DOI Heft:
November 22, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17757#0259
252 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 22, 1884,
himself and made few incoherent observations. But House begins to
think a little of Toots goes a long way. Hot so interesting as when
he was fresher. ,
“Hot quite fair this of Birkenhead,” said Caine, with gigantic
yawn. “ Believe it 7s got a Parliamentary Debating Society. Why
doesn’t it have Toots down there now and then, ana relieve us to
that extent P If Birkenhead saw a little more of Toots, we should
presently see a great deal less.”
Vote for Relief Expedition on, also for new little war in Bechuana-
land. Great opportunity for George Campbell, Ashmead-Bartlett,
Gregoky, Warton, and Tomlinson. Stanley Leighton also up,
which is a kind thing to do when Mr. Toots has been on his legs.
Always raises question as to which of these eminent men is more
i remarkable for clearness of view, and coherency of speech.
Seven hours of this kind of thing goes a long way towards kilim?
a dog, however seasoned. Fancy I must have looked bad, as Cameron
! came over to where I was huddled up in corner, under the Gallery,
and wanted to prescribe for me.
“After night like this, Toby,” says he, “you should seek an
antidote. Go into lively company, or pick up entertaining work, and
The House in Committee of Supply. Sending Round the Hat.
forget yourself in its pages. Seen my last pamphlet, How to Meet
the Microbe, price one shilling ? ”
“Ho,” I said, wearily. “ Don’t want to meet the Microbe.”
Cameron—well-meaning fellow—a little hurt. But who could
help being querulous on night like this ? There’s Sir George
Campbell up again. Think, after all, I ’ll go to meet the Microbe.
Don’t know what it is, but I’ve tried this. (By the way not bad
notion for an “At Home” card or invitation to dinner, “ To meet
the Microbe.")
Business done.—All Votes in Supply passed.
Friday.—House of Lords not sitting to-night. Several nights last
week didn’t sit, and still the world goes round. Mentioned this
remarkable fact to Chamberlain.
“ Yes,” said he, “ we are just trying the experiment. Get Gran-
ville to move Adjournment over two or ihree days. He does it
quite unsuspectingly. As for Lords, cheerful as schoolboys at
getting a holiday. But no use hiding from you that all this
arranged in the Caucus, where we settle so much else. It was
Schnadhorst’s notion, ‘Let us,’ says he, ‘ graduallv accustom
public mind to only one Legislative Chamber sitting, and we ’ll soon
pave way to total abolition of Lords.’ I suppose Chaplin, or
Ashme ad -Bartlett, or MacIver, will be discovering our scheme
soon. Meantime, mischief done.”
More in Schnadhorst than meets the eye.
Business done. — Commons passed Resolution for legislation on
behalf of Skye Crofters.
Humorous and Costumerous.
There has been a good deal of correspondence on the reform of
Ladies’ dress in the Pall Mall Gazette lately, and we read with
surprise in an article on “ Autumn and Winter Fashions,” in the
aforesaid journal, the following startling intelligence :—
“The evening dresses for young Ladies are short, and mostly made of a
combination of plush, and brocaded silk or satin, and lace.”
This information will, we imagine, he equally astounding both to
the old-fashioned petticoaterie and the new-fangled divided skirtists.
We wonder what next ?
COUNTING THEIR CHICKENS.
Scene—A Secret Council-chamber in the neighbourhood of Arlington
Street. Conservative Leaders assembled.
Lord S-l-sb-ry. Yes, there’s no doubt about it, the country is
with us to a man. If you’d seen the enthusiasm on the railway
platform at Glasgow, Staffy, you’d never have forgotten it. Had
my coat pulled off my back, and-
Enter a Messenger, with news of the Scarborough Election.
Lord S-l-sb-ry with difficulty conceals his emotion, and goes
on--
And, as I was saying, perhaps, as the country is so entirely with
us, you know, it would be only kind to our opponents to—er—
compromise the affair !
Sir St-jf-rd N-rthc-te (cheering up). Decidedly.
Luke of It. and G. After this Scarborough disaster, there’s no
other course open to us.
i Another Messenger enters, with news of the South Warwickshire
Election.
Lord S-l-sb-ry (leaving paper wildly in air). Eleven hundred
; majority ! Hurrah! Down with Gladstone ! We must force him
to dissolve, at all costs. The farmers are our friends ; bad seasons
make good Tories. My advice is, reject the Bill over and over again !
Lord Lt-nd-lph Ch-rch-U. Right you are ! “I was ever a lighter,
so one light more, The best and the last! as Browning writes. I
say, am I to be Home Secretary, or what? And keep a place for
poor old Wolef, will yon? He’d do uncommonly well as Under-
secretary for the Colonies, or something of that sort.
Sir St-ff-rd N-rthc-te. I suppose Chaplin will do if we make a
Minister of Agriculture. Lowther is just cut out for a judicious
Foreign Secretary, and Ecroyd is a horn President of the Board of
Trade. There you are ! And you’d like Gorst to be Attorney ?
Lord Lt-nd-lph Ch-rch-ll. Hever ! Gorst is a craven. Presumed
to counsel a compromise without consulting me ! Obliged, with
tears in my eyes, to chuck him overboard.
Earl C-rns. Well, ta-ta! Last time I sat on the Woolsack, I found
it a trifle hard. Just going to order it to be restuffed-
Lord Lt-nd-lph Ch-rch-ll. I’m off to call at Home Office, and
choose my private rooms. Ta-ta ! aH of you. Will meet again in
Downing Street! [Exeunt omnes.
SKEGGISM IN SKYE.
To the simple unofficial mind it would seem that the case of the
“ crofters and cottars in the Highlands and islands of Scotland” is
about ripe for settlement. But as Miss Carolina Wilhelmina
Amelia Skeggs observed/1 there is a form in these things,—there is a
form.” To examine an alleged grievance carefully, and deal with it
equitably and promptly, may commend itself to the ordinary, but not
to the official or Skeggsian judgment. The “form” must be
observed. And what Is the “form?” Well, it is usually so com-
plex and prolix as to be difficult of full analysis. But given a
grievance—like that of the Irish tenants any time within the last
century, or the Scotch Crofters now—there are heaps of things to be
done before it can be righted.
In the first place it must be ignored altogether until its assertion
becomes too palpable to overlook. Then it must be pooh-poohed.
When it enlists public sympathy as well as attracts public notice, it
must be “inquired into,”—by the long-drawn process of a Commis-
sion, for choice. Whilst the Commission is sitting—or standing, or
travelling, or whatever it chooses to do - things of course must be
kept in abeyance, inopportune inquiry snubbed, friendly urgency
denounced, protest protested against, any impatient action on the
part of the sufferers sharply put down, in the interest of “ law.and
order.” The Commission takes its time— all Commissions do.
Ultimately, however, it issues its “Report.” And there matters
stop, until the sufferers, or their advocates, make another stir. If
that stir is mild, it is not noticed ; if it is vigorous, it is denounced
as violent; if it is violent, the Law is down upon it. unless-—well,
unless it is very, very violent, largely and formidably so, and then
the fire begins to burn the stick, the stick begins to beat the dog, tbe
dog to bite the pig, the pig to get over the stile, and the Old Woman
gets home, or, in other words, the grievance gets redressed. This—
very briefly summarised indeed—is the official Skeggsian “ form.” |
It is open to some objection, such as waste of time, prolongation of
suffering, provocation of crime, engendering of hatred, killing of
gratitude in the bud, and final compulsory pushing off reform till it
savours of revolution, redress until it shows like surrender.
Without prejudging the case of these poor Crofters, is it too much
to hope that, in dealing with it, the Skeggsian “ form,” of which we
have already had so many disastrous and expensive examples, will
not be adopted ?
himself and made few incoherent observations. But House begins to
think a little of Toots goes a long way. Hot so interesting as when
he was fresher. ,
“Hot quite fair this of Birkenhead,” said Caine, with gigantic
yawn. “ Believe it 7s got a Parliamentary Debating Society. Why
doesn’t it have Toots down there now and then, ana relieve us to
that extent P If Birkenhead saw a little more of Toots, we should
presently see a great deal less.”
Vote for Relief Expedition on, also for new little war in Bechuana-
land. Great opportunity for George Campbell, Ashmead-Bartlett,
Gregoky, Warton, and Tomlinson. Stanley Leighton also up,
which is a kind thing to do when Mr. Toots has been on his legs.
Always raises question as to which of these eminent men is more
i remarkable for clearness of view, and coherency of speech.
Seven hours of this kind of thing goes a long way towards kilim?
a dog, however seasoned. Fancy I must have looked bad, as Cameron
! came over to where I was huddled up in corner, under the Gallery,
and wanted to prescribe for me.
“After night like this, Toby,” says he, “you should seek an
antidote. Go into lively company, or pick up entertaining work, and
The House in Committee of Supply. Sending Round the Hat.
forget yourself in its pages. Seen my last pamphlet, How to Meet
the Microbe, price one shilling ? ”
“Ho,” I said, wearily. “ Don’t want to meet the Microbe.”
Cameron—well-meaning fellow—a little hurt. But who could
help being querulous on night like this ? There’s Sir George
Campbell up again. Think, after all, I ’ll go to meet the Microbe.
Don’t know what it is, but I’ve tried this. (By the way not bad
notion for an “At Home” card or invitation to dinner, “ To meet
the Microbe.")
Business done.—All Votes in Supply passed.
Friday.—House of Lords not sitting to-night. Several nights last
week didn’t sit, and still the world goes round. Mentioned this
remarkable fact to Chamberlain.
“ Yes,” said he, “ we are just trying the experiment. Get Gran-
ville to move Adjournment over two or ihree days. He does it
quite unsuspectingly. As for Lords, cheerful as schoolboys at
getting a holiday. But no use hiding from you that all this
arranged in the Caucus, where we settle so much else. It was
Schnadhorst’s notion, ‘Let us,’ says he, ‘ graduallv accustom
public mind to only one Legislative Chamber sitting, and we ’ll soon
pave way to total abolition of Lords.’ I suppose Chaplin, or
Ashme ad -Bartlett, or MacIver, will be discovering our scheme
soon. Meantime, mischief done.”
More in Schnadhorst than meets the eye.
Business done. — Commons passed Resolution for legislation on
behalf of Skye Crofters.
Humorous and Costumerous.
There has been a good deal of correspondence on the reform of
Ladies’ dress in the Pall Mall Gazette lately, and we read with
surprise in an article on “ Autumn and Winter Fashions,” in the
aforesaid journal, the following startling intelligence :—
“The evening dresses for young Ladies are short, and mostly made of a
combination of plush, and brocaded silk or satin, and lace.”
This information will, we imagine, he equally astounding both to
the old-fashioned petticoaterie and the new-fangled divided skirtists.
We wonder what next ?
COUNTING THEIR CHICKENS.
Scene—A Secret Council-chamber in the neighbourhood of Arlington
Street. Conservative Leaders assembled.
Lord S-l-sb-ry. Yes, there’s no doubt about it, the country is
with us to a man. If you’d seen the enthusiasm on the railway
platform at Glasgow, Staffy, you’d never have forgotten it. Had
my coat pulled off my back, and-
Enter a Messenger, with news of the Scarborough Election.
Lord S-l-sb-ry with difficulty conceals his emotion, and goes
on--
And, as I was saying, perhaps, as the country is so entirely with
us, you know, it would be only kind to our opponents to—er—
compromise the affair !
Sir St-jf-rd N-rthc-te (cheering up). Decidedly.
Luke of It. and G. After this Scarborough disaster, there’s no
other course open to us.
i Another Messenger enters, with news of the South Warwickshire
Election.
Lord S-l-sb-ry (leaving paper wildly in air). Eleven hundred
; majority ! Hurrah! Down with Gladstone ! We must force him
to dissolve, at all costs. The farmers are our friends ; bad seasons
make good Tories. My advice is, reject the Bill over and over again !
Lord Lt-nd-lph Ch-rch-U. Right you are ! “I was ever a lighter,
so one light more, The best and the last! as Browning writes. I
say, am I to be Home Secretary, or what? And keep a place for
poor old Wolef, will yon? He’d do uncommonly well as Under-
secretary for the Colonies, or something of that sort.
Sir St-ff-rd N-rthc-te. I suppose Chaplin will do if we make a
Minister of Agriculture. Lowther is just cut out for a judicious
Foreign Secretary, and Ecroyd is a horn President of the Board of
Trade. There you are ! And you’d like Gorst to be Attorney ?
Lord Lt-nd-lph Ch-rch-ll. Hever ! Gorst is a craven. Presumed
to counsel a compromise without consulting me ! Obliged, with
tears in my eyes, to chuck him overboard.
Earl C-rns. Well, ta-ta! Last time I sat on the Woolsack, I found
it a trifle hard. Just going to order it to be restuffed-
Lord Lt-nd-lph Ch-rch-ll. I’m off to call at Home Office, and
choose my private rooms. Ta-ta ! aH of you. Will meet again in
Downing Street! [Exeunt omnes.
SKEGGISM IN SKYE.
To the simple unofficial mind it would seem that the case of the
“ crofters and cottars in the Highlands and islands of Scotland” is
about ripe for settlement. But as Miss Carolina Wilhelmina
Amelia Skeggs observed/1 there is a form in these things,—there is a
form.” To examine an alleged grievance carefully, and deal with it
equitably and promptly, may commend itself to the ordinary, but not
to the official or Skeggsian judgment. The “form” must be
observed. And what Is the “form?” Well, it is usually so com-
plex and prolix as to be difficult of full analysis. But given a
grievance—like that of the Irish tenants any time within the last
century, or the Scotch Crofters now—there are heaps of things to be
done before it can be righted.
In the first place it must be ignored altogether until its assertion
becomes too palpable to overlook. Then it must be pooh-poohed.
When it enlists public sympathy as well as attracts public notice, it
must be “inquired into,”—by the long-drawn process of a Commis-
sion, for choice. Whilst the Commission is sitting—or standing, or
travelling, or whatever it chooses to do - things of course must be
kept in abeyance, inopportune inquiry snubbed, friendly urgency
denounced, protest protested against, any impatient action on the
part of the sufferers sharply put down, in the interest of “ law.and
order.” The Commission takes its time— all Commissions do.
Ultimately, however, it issues its “Report.” And there matters
stop, until the sufferers, or their advocates, make another stir. If
that stir is mild, it is not noticed ; if it is vigorous, it is denounced
as violent; if it is violent, the Law is down upon it. unless-—well,
unless it is very, very violent, largely and formidably so, and then
the fire begins to burn the stick, the stick begins to beat the dog, tbe
dog to bite the pig, the pig to get over the stile, and the Old Woman
gets home, or, in other words, the grievance gets redressed. This—
very briefly summarised indeed—is the official Skeggsian “ form.” |
It is open to some objection, such as waste of time, prolongation of
suffering, provocation of crime, engendering of hatred, killing of
gratitude in the bud, and final compulsory pushing off reform till it
savours of revolution, redress until it shows like surrender.
Without prejudging the case of these poor Crofters, is it too much
to hope that, in dealing with it, the Skeggsian “ form,” of which we
have already had so many disastrous and expensive examples, will
not be adopted ?