DOI issue:
April 21, 1883
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17754#0198
Apkil 21, 1883,]
PUNCH, OH THE LONDON CHAHIVAKI.
191
He might have foreseen it from certain Signs, had his dull Brain but recognised their significance. He thought
’twas but the thrifty Maid bidding Time to pass and leave his cleanly Footsteps over all. Anon he observed further
indications, but heeded not their portent ! And not till its scattered Germs were gathered in full force, and with
A WILD FURY LET LOOSE UPON HIS BED-ROOM—AND FINDING ALL THAT WAS, WAS NOT !—DID HE REALISE THAT HE WAS IN THE
very midst of A SPRING CLEANING ! !
so, as to his thinking the only place in which to get a reelly great
dinner was the Manshun House. Of course I don’t pretend to know
much about how importent matters like these is managed in the
Polly tickle World, but I should think that such rewelashuns as these
would settle the matter at wunse, and shut up the Firth of Forth
like a werry hard frost.
I wish sum of our bitter foes could have herd the Lord Mare’s
speech. Didn’t he tell ’em just all about the Egypshun Champain !
Why there was sum things as he told ’em as even I hadn’t heard on
afore. And what did Lord Garnet Wolsey say in reply, and this
ought to be writ in gold in the memory of every friend of the old
Copperashun, “ I ask for no greater reward, however long I may
live, than that I have received to-day.”
It’s the custom of many unthinking people to laugh at the old
Copperashun because they indulges theirselves and their trends
pretty offen in all the dellycases of horspitality, but the nex time as
any such ungenerous thort comes across what they calls their minds,
let them remember the grand old history of the grand old Coppera-
shun, and let them also remember, that one of the coolest as well as
one of the bravest solgers this great country ever produced not only
said the words quoted above, but also said at Gildhall that werry
same morning, as I herd with my own ears, that the receet of the
Telegram from the Lord Mare and Copperashun immediately after
his great wictory gave him the greatest and most intense pleasure.
And why, because for ages and ages, no great man who has dun
his country good serwice thinks he ’s had his full reward till he’s
made a honnerray freeman of the oldest the richest the charitablest
and the horsepitablest City as is to be found in Urop in Asia in
Africka or in Ameriker. Robert.
The Proprietors of the Illustrated Weekly Papers must have
trembled last Saturday morning when the Daily Telegraph came
out with a couple of Pictures of “No. 1.” If “ Your likeness in
this style ” be frequently repeated, it will be fatal to the existence
of the Police News.
A CAST-IRON EDITOR.
[A Journal, devoted to the cotton, wool, and iron trades, asks if “ someone
will only get up a patent, automatic, self-adjusting, double-backed, cast-iron
Editor ! ”]
Wanted, a double-backed, cast-iron Editor,
One who’s as strong as a full-armoured ship,
Who, like a spendthrift when greeting his creditor,
Faces the world with a sneer on his lip.
He must have works like a patent automaton,
Grinding out leaders in regular way,
Tackling all dry correspondence, say from a ton
Up to a truck-load of letters a day.
Then, when the public is terribly down on him,
He can preserve a mechanical grin.
Little he ’ll care if opponents should frown on him;
Wind him up well and he’s certain to win.
Folks too may always be sure of his attitude ;
Springs of cast-steel never vary an inch ;
He ’ll reel off epigram, paragraph, platitude—
Such is an Editor good at a pinch !
Hope for All.
“ Law bless us!” a very natural exclamation when we read in
the Morning Post—
“Mr. E. S. Wright has been appointed to the post of ‘Devil’ to the
Attorney-General.”
The deuce he is I Had Origen lived to see this day, how
delighted he would have been; so also the Poet Burns, who shared
his Origenal opinions. Eh, mon ! just to think that the Devil should
come to be Wright at last! Poor Sir Henry James! A forensic
Faust with a Mephistopheles always at his elbow ! Is Sir Henry
“The Devil’s Advocate”? How, in view of this fact, can Mr.
Brad laugh remain an Adiabolist ?
PUNCH, OH THE LONDON CHAHIVAKI.
191
He might have foreseen it from certain Signs, had his dull Brain but recognised their significance. He thought
’twas but the thrifty Maid bidding Time to pass and leave his cleanly Footsteps over all. Anon he observed further
indications, but heeded not their portent ! And not till its scattered Germs were gathered in full force, and with
A WILD FURY LET LOOSE UPON HIS BED-ROOM—AND FINDING ALL THAT WAS, WAS NOT !—DID HE REALISE THAT HE WAS IN THE
very midst of A SPRING CLEANING ! !
so, as to his thinking the only place in which to get a reelly great
dinner was the Manshun House. Of course I don’t pretend to know
much about how importent matters like these is managed in the
Polly tickle World, but I should think that such rewelashuns as these
would settle the matter at wunse, and shut up the Firth of Forth
like a werry hard frost.
I wish sum of our bitter foes could have herd the Lord Mare’s
speech. Didn’t he tell ’em just all about the Egypshun Champain !
Why there was sum things as he told ’em as even I hadn’t heard on
afore. And what did Lord Garnet Wolsey say in reply, and this
ought to be writ in gold in the memory of every friend of the old
Copperashun, “ I ask for no greater reward, however long I may
live, than that I have received to-day.”
It’s the custom of many unthinking people to laugh at the old
Copperashun because they indulges theirselves and their trends
pretty offen in all the dellycases of horspitality, but the nex time as
any such ungenerous thort comes across what they calls their minds,
let them remember the grand old history of the grand old Coppera-
shun, and let them also remember, that one of the coolest as well as
one of the bravest solgers this great country ever produced not only
said the words quoted above, but also said at Gildhall that werry
same morning, as I herd with my own ears, that the receet of the
Telegram from the Lord Mare and Copperashun immediately after
his great wictory gave him the greatest and most intense pleasure.
And why, because for ages and ages, no great man who has dun
his country good serwice thinks he ’s had his full reward till he’s
made a honnerray freeman of the oldest the richest the charitablest
and the horsepitablest City as is to be found in Urop in Asia in
Africka or in Ameriker. Robert.
The Proprietors of the Illustrated Weekly Papers must have
trembled last Saturday morning when the Daily Telegraph came
out with a couple of Pictures of “No. 1.” If “ Your likeness in
this style ” be frequently repeated, it will be fatal to the existence
of the Police News.
A CAST-IRON EDITOR.
[A Journal, devoted to the cotton, wool, and iron trades, asks if “ someone
will only get up a patent, automatic, self-adjusting, double-backed, cast-iron
Editor ! ”]
Wanted, a double-backed, cast-iron Editor,
One who’s as strong as a full-armoured ship,
Who, like a spendthrift when greeting his creditor,
Faces the world with a sneer on his lip.
He must have works like a patent automaton,
Grinding out leaders in regular way,
Tackling all dry correspondence, say from a ton
Up to a truck-load of letters a day.
Then, when the public is terribly down on him,
He can preserve a mechanical grin.
Little he ’ll care if opponents should frown on him;
Wind him up well and he’s certain to win.
Folks too may always be sure of his attitude ;
Springs of cast-steel never vary an inch ;
He ’ll reel off epigram, paragraph, platitude—
Such is an Editor good at a pinch !
Hope for All.
“ Law bless us!” a very natural exclamation when we read in
the Morning Post—
“Mr. E. S. Wright has been appointed to the post of ‘Devil’ to the
Attorney-General.”
The deuce he is I Had Origen lived to see this day, how
delighted he would have been; so also the Poet Burns, who shared
his Origenal opinions. Eh, mon ! just to think that the Devil should
come to be Wright at last! Poor Sir Henry James! A forensic
Faust with a Mephistopheles always at his elbow ! Is Sir Henry
“The Devil’s Advocate”? How, in view of this fact, can Mr.
Brad laugh remain an Adiabolist ?