DOI Heft:
September 6, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17757#0117
110
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 6. 1884.
Sabbath.—Went to kirk in Edinburgh. Rosebery says proper
thing to do is to go to Morning Service, take oatmeal-cake and. slice
of strongly-flavoured cheese to munch in interval succeeding on
Morning Service, and so be in good time for the Afternoon. We did
this, and spent very pleasant day. Morning sermon one hour and
twenty minutes. Afternoon discourse a little shorter, only seventy
minutes. Notice pervading smell of peppermint. Old Lady in pew
behind presses lozenge on my acceptance, which I surreptitiously
place in the inner band of Rosebery’s hat. Interesting to watch R.
when we leave, putting on his hat, taking it off, looking inside, find-
i ing nothing, and putting it on, with troubled brow. “Anything
wrong ?” I ask. “ No,” he says; “ only fancied I’d got wrong hat.”
Strange how these little incidents cheer one in midst of serious
business of life!
Monday.—Tried on my new kilt this morning. Fits admirably,
and am told I look well in it, though regarded as a costume it is a
little draughty. Ordered it specially for Braemar, where I go on
from here. Not sure I shan’t take a hand in the games myself.
Practising putting the stone this morning. After third throw, I put
it in the vinery, where I’m afraid it did a little damage, though
Rosebery says not. Rather makes out that he likes his guests to
heave half a brick into his glass houses, and spoil his grapes.
Wouldn’t think visit had gone off well without it. But that is his
politeness. Sorry about the vinery, though couldn’t be helped.
Shall go on practising. Hope, by time I reach Braemar, shall be
[ a little more certain that, when I “put” a stone in a particular
| place it doesn’t turn up elsewhere.
Another great meeting to-night. Gave ’em nearly two hours, and
they wanted more. Same old difficulty. Listen impatiently to
arguments about the Franchise Bill. Want to be at the Lords.
Getting a little forrader in that direction myself. Always was open
to conviction. Don’t know that, if I were forced to it, I wouldn’t
undertake to regard House of Lords as extra branch of the Upas
tree. Worst of it is, nobody would like this better than the Markiss.
Would any day give his left hand to be back in the Commons.
Says Pussy is the only being that makes House of Lords inhabitable
for him. Now and then Pussy, gently purring, quickly strikes out,
and gives him invigorating scratch. But, for rest, there’s not a
man worth quarrelling with. Longs to breathe again the invigorat-
ing air of the House of Commons. Well, perhaps he shall. Mean-
while I ’ll just have a run round the park, and then to bed.
PjitrjT O'fouic tkim.
Eh ? dead at Eighty-nine F A ripe old age.
Dear Tenderer of many a learned page
Into the—rather dryasdust—vernacular;
True source of many an utterance oracular
From many a pseudo-pundit, who scarce owns
To wandering in that valley of dry Bohns.
Thousands should thank thee who will hardly do so—
In public! From Catullus down to Crusoe,
From Plato, Xenophon, and Aristotle deep,
To Goethe, Schlegel, Schiller we drink pottle-deep
Of Learning’s fount from thy translated tap !
And what though o’er it one may nod and nap ?
’Tis wholesome, if not sparkling, with sound body,
If not the glint of true Pierian toddy.
Gone from thy roses underneath the daisies,
We echo Emersonian thanks and praises.
And say (Pundits make puns, and sometimes own ’em),
“ Vale ! De mortuis nil nisi Bo{h)num ! ”
Not all G. A. S.—According to one of the staunchest and dearest
of his friends, Mr. Punch has “ now got his white kid gloves on, and
has scented his handkerchief with Jockey Club.” Long ago Thack-
eray gave Mr. Punch a white waistcoat, and (to revive a tine old
crusted joke) these latest additions to his toilette only prove him to
be a man of scents and a person of stable mind.
THOROUGH!
Mamma. “ With this frightful Hot Weather, I think I must have that Child’s Hair cut ! ”
Tommy. “Oh yes, Ma !—and, look here—I should like to have it done by the same Hairdresser that cuts Uncle
Benjamin’s ! ”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 6. 1884.
Sabbath.—Went to kirk in Edinburgh. Rosebery says proper
thing to do is to go to Morning Service, take oatmeal-cake and. slice
of strongly-flavoured cheese to munch in interval succeeding on
Morning Service, and so be in good time for the Afternoon. We did
this, and spent very pleasant day. Morning sermon one hour and
twenty minutes. Afternoon discourse a little shorter, only seventy
minutes. Notice pervading smell of peppermint. Old Lady in pew
behind presses lozenge on my acceptance, which I surreptitiously
place in the inner band of Rosebery’s hat. Interesting to watch R.
when we leave, putting on his hat, taking it off, looking inside, find-
i ing nothing, and putting it on, with troubled brow. “Anything
wrong ?” I ask. “ No,” he says; “ only fancied I’d got wrong hat.”
Strange how these little incidents cheer one in midst of serious
business of life!
Monday.—Tried on my new kilt this morning. Fits admirably,
and am told I look well in it, though regarded as a costume it is a
little draughty. Ordered it specially for Braemar, where I go on
from here. Not sure I shan’t take a hand in the games myself.
Practising putting the stone this morning. After third throw, I put
it in the vinery, where I’m afraid it did a little damage, though
Rosebery says not. Rather makes out that he likes his guests to
heave half a brick into his glass houses, and spoil his grapes.
Wouldn’t think visit had gone off well without it. But that is his
politeness. Sorry about the vinery, though couldn’t be helped.
Shall go on practising. Hope, by time I reach Braemar, shall be
[ a little more certain that, when I “put” a stone in a particular
| place it doesn’t turn up elsewhere.
Another great meeting to-night. Gave ’em nearly two hours, and
they wanted more. Same old difficulty. Listen impatiently to
arguments about the Franchise Bill. Want to be at the Lords.
Getting a little forrader in that direction myself. Always was open
to conviction. Don’t know that, if I were forced to it, I wouldn’t
undertake to regard House of Lords as extra branch of the Upas
tree. Worst of it is, nobody would like this better than the Markiss.
Would any day give his left hand to be back in the Commons.
Says Pussy is the only being that makes House of Lords inhabitable
for him. Now and then Pussy, gently purring, quickly strikes out,
and gives him invigorating scratch. But, for rest, there’s not a
man worth quarrelling with. Longs to breathe again the invigorat-
ing air of the House of Commons. Well, perhaps he shall. Mean-
while I ’ll just have a run round the park, and then to bed.
PjitrjT O'fouic tkim.
Eh ? dead at Eighty-nine F A ripe old age.
Dear Tenderer of many a learned page
Into the—rather dryasdust—vernacular;
True source of many an utterance oracular
From many a pseudo-pundit, who scarce owns
To wandering in that valley of dry Bohns.
Thousands should thank thee who will hardly do so—
In public! From Catullus down to Crusoe,
From Plato, Xenophon, and Aristotle deep,
To Goethe, Schlegel, Schiller we drink pottle-deep
Of Learning’s fount from thy translated tap !
And what though o’er it one may nod and nap ?
’Tis wholesome, if not sparkling, with sound body,
If not the glint of true Pierian toddy.
Gone from thy roses underneath the daisies,
We echo Emersonian thanks and praises.
And say (Pundits make puns, and sometimes own ’em),
“ Vale ! De mortuis nil nisi Bo{h)num ! ”
Not all G. A. S.—According to one of the staunchest and dearest
of his friends, Mr. Punch has “ now got his white kid gloves on, and
has scented his handkerchief with Jockey Club.” Long ago Thack-
eray gave Mr. Punch a white waistcoat, and (to revive a tine old
crusted joke) these latest additions to his toilette only prove him to
be a man of scents and a person of stable mind.
THOROUGH!
Mamma. “ With this frightful Hot Weather, I think I must have that Child’s Hair cut ! ”
Tommy. “Oh yes, Ma !—and, look here—I should like to have it done by the same Hairdresser that cuts Uncle
Benjamin’s ! ”