Punch: Punch (87.1884)

September 13, 1884.] PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 123

THE VERY OLD SOLDIER.”

The Ever-lusy B. (considering). “ Why not another Conference? Good! Conducted this Time in our own beautiful
Tongue. Bettes ! ! And as John Bull is too interested in his Domestic Affairs to think of anything else—hem !—we

SHALL HAVE TO MEET WITHOUT HIM! BEST ! ! ! ”

UNCERTAIN SEPTEMBER.

“ Quite the hottest Season ! ” But none, I’m afraid,
Now grumble with reason at heat in the shade ;

Though tailors contrive coats of gossamer make,

And snowy white waistcoats,—they don’t seem to take :
At night you must carefully wrap up your throat—
You ’re sure to catch cold if you’ve not a Great-Coat!
We ’re dull and lymphatic and quite out of joint,

It makes us rheumatic this Nor’-East point;

We’re hipped altogether. But, still, may I ask,

When ’ll come again weather in which we can bask ?
You ’ll find that your chance of enjoyment’s remote,
If you go out this Autumn without a Great-Coat!

Fashionable Intelligence.—11 Not in To wn!:

“ De Goostibus non est- Disputandum.”

_ The papers give an account of a Goose ‘ ‘ that must have been
eighty years old at the time of its death last year.” Now is this
anything remarkable Y We have known several geese over eighty,
we have met many geese over fifty, we have seen hundreds of geese
over thirty, and geese of twenty are innumerable. There now!

THE BETTER PART OP VALOUR.

Retreats, for poor drunkards, make progress, if slow,
The Inspector reports. Dipsomaniacs know
How “ retirement ” the dreadful Drink-demon defeats,
So we ’U wish a far faster Advance to Retreats !

Improved Proverbial Phrase for a Prominent Peer.—“ Black
as my Hatfield ! ”