Punch (88.1885)

February 7, 1885. J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

61

A VERY ORTHODOX ANIMAL.

Bishop. “Doesn’t Shy, eh, Mr. Perkins?”

Horsedealer. “Shy? Never! Stop, my Lord. I must be Honest with you. I did know him Shy once—but that was
at a Salvationist Army passin’ by ! ” [Bishop buys Horse at once.

PENS OP THE WAR.

IN HEMORIAM.

JOHN ALEXANDER CAMERON,

'War-Correspondent op the “ Standard.”

ST. LEGER ALGERNON HERBERT,

War-Correspondent op the “ Morning Post.”
Killed at the Battle of Guhat, January 19, 1885.

Not only in the battle’s ranged ranks,

Not only under soldier cloth and casque,

May manhood earn what Bayard’s self would ask,
A hero’s ending and a country’s thanks.

Cameron, Herbert ! These are names to mate
With Burnaby’s and Stewart's on the roll
Of militant honour, men of kindred soul,

Equal in heart and matched in glorious fate.

Pen versus Sword ? But now the hasty phrase
Loses its glib significance since the two
Co-operate are in splendid rLk ; and. who
Will weigh their service or divide their praise ?

In steadfast valour, danger-scorning toil,

Penmen like these are plumeless knights indeed,
Ready to face war’s death-rain, and at need
To stain with life-blood free a foreign soil.

What may a soldier more ? No more they claim,
Gallant sword-wielders, than to these brave men,
Comrades in duty, Paladins of the Pen,

They gladly yield of glory and of fame.

And England, watchful of all high deeds done
By all her children dutiful and brave,

Lays tear-stained laurel on the desert-grave
Of gallant Herbert and stout Cameron !

L’EMPIRE C’EST LE-PAY!

Mr. Chamberlain’s significant reference to the evidently already
projected Bill for the payment of Members of Parliament, has, as
might have been conceived, produced a tremendous sensation among
the beggarly Solicitors, wigless Barristers, superannuated Clerks,
and the general ruck of higti-souled but impecunious people among
whom it is evident that the earnest politicians of the future will
inevitably have to be found. Several rumours are afloat as to the
leading features of the measure, hut the following, though merely
preliminary, may be regarded as substantially correct:—

1. £250 per annum (payable quarterly in advance).

2. Free (outside) transit on any omnibus going to or from West-
minster Bridge.

3. The right of entrance without charge to Messrs. Gatti’s
Restaurant, the Duke of York’s Column, the pit of Her Majesty’s
Theatre, and the reserved seats during feeding-time at the Regent’s
Park Zoological Gardens.

4. A New Suit of Ready-made Clothes, of stout and serviceable
quality, annually, and free of cost, at the commencement of the
Summer Session.

5. The gratis hire, three times a year, of a White Tie, Pair of
Evening Shoes, and Tail Coat, on the three separate occasions, re-
spectively, of attendance at the Speaker’s Levy, Invitation to the
Shilling Ministerial White Bait Dinner, and possible appearance in
the capacity of Honorary Waiters at a Garden Party at Marlborough
House.

6. An Extra Donation of £5, in the shape of a Christmas Box, for
the purpose of Subscribing fittingly to the various Local, County, or
Borough Charities.

7. Six new four-and-ninepenny Hats, for use during the Autumn
Recess, with permission, if the meetings be unusually stormy, to
have them re-blocked at the expense of the constituency.

8. Right to a free fore-cabin Emigration-Ticket to Central Africa
or New Ztaland on accepting the Chiltern Hundreds.

YOL. LXXXVIII.

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