254

PUNCH, OK THK oOiNOON CHAKIVAKL |Decemeer 2. 1o&^'

PURS.

PUNCH’S FANCY PORTRAITS.—No. 112,

By an Old Fogey.

A fashionable journal says that
furs will be more extensively
■worn tbau ever tbis winter.]

I ’ve seen the ladies in a dress,
In ancient days brocaded,
And thought at that time, I
confess,

None looked so well as they
did.

I’ve known them wear the
fresh-cnt flow’r,

Or artificial blossom,

But now the fashion of the hour
Is sealskin or opossum.

They wear the skunk or the
racoon.

Queens claim the royal er-
mine ;

The silver fox skin is a boon
So Fashion’s laws determine.
The bear is pleasant to the
touch,

That hero of old fables,

We owe the genet to the Dutch,
And Russia sends her sables.

And these are all the mode,
they say,

To deck each youthful
beauty,

Furs, too, were famous in the
day

When I did lover’s duty.

I cannot name the kind of fur
She wore, but I remember
How beautiful it looked on her
j In that bygone December.

Ho w F ashion f aithf ully repeats
Her list of old successes,—

X walk to-day the London
streets,

And see the ancient dresses.
The only difference seems to be
You ’re all in such a hurry ;
We took our time in ’Twenty-
Three,

When girls were fair—and
furry !

SIR HENRY HAWKINS,,

The Adviser oe the Police, and the Master of the Hard Sen-
tences. He was recently down on the Threatening-Royalty-
Letter-Writer “ like a Bird ! ”

A TIP TO TEETOTALLERS.

Mr. A. M. Sullivan is wel-
come back from the United
States and to the dinner the
Irish Members offer him. This
recognition is as creditable to
them as bis work in America
is honourable to him, Unlike
some orators from Ireland ad-
dressing Irish-Americans, Mr.
Sullivan dared to state the
truth, though unpalatable.
For the first time since their
exile began the Irish in Ame-
rica heard a kind word for
Mr. Gladstone, and a vindi-
cation of the good effected by
the Land Act. The experi-
ment was a bold one, but it
succeeded; and in the rela-
tions of the two countries per-
manent good is likely to result
from Mr. Sullivan’s visit.

This said with reference to
the public aspect of the tour,
we regret to find evidence of
demoralisation in private cha-
racter. In the New Orleans
Picayune, which gives an
account of Mr. Sullivan’s
enthusiastic reception in the
Southern City, and of the
brave, honest words spoken by
him, the following is written

“ At the invitation of Mr. Dono-
van, the visitors tipped glasses
■with Mr. Sullivan, and drank
to an eloquent sentiment by Mr.
Semmes : ‘ Louisiana and Ireland,
may they ever prosper under
Home-Rule.’ ”

This, Sir Wilfrid Lawson
will doubtless think, is co-
quetting with the enemy. _ A
man cannot go “ tipping
glasses” without running a
risk of becoming tipsy him-
self, and Mr. Sullivan was,
at least when he left Eng-
land, the foremost champion
of temperance.


TKIAL BY JUDGE.

■ Scene—Interior of a Court of Law during the hearing of a libel
case, tohich has had an unprecedented run of any number of
days, Mr. Baron Meddlesome presiding on the Bench, sur-
rounded by plaster-casts and rough sketches, looking, at first
sight, like a forensic Auctioneer entrusted with the sale of the
bankrupt stock of a Shopkeeper in the Euston Road. Members
of the Junior Bar in odd corners, having been ousted by Ladies
(ichiefly knitting) who have annexed their places. In one odd
corner Statue of “ Eve before the Fall,'” or some other female
m similar costume, appealing to the skylight fir justice on
behalf of tvigged but seatless Members of the Briefless Brigade
who surround her. Jury more or less bored in one box. Foreign
Witness more or less defiant in another box. Representatives of
the Press, more or less confuted, in a third b»x. Counsel for
Plaintiff and Defendant professionally antagonistic. JVeary
TJslier in attendance.

Mr. Baron Muddlesome (courteously). One moment, if you please,
j (Opens note-book, and then regards vacant places on the Bench, to
! see if room has been _ left for expected Duchesses. Is satisfied on
| finding that distinguished Visitors of the less illustrious sort have
| been accommodated with seats so near the Jury that they look like
honorary members of that body.) And now, Mr. Bustle, we will
continue the discussion of that point we left unsolved last night.

Counsel for Defendant. With yonr Ludship’s favour, what point ?

Mr. Baron Muddlesome (stroking his chin, smiling at the Jury,
and caressing his nose). What,point? Allow me—let me see. I
will refer to my Notes. (Long pause, during which lvis Lordship
goes through a number of pages of Vs own Notes, which seem to

cause him extreme surprise and confusion.) Ah ! here it i3 ! I
would merely point out that unless the Witness explains what he
means by calling Antwerp, or—faith courteously explanatory bow
to Jury)—Ongvayrs, which is the French equivalent— a port, it will
be open to observation—(smiles, frowns, waves his hand, and bows)
—when I come to the summing-up.

Counsel for Defendant [sharply). I beg your pardon, your Lud-
ship ; but, with your Ludship’s consent, I beg to say that the
Witness made use of no such expression.

Mr. Baron Muddlesome (distressed). Yon think not? Now, let
me clear my mind. (Caresses his nose, and dives once niore into his
Notes.) I have it distinctly written here that the Witness on the
Quartrer der Julee—{to the Jury, with a smile)—in. English, the
Fourth of July—the Witness said he delivered the sketch to the
Plaintiff. Eh ? (Smiles, looks at Jury, and then at the_ Counsel.

Counsel for Defendant. With your Ludship’s permission, what
sketch ? _

Mr. Baron Muddlesome (waving his hand to Counsel). One i
moment, if you please. I am at present disposing of another matter, j
(Has a long whispered conversation with Official,—then aloud.) Oh,
certainly! Let Her Grace come on to the Bench immediately. (A Lady J
is introduced. His Lordship treats her with extreme courtesy. Turning
to Counsel rather angrily.) And now, Mr. Bustle, we are waiting
for you ? \_Srniles at Lady, and waves his hand to Jury.

Counsel for Defendant (sharply). I am at your Lndship’s
disposal!

Mr. Baron Muddlesome (confused). I beg yonr pardon. One
moment ; I will refer to my Notes.

Counsel for Plaintiff. I have no wish to intervene in this discus-
sion, hut mis;ht I ask, with all respect to yonr Ludship, what are w
all talking ahonjt? ILaughter, which is suppressed by weary Usbet-.