DOI issue:
July 26, 1884
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17757#0054
46
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 26, 1384.
SSEMCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Souse of Commons,
3-day.
Monday, July 14.—Royal Commission in
Lords to-day. Speaker hurried hack with glad news. Amongst
Bills that have weathered the storms of the Session is the Oysters,
Crabs, and Lobsters Bill. Government of London Bill baffled on
Second Reading; Merchant Shipping Bill merely served as peg on
which Chamberlain hung a speech, unanswered and unanswerable ;
Railway Bill fell stillborn; host of other measures have been
throttled. But, calmly, gracefully, irresistibly, Oysters, Crabs, and
Lobsters Bill has pursued its course through both Houses of Parlia-
ment, and to-day Her Gracious Majesty the Queen specially deputed
authority to five Noble Lords to give it her Royal Assent.
Found Christopher in a remote corner of Gallery pretending to
he admiring his gloves. But lip trembled and eye moistened as a
loud cheer broke forth at Speaker’s announcement of passage of Bill.
“A great day this for you, Christopher,” I said, pressing his
hand. “ You’ve won where the Home Secretary has been beaten;
you’ve gained a prize in the field where Chamberlain fails.
Nobody knows what the Bill’s about, but everyone feels sure it is of
elevating character. When you lay down to rest it will always be
with the feeling that in the early morning the hitherto neglected
Crab, the Lobster, and the Oyster will rise up and call you blessed.’’
“ Thanks, Toby,” said Sykes, with a suspicious snuffling. “ Doosed
good to me, you know. Always were. But you’ve no idea the
trouble this Bill’s brought on me. Correspondence enormous. Shall
take a few years’ rest before I begin again. Bill’s spoiled the whole
season for me. At lunch fellows always sending round waiter with
Lobster-salad, consult me on constitution of Crabs, and enter into long
discussions as to why Oysters should be so dear. Worst of it is
not quite sure whether they are in earnest or chaffing. In the mean-
time I loath Lobster-salad, hate the Oyster, and curse the Crab.”
Mar kiss in increasing rave. Wemyss found opportunity of making
himself important. Gives notice to move Resolution to pledge Lords
to pass Franchise Bill with Redistribution to follow in November.
Granville instantly drops on this Motion, and frankly accepts it.
The Mar kiss grinds his teeth at Wemyss, whose Motion he calls
‘‘disorderly,” and glares upon the gentle Granville. Certainly
hard lines for him. After Gladstone’s innocent disclosure at
Foreign Office of terms proposed on eve of Division on Second Read-
ing of Franchise Bill Salisbury got up row in both Houses to divert
attention from his concealment of the proposal from Party. Then
comes along the judicious Wemyss, who gets all the fat in the fire by
affording Lords opportunity to reconsider their decision, in full know-
ledge of facts. No chance of squaring Wemyss. First opportunity
he’s had since entered House. Not the man to lose it because it
makes things uncomfortable for his Leader.
Business done.—Civil Service Estimates in Commons.
Tuesday.—Wouldn’t, at first sight, be inclined to connect Camp-
bell Bannerman with the late Macbeth. Still they have one
quality in common. The lamented M., when he sat down to dinner,
sometimes saw one person more than met the average eye. To-
night, in Committee on Navy Estimates, Campbell Bannerman
chilled the blood of Peter Rylands, Illingworth, and the few
other Liberals present, by staring with glassy eye at empty Conserva-
tive benches, and talking about “the Right Hon. Gentleman the
Member for Westminster, opposite,” whereas there was not a soul
on the Front Opposition Bench, or on any other on that side of the
House. Yet Campbell Bannerman went on with same glassy stare,
talking about “my Right Hon. Friend opposite,” and the “ admirable
tone in which subject has been discussed by Gentlemen opposite.”
“‘Are you a man?”’ Lady Thomas Macbeth Brasset said,
pulling her colleague’s coat-tails.
“‘Ay,’” said Macbeth Campbell Bannerman,—
“ ‘ And a bold one, that dare look on that
Which might appal the devil.’ ”
Presently W. H. Smith came in, wiping his lips with hack of
hand. Henry Lennox, who had been cruising about all the
evening, crossed the Bar. and safely bore down on the Front Bench ;
that other great Naval Reformer, Admiral Warton, appeared, and
the terror on the Liberal Benches subsided.
The Premier might have followed general example, and stayed
away whilst so trifling a matter as voting a few millions and discus-
sion of Naval Administration going on. But must needs be present.
Seedy on Friday with overwork, but A Day in the Country makes a
man of him. Came back yesterday quite blooming. Met him in
corridor walking along singing
“ The Joiners will | For the Franchise Bill,
Do all they can | And the Grand Old Man.”
“Know that song, Toby?” he said. “It was the motto of the
Joiners in the Great Reform Demonstration at Edinburgh on Satur-
day. Strikes me as being remarkable for its simplicity, its modesty,
its appreciation of individual effort and its heroic resolve. Still,
Joiners all very well, hut my best friend at present moment is the
Markiss.” And he skipped off warbling :
“ The Markiss will I For the Franchise Bill.
Do all he can | And the Grand Old Man.”
Business done.—That which ought to have been done months ago—
Navy Estimates considered.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 26, 1384.
SSEMCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Souse of Commons,
3-day.
Monday, July 14.—Royal Commission in
Lords to-day. Speaker hurried hack with glad news. Amongst
Bills that have weathered the storms of the Session is the Oysters,
Crabs, and Lobsters Bill. Government of London Bill baffled on
Second Reading; Merchant Shipping Bill merely served as peg on
which Chamberlain hung a speech, unanswered and unanswerable ;
Railway Bill fell stillborn; host of other measures have been
throttled. But, calmly, gracefully, irresistibly, Oysters, Crabs, and
Lobsters Bill has pursued its course through both Houses of Parlia-
ment, and to-day Her Gracious Majesty the Queen specially deputed
authority to five Noble Lords to give it her Royal Assent.
Found Christopher in a remote corner of Gallery pretending to
he admiring his gloves. But lip trembled and eye moistened as a
loud cheer broke forth at Speaker’s announcement of passage of Bill.
“A great day this for you, Christopher,” I said, pressing his
hand. “ You’ve won where the Home Secretary has been beaten;
you’ve gained a prize in the field where Chamberlain fails.
Nobody knows what the Bill’s about, but everyone feels sure it is of
elevating character. When you lay down to rest it will always be
with the feeling that in the early morning the hitherto neglected
Crab, the Lobster, and the Oyster will rise up and call you blessed.’’
“ Thanks, Toby,” said Sykes, with a suspicious snuffling. “ Doosed
good to me, you know. Always were. But you’ve no idea the
trouble this Bill’s brought on me. Correspondence enormous. Shall
take a few years’ rest before I begin again. Bill’s spoiled the whole
season for me. At lunch fellows always sending round waiter with
Lobster-salad, consult me on constitution of Crabs, and enter into long
discussions as to why Oysters should be so dear. Worst of it is
not quite sure whether they are in earnest or chaffing. In the mean-
time I loath Lobster-salad, hate the Oyster, and curse the Crab.”
Mar kiss in increasing rave. Wemyss found opportunity of making
himself important. Gives notice to move Resolution to pledge Lords
to pass Franchise Bill with Redistribution to follow in November.
Granville instantly drops on this Motion, and frankly accepts it.
The Mar kiss grinds his teeth at Wemyss, whose Motion he calls
‘‘disorderly,” and glares upon the gentle Granville. Certainly
hard lines for him. After Gladstone’s innocent disclosure at
Foreign Office of terms proposed on eve of Division on Second Read-
ing of Franchise Bill Salisbury got up row in both Houses to divert
attention from his concealment of the proposal from Party. Then
comes along the judicious Wemyss, who gets all the fat in the fire by
affording Lords opportunity to reconsider their decision, in full know-
ledge of facts. No chance of squaring Wemyss. First opportunity
he’s had since entered House. Not the man to lose it because it
makes things uncomfortable for his Leader.
Business done.—Civil Service Estimates in Commons.
Tuesday.—Wouldn’t, at first sight, be inclined to connect Camp-
bell Bannerman with the late Macbeth. Still they have one
quality in common. The lamented M., when he sat down to dinner,
sometimes saw one person more than met the average eye. To-
night, in Committee on Navy Estimates, Campbell Bannerman
chilled the blood of Peter Rylands, Illingworth, and the few
other Liberals present, by staring with glassy eye at empty Conserva-
tive benches, and talking about “the Right Hon. Gentleman the
Member for Westminster, opposite,” whereas there was not a soul
on the Front Opposition Bench, or on any other on that side of the
House. Yet Campbell Bannerman went on with same glassy stare,
talking about “my Right Hon. Friend opposite,” and the “ admirable
tone in which subject has been discussed by Gentlemen opposite.”
“‘Are you a man?”’ Lady Thomas Macbeth Brasset said,
pulling her colleague’s coat-tails.
“‘Ay,’” said Macbeth Campbell Bannerman,—
“ ‘ And a bold one, that dare look on that
Which might appal the devil.’ ”
Presently W. H. Smith came in, wiping his lips with hack of
hand. Henry Lennox, who had been cruising about all the
evening, crossed the Bar. and safely bore down on the Front Bench ;
that other great Naval Reformer, Admiral Warton, appeared, and
the terror on the Liberal Benches subsided.
The Premier might have followed general example, and stayed
away whilst so trifling a matter as voting a few millions and discus-
sion of Naval Administration going on. But must needs be present.
Seedy on Friday with overwork, but A Day in the Country makes a
man of him. Came back yesterday quite blooming. Met him in
corridor walking along singing
“ The Joiners will | For the Franchise Bill,
Do all they can | And the Grand Old Man.”
“Know that song, Toby?” he said. “It was the motto of the
Joiners in the Great Reform Demonstration at Edinburgh on Satur-
day. Strikes me as being remarkable for its simplicity, its modesty,
its appreciation of individual effort and its heroic resolve. Still,
Joiners all very well, hut my best friend at present moment is the
Markiss.” And he skipped off warbling :
“ The Markiss will I For the Franchise Bill.
Do all he can | And the Grand Old Man.”
Business done.—That which ought to have been done months ago—
Navy Estimates considered.