiring to rest, 3 a.m. Mind, you were told to go
in for regular habits.
Stresa.— If you have been advised to bathe, you can watch the adventurous
i persons who take a plunge in the Lago Maggiore—from the shore.
1 Venice.—Good place for exercise (if ordered), as you may travel for miles—
in a gondola!
Wiesbaden.—As everybody dines at half-past one here, the afternoon offers
If you tight-lacing would eschew,
See girls with “ bags ” culotte-ing ’em,
Or “ dual garmenture,” why few
Subjects more “ fetch ” them at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham !
You’d learn how Woman’s rights first grew,
And how Man shirked allotting ’em !
On all such questions they ’ll adju-
dicate serenely at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
Our Social Factors you’d review.
And learn the art of “ totting ” ’em ?
Bless you ! Statistics stiff are stu-
diously fed on at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
Facts about drains, the Workman’s “ screw,”
Girls’ boots, would you be jotting ’em ?
They ’ll stuff you with enough to ru-
- min ate for years on at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
Would you the World of Hobbies view,
Behold their riders trotting ’em,
That Universe they will elu-
-cidate completely at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham !
Battle of Hastings ! Pun, Sir ? Pooh!
Poor wags are always plotting ’em.
Yet twenty-five years war, ’tis true,
Culminates this year at the U-
-niversity at Nottingham!
“Lord Mayor’s Day^”—no, not this year; Lord
Mayor’s Knight.