Punch (88.1885)

April 18, 1885.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

181

PAPERS FROM PUMP-HANDLE COURT.

MY PRIZE PUPIL.

Feeling that during the present plethora of Queen's Counsel I
might prove a cause of embarrassment, if not indeed sorrowful
annoyance, to the Lord Chancellor if I applied to him for “ Silk,”
I determined to utilise the privilege of a “ Junior ” by becoming a
“ Coach.” Of course I did not for a moment expect to rival in
success so popular a “ guide, philosopher, and friend,” as Mb.
Shearwood, the learned author of a number of admirable treatises,
hut I trusted that with diligence and study I might perhaps he able
to help some faint-hearted and faltering student to climb up that
combined ladder of Roman Law, Real Property, Common Law, and
Equity, which leads to that proud pinnacle in the Temple of Forensic
Fame known as the degree of Utter Barrister. To carry out this
laudable, and I hoped lucrative programme, it became necessary for
me to learn some law myself. Owing to a variety of circumstances, I
had not made the science of my profession so much my especial study
as its practice, consequently I found myself a little “ rusty.” How-
ever, I brushed up my schoolboy knowledge of the Classics, and
fiercely tackled the Latin intricacies of Justinian, filling up the
remainder of my time (except that, of course, devoted to my
strictly professional duties) with peeps into Joshua "Williams’ little
works upon Real and Personal Property,' and glances at Snell’s
excellent brochure upon Equity. After two terms and a long
vacation’s unceasing work, I ventured to test my knowledge by
securing and attempting to answer (without the assistance of my
text-books) the papers set for examination in Lincoln’s Inn Hall. 1
allowed myself double the ordinary time to compensate for my lost
youth. Having completed the task, I checked my replies with the
Bar Journal with the following not ungratifying result. I found
that in Roman Law I had answered one question partly right and
several incorrectly, in Real Property all the questions incorrectly, in
Common Law one question nearly right and many incorrectly, and
in Equity one whole question entirely right and several incorrectly.
Having thus attained, to what I may fairly claim to call without
laying myself open to the charge of intellectual arrogance, a state of
high proficiency, I ventured to insert the following advertisement in
some of our leading daily papers:—

TO GENTLEMEN wishing to adopt the BAR as a PROFESSION.—
An Utter Barrister of one of the Inns of Court, of many years’ stand,
ing, having a little spare time on his hands, caused by the occasional pausei
in the proceedings incidental to a life employed in a most extensive Prac.
tiee, is prepared to impart Instruction to a few Students desirous of climbinj
a tT8 Shiest heights of a noble Profession. Apply for particulars b
A. B. J., Pump Handle Court, Temple, E.C.

Business being slack at the time, I waited in my Chambers fo:
uays, in expectation of receiving some answer to my announcement
i or a time I was disappointed. Still, I continued sitting with mi
JUL gown, and hands artistically grouped around me, to sugges
that, although I took Pupils, I was still actively engaged in thi
of my Profession; and my perseverance was at length re-
warded by the entrance of a visitor. The person who stood befori
me wore a long Newmarket coat, a very tight pair of trousers, ;
lamond horse-shoe pin, and a curly-brimmed hat. He wa3 smok
ng a very strong cigar (for which he apologised), and carried •<
knotted-handled stick.

• "®*haps you will allow me to explain myself,” he said, seatin
amself on a. siHe-fahio --i, ’_j

hiddei

wig.

v: yyu. win aiiow me to explain myseir, he said,

lmseii on a side-table, and upsetting my brief bag and its
S co-operative luxuries. I bowed and toyed with my wig.
tin ^ .®,f.a°t is I have made a bet that I will pass the Bar Examina
of Awithin three months. I was dining a short time ago with a 1<

ni chappies, and an old stick, of the name of "WTgblock-

“ tu Uu Rean the eminent Queen’s Counsel ? ” I asked.
■Rrontnat s r PartY- My name’s Horselaugh. Well, old "WTo
muelf nS0Wi?re 1 k,nlw nothing about law. I told him I knew i
EvaminL-’ and backed my opinion. Said I would pass the Be
one tw T10n’ AT Iban be had ever done. I took him three 1
charmieo tbe I™11 three months’ time. All the oth<

as IPam a looked too good a thing to miss. Wei

your AdverH hort just now, I want to puR it ofi, if I can ; so, seeiii
I came to lentTent’ and> tanking < A. B. J.’ sounded rather chirp
TWhl • ?°.u uP-and, here I am.”

■was a voun?M-U«nleS ^ ?ut that my visitor and would-be pup

getie °f the1Ear! of Stablecloth. He seemed an ene,

of Court andSnaa!e?tn’ ^>av]?g- already obtained entrance to an Ir
“Well QTd &e Preliminary Examination,
menee at’onee. Tf^J1 a-1s,nU.e’,? we cannot do better than con
easy-ehair, you will^finrlU^ kmdlX remove those briefs from th;
the powers of a pater fL™ 7®at’ anf I,wl4 tf11 y°u something ahoi
potestas,’ as shadowed fmfh'h’ 4he iuU Tmeanmg of the woi

All right,” said he «^b7-9le EmPer?f Justinian.”

I am due at Tattersali’a yoT do- ^ “^st he in a Hanson

with me, we might chai f+ln half-an-honr hut if you like to con
- s it over in the cab.”

And this was the commencement of onr studies. Mr. Horse-
laugh turned out to he a thoroughly amiable young fellow, and I
determined to do my best to help him to pass his Examination.
True, his aim was scarcely to “climb to the loftiest heights of a
noble Profession,” being, in point of fact, rather to gain certain
wagers unsanctioned by any Court of Law other than that of
Honour; and yet his ambition was a noble one. I found that so
general was the impression that he would fail to qualify (as much as
twenty to one was offered against him freely), that it seemed certain
that did he attain success, my fame as a “ coach” would be estab-
lished. His family were most anxious for his triumph, believing
that his exertions were due to his intense desire to practise in the
Chancery Division of the High Court of Justice. Our reading had
only one drawback—a serious one—that I was forced to accompany
him on all his excursions. He pointed out to me that he could not
really spare the time to give up any of his “engagements,” so I had
to test him in Personalty between the races at Sandown, put him
through his paces about Expressed Trusts during the pauses of a
convivial Garrick Club Dinner, and see how he had progressed in
Contracts when he had “ cut out ” of a rubber at the Portland. At
first this caused some slight annoyance at my private residence, and
I was tried in the Court of my Hearth and Home for coming m
rather late one night, or early one morning, wearing somebody else’s

Rapid Progress with a Slow Coach.

hat, and clasping in my hand a supper-bill from a well-known
Leicester Square Restaurant. However, my defence, so far as it
went, was deemed satisfactory. I explained that I had spent the
evening in attempting to teach Mr. Horselaugh the distinction
between a Contingent and a Vested Remainder.

At length the first Day of Examination arrived. The Council of
Legal Education, no doubt to show their Spartan apathy for every-
thing outside their scholastic duties, had selected, a well-known
sporting “fixture’’for the date of the contest. I had had some
difficulty in persuading my pupil to forego the pleasures of the Turf,
to be present at Lincoln’s Inn, hut had ultimately succeeded by
getting him to back himself for what he called the “Examination
Selling Stakes,” for further sums of money.

On the memorable morning I overslept myself, and, consequently,
did not reach the Hall of Lincoln’s Inn until the Candidates had
taken their places within that handsome edifice. I rather regretted
this, as I should have liked to have given Mr. Horselaugh a few
additional hints about the incidents of Common Socage Tenure,—a
matter about which he knew little or nothing. Trusting that the
subject would not be broached either in the papers or viva voce, I
walked up and down in the gardens outside the Hall, awaiting
anxiously the moment when Mr. Horselaugh would come out and
give me an account of his adventures. The feeling of anxiety
became so acute, that I determined to walk to my Chambers and
back to kill the time of waiting. On Reaching Pump-Handle Court,
my admirable and excellent Clerk handed me a telegram. It was
from my pupil, and was dated “Epsom” ! He had preferred the
Derby to the Bar, for he never again entered for an Examination!

A. Brleeless, Junior.

Her niece read out an account of the Enthronisation of the Bishop
of London, and in the procession were—“ The Apparitor of the Dean

and Chapter, the Apparitor of the Bishop-” “ Don’t let anyone

say they don’t believe in Ghosts after this ! ” exclaimed Mrs, Rams-
botham.

VOL. LXXXVIi i.

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