DOI Heft:
September 20, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17757#0151
PUNCH,
LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 20, 1834,
SANITARY DRESS REFORMERS, PLEASE COPY!
Appropriate Mountaineering Costume, sketched from
the Life in North Wales.
of the time of Charlemagne, and a bric-a-brac Loving Cup of the
time of the Great Napoleon, and a Soup Tureen of the period of
Heliogabalus, which it is hoped he will present, on his return, to the
celebrated Mansion House collection of priceless but useful works of
Art. It is expected that he will spend at least two days in Holland
and Belgium, on his way home, so as to make a profound and ex-
haustive study of the Municipalities of the Middle Ages.
When his Lordship has had time to inwardly digest the mass of
information he has thus personally obtained, it is said to be his in-
tention to draw a Bill—a process to which, as an eminent Banker,
he is of course quite accustomed—and to produce it for the accept-
ance of the House of Commons, in competition with that of the
Home Secretary.
PRACTICAL THOUGHT-READING.
Thought-Readers are getting as plentiful as gooseberries in July,
or oranges in November. A Mr. James Edwyns advertises what he
calls an “ Extraordinary Novelty ” at the Crystal Palace. He says:—
“A murder tableau will be devised and enacted by some of the Committee
during Mr. Edwyns’ absence in custody of others of the audience, and
Mr. Edwyns, blindfolded, will endeavour to reproduce the whole by contact
with a witness of the scene.”
This is indeed a sensation! Pin-finding and “ murder tableaux ”
are doubtless amusing and impressive. But if Mr. Edwyns would
do something practical in the way of prophecy,—if he could state
the price of a certain Stock at a given date,—he would make a large
fortune for himself, and become the most popular man in the world.
Education Extraordinary.
We read the following Advertisement in the Times :—
EDUCATION.—The DELEGACY can take 20 more SCHOOLS in
London, and 12 at Brighton, and place at these, and in private families,
20 Indian and Colonial children, and 10 wards.—Address, &c.
It strikes us the “Delegacy”'—whatever that maybe—is some-
what extravagant. It wishes to take thirty-two Schools in all; it
appears to have thirty children in want of education. So it has a
school a-piece for each child, and two schools to spare. Even in these
days of luxurious education, the “Delegacy” seems to be bringing
up its young friends in almost regal fashion, and, perhaps, giving
I them all every “ Delegacy ” of the Season.
VOLUNTARY
CONTRIBUTIONS
RECEIVED.
THANKFULLY
[Samples from the Editor s Box in September.)
AN OBSCUEE ALLUSION.
Sir,—In a speech delivered the other day by our County Member
occur the following words :—“ Palmam qui meruit ferat." Will you
kindly explain their meaning to me, as otherwise I can make no sense
of the context, and am unable to confute their utterer on several intri-
cate questions of domestic legislation in which I feel convinced he is-
entirely and totally wrong. Yours truly,
Rolvendon. Modern Education.
A CURIOUS COINCIDENCE.
Sir,—While sojourning in the village of Tyler’s Hill, I came
across, in the Visitors’ Book of the hotel, this statement, “ The beer
is beestlv, F. Smith.” Curiously enough, I was at school in 1839'
with an F. Smith, whom I have not seen since, and the above state-
ment so reminded me of his concise and clear-headed language, and
the spelling of “beestly” so suggested his performances in Dictation
Class, that I feel convinced that the E. Smith of my schooldays and
the F. Smith of the Visitors’ Book are one and the same man. The
coincidence seemed to me so curious that I determined to write this
to you, and its insertion is certain to please many who, like myself,
are always glad to renew old friendships.
Yours very faithfully,
Tenterden Steeple, near Goodwin Sands. Auld Lang Syne.
EXTORTIONATE CHARGES.
Sir,—I have a real grievance to lay before you. I am a man of
sedentary habits, and am most particularly averse to walking exer-
cise, yet tbe other day I was persuaded to ascend Snowdon on
foot. On arrival at the summit, I was naturally thirsty, and
refreshed myself with a bottle of beer. For that I was charged the
enormous price of eighteenpence. Now, in the name of common
sense, do the proprietors of Snowdon think they are going to induce
people to walk five miles up-hill by offering them for eighteenpenca
that which they can purchase at the bottom for sixpence ? I know
one who is not to be thus tempted. Yours indignantly,
Rye Marshes. Anti-Exercise.
THE ORNITHOLOGY OF LONDON.
Sir,—As an old Naturalist, I have read, with very great pleasure,,
the letters that have lately appeared in the daily papers on the-
migration of birds from the Metropolis. I, in common with your
other Correspondents, have noticed the presence, in very large-
quantities, of sparrows in the West-End thoroughfares and Parks..
But judge of my delighted surprise when last Monday, I am
certain as to the date, I saw in London two magnificent specimens
of the golden eagle. I have seen these veritable treasures but once,
and that in, to borrow a nautical phrase, what I may call, the East-
by-East corner of the Regent’s Park. My certainty as to the date on
which I made my discovery is due to the fact that Monday is a
sixpenny day. Yours faithfully,
Cursin Street, W. Chart Sutton.
DRINK IN THE HARVEST FIELDS.
Dear Sir,
The experiences which I, as a farmer of ten seasons’ stand-
ing, am enabled to relate, may prove of some interest to those
of your readers who, like myself, are engaged in agricultural
pursuits. Last year, it may be remembered, Harvest-time was not
marked by any excessive heat. Yet, on my putting the question to
my field-hands, they unanimously answered that they could not
possibly get through their vrork satisfactorily without beer. Accord-
ingly I allowed them as much beer as they could drink. I cannot
say that my system was a success ; indeed, I may attribute to it the
circumstances that only one-third of my harvest wras gathered at
all; that several of my outbuildings were burnt down, owing to my
men going to sleep in them with lighted pipes; that my most
valuable live stock was lamed for life; that a free fight, resulting
in a charge of manslaughter, took place in my glass-houses, to the
detriment of my orchids; and that our Yicar, with decided acri-
mony, not to say conspicuous bad taste, alluded to me in his.
Harvest Sermon as a disgrace to the parish.
This year I adopted a different plan. In my largest copper I
caused to be prepared a beverage, the ingredients of which were as
follows:—1 lb. lime juice; \ lb. tea; | lb. sugar; 2 oz. oatmeal;,
80 gallons spring water.
I am happy to be in a position to state that not one single instance-
of intoxication has arisen from its consumption, nor, despite the-
ahnormal heat of the weather, have my hands drunk it to excess..
For sobriety and economy it has no equal.
Yours, sincerely,
ITopshire, Sept., 1844- Boughtin Malherbe.
LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 20, 1834,
SANITARY DRESS REFORMERS, PLEASE COPY!
Appropriate Mountaineering Costume, sketched from
the Life in North Wales.
of the time of Charlemagne, and a bric-a-brac Loving Cup of the
time of the Great Napoleon, and a Soup Tureen of the period of
Heliogabalus, which it is hoped he will present, on his return, to the
celebrated Mansion House collection of priceless but useful works of
Art. It is expected that he will spend at least two days in Holland
and Belgium, on his way home, so as to make a profound and ex-
haustive study of the Municipalities of the Middle Ages.
When his Lordship has had time to inwardly digest the mass of
information he has thus personally obtained, it is said to be his in-
tention to draw a Bill—a process to which, as an eminent Banker,
he is of course quite accustomed—and to produce it for the accept-
ance of the House of Commons, in competition with that of the
Home Secretary.
PRACTICAL THOUGHT-READING.
Thought-Readers are getting as plentiful as gooseberries in July,
or oranges in November. A Mr. James Edwyns advertises what he
calls an “ Extraordinary Novelty ” at the Crystal Palace. He says:—
“A murder tableau will be devised and enacted by some of the Committee
during Mr. Edwyns’ absence in custody of others of the audience, and
Mr. Edwyns, blindfolded, will endeavour to reproduce the whole by contact
with a witness of the scene.”
This is indeed a sensation! Pin-finding and “ murder tableaux ”
are doubtless amusing and impressive. But if Mr. Edwyns would
do something practical in the way of prophecy,—if he could state
the price of a certain Stock at a given date,—he would make a large
fortune for himself, and become the most popular man in the world.
Education Extraordinary.
We read the following Advertisement in the Times :—
EDUCATION.—The DELEGACY can take 20 more SCHOOLS in
London, and 12 at Brighton, and place at these, and in private families,
20 Indian and Colonial children, and 10 wards.—Address, &c.
It strikes us the “Delegacy”'—whatever that maybe—is some-
what extravagant. It wishes to take thirty-two Schools in all; it
appears to have thirty children in want of education. So it has a
school a-piece for each child, and two schools to spare. Even in these
days of luxurious education, the “Delegacy” seems to be bringing
up its young friends in almost regal fashion, and, perhaps, giving
I them all every “ Delegacy ” of the Season.
VOLUNTARY
CONTRIBUTIONS
RECEIVED.
THANKFULLY
[Samples from the Editor s Box in September.)
AN OBSCUEE ALLUSION.
Sir,—In a speech delivered the other day by our County Member
occur the following words :—“ Palmam qui meruit ferat." Will you
kindly explain their meaning to me, as otherwise I can make no sense
of the context, and am unable to confute their utterer on several intri-
cate questions of domestic legislation in which I feel convinced he is-
entirely and totally wrong. Yours truly,
Rolvendon. Modern Education.
A CURIOUS COINCIDENCE.
Sir,—While sojourning in the village of Tyler’s Hill, I came
across, in the Visitors’ Book of the hotel, this statement, “ The beer
is beestlv, F. Smith.” Curiously enough, I was at school in 1839'
with an F. Smith, whom I have not seen since, and the above state-
ment so reminded me of his concise and clear-headed language, and
the spelling of “beestly” so suggested his performances in Dictation
Class, that I feel convinced that the E. Smith of my schooldays and
the F. Smith of the Visitors’ Book are one and the same man. The
coincidence seemed to me so curious that I determined to write this
to you, and its insertion is certain to please many who, like myself,
are always glad to renew old friendships.
Yours very faithfully,
Tenterden Steeple, near Goodwin Sands. Auld Lang Syne.
EXTORTIONATE CHARGES.
Sir,—I have a real grievance to lay before you. I am a man of
sedentary habits, and am most particularly averse to walking exer-
cise, yet tbe other day I was persuaded to ascend Snowdon on
foot. On arrival at the summit, I was naturally thirsty, and
refreshed myself with a bottle of beer. For that I was charged the
enormous price of eighteenpence. Now, in the name of common
sense, do the proprietors of Snowdon think they are going to induce
people to walk five miles up-hill by offering them for eighteenpenca
that which they can purchase at the bottom for sixpence ? I know
one who is not to be thus tempted. Yours indignantly,
Rye Marshes. Anti-Exercise.
THE ORNITHOLOGY OF LONDON.
Sir,—As an old Naturalist, I have read, with very great pleasure,,
the letters that have lately appeared in the daily papers on the-
migration of birds from the Metropolis. I, in common with your
other Correspondents, have noticed the presence, in very large-
quantities, of sparrows in the West-End thoroughfares and Parks..
But judge of my delighted surprise when last Monday, I am
certain as to the date, I saw in London two magnificent specimens
of the golden eagle. I have seen these veritable treasures but once,
and that in, to borrow a nautical phrase, what I may call, the East-
by-East corner of the Regent’s Park. My certainty as to the date on
which I made my discovery is due to the fact that Monday is a
sixpenny day. Yours faithfully,
Cursin Street, W. Chart Sutton.
DRINK IN THE HARVEST FIELDS.
Dear Sir,
The experiences which I, as a farmer of ten seasons’ stand-
ing, am enabled to relate, may prove of some interest to those
of your readers who, like myself, are engaged in agricultural
pursuits. Last year, it may be remembered, Harvest-time was not
marked by any excessive heat. Yet, on my putting the question to
my field-hands, they unanimously answered that they could not
possibly get through their vrork satisfactorily without beer. Accord-
ingly I allowed them as much beer as they could drink. I cannot
say that my system was a success ; indeed, I may attribute to it the
circumstances that only one-third of my harvest wras gathered at
all; that several of my outbuildings were burnt down, owing to my
men going to sleep in them with lighted pipes; that my most
valuable live stock was lamed for life; that a free fight, resulting
in a charge of manslaughter, took place in my glass-houses, to the
detriment of my orchids; and that our Yicar, with decided acri-
mony, not to say conspicuous bad taste, alluded to me in his.
Harvest Sermon as a disgrace to the parish.
This year I adopted a different plan. In my largest copper I
caused to be prepared a beverage, the ingredients of which were as
follows:—1 lb. lime juice; \ lb. tea; | lb. sugar; 2 oz. oatmeal;,
80 gallons spring water.
I am happy to be in a position to state that not one single instance-
of intoxication has arisen from its consumption, nor, despite the-
ahnormal heat of the weather, have my hands drunk it to excess..
For sobriety and economy it has no equal.
Yours, sincerely,
ITopshire, Sept., 1844- Boughtin Malherbe.