DOI issue:
August 9, 1884
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17757#0071
August 9, 1884.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
63
A TRILL FOR THE TWELFTH.
Inscribed to the Faithful Commons.
With clear blue sky and the purple Leather,
And amber and brown of the mountain stream,
You gaze entranced and you wonder whether
The days in London were all a dream.
There’s health and life in the moorland breezes,
The doctors will say you inhale ozone;
The bore of the Club no longer teazes,
The bores of the House no longer drone.
The crowded ball and the dreary dinner
Are over, and Fashion decrees a rest
For tired M.P. and for money-spinner,
You seek it here on the mountain breast.
The birds are strong and the dogs are steady,
You tackle the hills with a keen delight;
With eye that’s keen and a hand that’s ready,
And many the birds that fall ere night.
You voted late and you voted early,
You stuck to the Whips when they kept a House
But now you ’re out of the hurly-burly,
May Fate reward you with endless grouse.
Fifty Years Since.
Oh Friday last the Prince of Wales presided at a
Meeting held in the Guildhall to celebrate the Jubilee of
the Abolition of Slavery in the British Colonies. And
fifty years hence they will probably be celebrating the
abolition of something which is considered to-day (as
Slavery was then) a buttress of Commerce and a Prop of
the State. Verhum sap. !
Hard Work.—In the Borough of Ramsgate they send
round a “ demand note,” informing the ratepayers that—
“ The Collector of the Mayor, Aldermen, and Burgesses. &C.,
&c., demands payment,” &c., &c.
(Signed) “ R. M. Dunt, Collector.”
What work Mr. Dunt must have, if, besides being
Collector of Rates and Taxes, he is also the Collector of
Mayors, Aldermen, and Burgesses ! How does he do it ?
And Our Correspondent who sends this, replies, “I dunt
know.”
ON THE MART.”
First Speculator. “Pekin Turnpikes Second Mortgage Bonds! What did
YOU CLEAR BY THEM ?”
Second Ditto. “ My Pockets ! ”
“ ROBERT ” IN HYDE PARK AGAIN.
Having so thoroughly injoyd my day’s outing in High Park on
Monday, I was quite reddy to accep the frendly inwitashun of a old
frend who is a Baker, and therefore of coarse a Conserwatif, to
acumpany him there on Saturday. Why all Taylers and Shu makers
is Liberals, and all Bakers conserwatifs, is won of them missterrys
as this fellah dont understand. Brown says as Bakers all considers
thereselves as conected with the landed Hairystockracy, by their
flowery perfession, and so natrally gives thereselves hairs acord-
ingly, and is all Conserwatifs acordingly. Be that as it may, having
conected myself with the Liberal Deemonstrashun on Munday, I
coud not, as a consistent Waiter, refuse to jine the other party on
Saturday, for we Waiters ain’t of not no pollytics; we likes Conser-
watffs wen they supports old ways and old hinstitushons, and we
likes Liberals when they ’re liberal to us pore Waiters.
We was quite a seleck party on Saturday, quite quiet and genteel,
we hadn’t no bands, and coaches and four, and banners, and mobs of
peeple, and if my frendly Baker hadn’t told me as it was a Counter
Deemonstration, I should never a guessed it. Of coarse I expected
to see hundreds and thousands of counter gents in there wite chokers
and black cotes, them as serves behind the counters, and always asks
u wot is the nex little harticle ? ” But no, we was much the same
sort as the Mundayers, but littler in numbers, werry much littler.
In fac I don’t think as we ever reached as high as 500, and wen our
Cheerman arrived, the great Mr. Stokes, who has such a remarkable
fine memory, there was scarce \ that number.
I natrally asked my friend and Baker how he accounted for this
striking fac, wen he said as his Party cared more for quality than
for quontity, and these was all like the wery finest Whites as com-
pared with the werry grayest of Seconds, and besides, he sed, you
earn’t expec much of a counter deemonstration for the matter of a
hundred pound. Thinking that praps he was a touching upon werry
dellercate ground I didn’t continue the subject, but got up closer to
the Cheerman. Weather it was as his speech didn’t please his horid-
ence, or that it was jest a beginning to reign, I don’t know, but he
suttenly wasn’t lissened to with no respect or haw, but was acshully
chaffed by ’em, and wen one owdacious fellah called out ‘ ‘ down with
the Lords ! ” another shouted out, “down with Stokes ! ”
The Cheerman told us as how he had writ to the Ome Seckertary
for a body of police to keep order, and he had kindly sent us two,
and which was quite enuff.
Wen the Cheerman had finished his speech, and moved sumthink,
as he said, but I couldn’t see wot it was, a Mr. Cash, most likely a
Banker by his name, supported him, as he said, tho’ I didn’t see him
do it, and sum imperent fellah moved somethink, as I was told was
quite different, and acshally, as the Chairman said, carried it away
by a large majority. I didn’t understand a word of wot it was all
about, but I have seldom seen a werry small mob of peeple laugh
more artily, and seeing them all laugh of course set me off, and I
laughed away as jolly as any on ’em, till the Baker got quite angry
with me, and sed as I was no better than a sheep in wolf’s clothing,
to cum there as a Conserwatif and then suddenly _ jine the Raddicles.
I tried for sum time in wane to sooth his hinjerd feelinx, but at
length he yielded to reason and a nice glass of hot rum and water at
the fust pub as we~cum to, and so we parted good frends.
And now, having atended both these great pollytickle deemonstra-
tions, and lissened atentively to all that I could manage to hear, and
to a good deal as I couldn’t manage to hunderstand, I don t mmd
confessing as I ain’t not a bit wiser than I was afore, and judging
from wot I herd on both days from them as was about me, i wenly
thinks as there was hundreds if not thousends on ’em, who, if they
had the same onest kander as allers distingwishes an Hed Waiter,
would cum boldly forred and say in the words of the nobel Roman,
“ no more ain’t we! ” Robert.
RHYME BY A RADICAL.
“ Our Peerless England ” ? Bah! Her prospect’s cheerless,
And will not brighten much till she is Peer-less.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
63
A TRILL FOR THE TWELFTH.
Inscribed to the Faithful Commons.
With clear blue sky and the purple Leather,
And amber and brown of the mountain stream,
You gaze entranced and you wonder whether
The days in London were all a dream.
There’s health and life in the moorland breezes,
The doctors will say you inhale ozone;
The bore of the Club no longer teazes,
The bores of the House no longer drone.
The crowded ball and the dreary dinner
Are over, and Fashion decrees a rest
For tired M.P. and for money-spinner,
You seek it here on the mountain breast.
The birds are strong and the dogs are steady,
You tackle the hills with a keen delight;
With eye that’s keen and a hand that’s ready,
And many the birds that fall ere night.
You voted late and you voted early,
You stuck to the Whips when they kept a House
But now you ’re out of the hurly-burly,
May Fate reward you with endless grouse.
Fifty Years Since.
Oh Friday last the Prince of Wales presided at a
Meeting held in the Guildhall to celebrate the Jubilee of
the Abolition of Slavery in the British Colonies. And
fifty years hence they will probably be celebrating the
abolition of something which is considered to-day (as
Slavery was then) a buttress of Commerce and a Prop of
the State. Verhum sap. !
Hard Work.—In the Borough of Ramsgate they send
round a “ demand note,” informing the ratepayers that—
“ The Collector of the Mayor, Aldermen, and Burgesses. &C.,
&c., demands payment,” &c., &c.
(Signed) “ R. M. Dunt, Collector.”
What work Mr. Dunt must have, if, besides being
Collector of Rates and Taxes, he is also the Collector of
Mayors, Aldermen, and Burgesses ! How does he do it ?
And Our Correspondent who sends this, replies, “I dunt
know.”
ON THE MART.”
First Speculator. “Pekin Turnpikes Second Mortgage Bonds! What did
YOU CLEAR BY THEM ?”
Second Ditto. “ My Pockets ! ”
“ ROBERT ” IN HYDE PARK AGAIN.
Having so thoroughly injoyd my day’s outing in High Park on
Monday, I was quite reddy to accep the frendly inwitashun of a old
frend who is a Baker, and therefore of coarse a Conserwatif, to
acumpany him there on Saturday. Why all Taylers and Shu makers
is Liberals, and all Bakers conserwatifs, is won of them missterrys
as this fellah dont understand. Brown says as Bakers all considers
thereselves as conected with the landed Hairystockracy, by their
flowery perfession, and so natrally gives thereselves hairs acord-
ingly, and is all Conserwatifs acordingly. Be that as it may, having
conected myself with the Liberal Deemonstrashun on Munday, I
coud not, as a consistent Waiter, refuse to jine the other party on
Saturday, for we Waiters ain’t of not no pollytics; we likes Conser-
watffs wen they supports old ways and old hinstitushons, and we
likes Liberals when they ’re liberal to us pore Waiters.
We was quite a seleck party on Saturday, quite quiet and genteel,
we hadn’t no bands, and coaches and four, and banners, and mobs of
peeple, and if my frendly Baker hadn’t told me as it was a Counter
Deemonstration, I should never a guessed it. Of coarse I expected
to see hundreds and thousands of counter gents in there wite chokers
and black cotes, them as serves behind the counters, and always asks
u wot is the nex little harticle ? ” But no, we was much the same
sort as the Mundayers, but littler in numbers, werry much littler.
In fac I don’t think as we ever reached as high as 500, and wen our
Cheerman arrived, the great Mr. Stokes, who has such a remarkable
fine memory, there was scarce \ that number.
I natrally asked my friend and Baker how he accounted for this
striking fac, wen he said as his Party cared more for quality than
for quontity, and these was all like the wery finest Whites as com-
pared with the werry grayest of Seconds, and besides, he sed, you
earn’t expec much of a counter deemonstration for the matter of a
hundred pound. Thinking that praps he was a touching upon werry
dellercate ground I didn’t continue the subject, but got up closer to
the Cheerman. Weather it was as his speech didn’t please his horid-
ence, or that it was jest a beginning to reign, I don’t know, but he
suttenly wasn’t lissened to with no respect or haw, but was acshully
chaffed by ’em, and wen one owdacious fellah called out ‘ ‘ down with
the Lords ! ” another shouted out, “down with Stokes ! ”
The Cheerman told us as how he had writ to the Ome Seckertary
for a body of police to keep order, and he had kindly sent us two,
and which was quite enuff.
Wen the Cheerman had finished his speech, and moved sumthink,
as he said, but I couldn’t see wot it was, a Mr. Cash, most likely a
Banker by his name, supported him, as he said, tho’ I didn’t see him
do it, and sum imperent fellah moved somethink, as I was told was
quite different, and acshally, as the Chairman said, carried it away
by a large majority. I didn’t understand a word of wot it was all
about, but I have seldom seen a werry small mob of peeple laugh
more artily, and seeing them all laugh of course set me off, and I
laughed away as jolly as any on ’em, till the Baker got quite angry
with me, and sed as I was no better than a sheep in wolf’s clothing,
to cum there as a Conserwatif and then suddenly _ jine the Raddicles.
I tried for sum time in wane to sooth his hinjerd feelinx, but at
length he yielded to reason and a nice glass of hot rum and water at
the fust pub as we~cum to, and so we parted good frends.
And now, having atended both these great pollytickle deemonstra-
tions, and lissened atentively to all that I could manage to hear, and
to a good deal as I couldn’t manage to hunderstand, I don t mmd
confessing as I ain’t not a bit wiser than I was afore, and judging
from wot I herd on both days from them as was about me, i wenly
thinks as there was hundreds if not thousends on ’em, who, if they
had the same onest kander as allers distingwishes an Hed Waiter,
would cum boldly forred and say in the words of the nobel Roman,
“ no more ain’t we! ” Robert.
RHYME BY A RADICAL.
“ Our Peerless England ” ? Bah! Her prospect’s cheerless,
And will not brighten much till she is Peer-less.