Punch: Punch (87.1884)

14

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 12, 1884.

CECIL’S STOCKINGS.

“The Marquis of Salisbury
will lend to the Framework-
Knitters’ Company a pair of hose
worn by Queen Elizabeth for
display in the representation of
Old London at the Health Exhi-
bition.”

Cecil’s stockings! Show of
Health,

Nathless spite of clique and
party,

Strong with this new curious
wealth,

You shall make us hale and
hearty ;

Spite of Science’s soft “psha!”

Spite of Radicalism’s Block-
ings,

You shall strangle Cholera,
Cecil’s Stockings.

They shall tell us from tine
toes

(Though darns here and
there may close them)
What this grateful nation owes

To the race that just now
shows them.

How it served, well, time at j
least,—

That we ’ll gather from the
clockings,

And how some salaams have
creased

Cecil’s Stockings.

But they’ll hint perhaps not !
less

That however mauled and
martyred,

Since the days of Good Queen ;
Bess,

Cecil’s Stockings have been,
gartered.

And, despite the ages dim,

Their revulsions and their
rockings,

They stand just the same
height in
Cecil’s Stockings.

PUNCH'S FANCY PORTRAJTS.-MO. 180.

HIS GRACE THE DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM, G.C.S.I.

“My Liege, the Duke of Buckingham is Taken”-

By Our Artist.

THE HOUSE BOATIFUL.

To che amphibious and
others we commend the fol-
lowing Advertisement from
the Times:—

HOUSE BOAT, Furnished,
FOR SALE, 70ft. long, 10
or 12 beds, detached kitchen, water
laid on. Has crossed the Channel.
Apply to view Mr. Jones. Terms
from Owner.

What, we want to know, is j
the use of a “detached kitchen':-’' !
Supposing you happen to be
at Marlow, and your kitchen
at Bray, how will you be able
to cook your dinner ? Eh ?
We should have thought an
attached kitchen would have
been more useful. Again,—
What do you want with “water
laid on ” on the Thames ? Who
collects the water-rates ? If
you don’t pay, do they put in
water - bailiffs Y And why
should yon “Apply to view
Mr. Jones?” Who wants to
view Mr. Jones, or Mr. Brown,
or Mr. Robinson either, for
the matter of that ?

Very Strange.—The sup-
plement to the Cambridge
Chronicle, after giving the
names of the “Junior Ops.,”
had one significant line under
the heading

“Women.—Wranglers. None.”

An Old Bachelor (of Arts) ex-
claims, “ Is that possible P”

No Water! White Ducks
re-appearing in Rotten Row,
Couple of pair (Count d’Or say
type, Old Style, with white
straps) lately seen careering
in the Park.

LORDS OF CREATION.

(The Very Latest.)

In the House of Lords yesterday afternoon, long before the
customary hour of Four o’Clock, it became evident from the presence
of the large but well-behaved crowd that thronged every conceivable
portion of the building allotted to strangers, that the public excite-
ment attaching to the First Sitting of the newly-reformed Upper
Chamber had in no way abated. The expectation that the fusion of
Lord Rosebery’s “Artistic Expansion Scheme” with the Duke of
Marlborough’s sweeping “Radical Counterpoise Measure” would
in its practical working produce some curious results was fully
justified by the event.

On the Lord Chancellor taking his seat upon the Woolsack, which
had for some time previous been occupied, much to the diversion of
his numerous friends in the Gallery, by Lord Toole,

The Earl of Melbury Road introduced his Popular Peerage Per-
manency Bill. After some discursive remarks on the “ social posi-
tion of the painter,” whose presence, he maintained, lent lustre to
that assembly, he briefly detailed the points of the measure, the prin-
ciple of which, namely, the sticking to their titles now they had got
them {laughter), he said, was simple enough. He and his brand-new
brother Peers, though created for a special political purpose, had
been created merely for the term of their natural lives. That was a
great mistake. It put them at once at a disadvantage with their
“ hereditary brethren.” {Cheers.)

Lord Toole, begging the pardon of the Noble Earl for interrupt-
ing him, said that was so. He had had practical experience of the
fact, as he was coming down to the House that very afternoon in an
open barouche, drawn by four high-stepping hays, and wearing not
only his mantle and coronet, but also a pair of striking snow-white
new gloves purchased for the occasion—{cheers and counter-cheers),—
and, in short, doing the whole thing in a style, he might say, calcu-

lated to lend dignity and influence to his exalted legislative position—
(“ Hear ! ”)—a nasty little hoy at the corner of King William Street,
who refused to give his name and address, shouted out quite loud,
after him, “ Yah ! look at the new Life Peer. Ain’t he just a goin’
it! ” {Laughter.) Their Lordships might laugh, but he wouldMeli
them a Nobleman was a Nobleman, and had the feelings of a Noble-
man—it didn’t matter how you made him—(“ Hear ! ”),—and he who
had done leading business all his life wasn’t going to play second fiddle
to a lot of stuck-up hereditary nobs—(“ Oh, oh ! ”),—who said their
families had come over with the Conqueror—and had probably stayed
behind because they couldn’t afford return-tickets {“Oh, oh.'”)—
Yes, he meant it (“ Order !") If he was going to be subject in that
House to what, excusing the Lord Chancellor’s presence, he could
only term “ baronial sniggering ”—{cheers)—he should throw up his
title, and sell his coronet to the first Apparition King in Macbeth,
who wanted something really showy for five pound ten, and didn’t
mind a roomy fit for his money. {Great cheering.)

The Marquis of Grafton Street said he hoped his old and valued
friend Johnny—he meant Lord Toole—{cheers)—would do nothing
of the sort. As for himself, the generous enthusiasm, the magnificent
welcome with which he had been greeted in their Lordships’ House
had been such, that his heart had gone out to them at once. {Loud
cheers.) He thanked them for those cheers—they made him feel
more strongly than ever that he would never leave them ; and if he
mig-ht be permitted to speak in the name of one fair Baroness now
smiling upon them from above—{loud and prolonged cheers, during
which the Lord Chancellor, standing on the Woolsack to attract
attention, howed repeatedly in the direction of the Peeresses Gallery)
—he would further add that she, no less than himself, gratefully
appreciated a reception that, to whatever legislative and imperial
dignities they might eventually rise, they should both treasure to
the latest moment of their lives. {Great cheering.)

The Duke of Northampton said that, when plain Member for tha