Punch: Punch (38.1860)

40

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 23, 1860.

HUMOURS OF THE HOLY SEE.

By the account of the
Roman correspondent of
the Morning Post, the
paternal heart which has
been represented as op-
pressed with so much
heaviness, is, on the con-
trary, particularly light and
jolly. We are informed
that—

“ On the 2nd instant a depu-
tation of Jews waited upon his
Holiness for the purpose of
congratulating him upon the
New Year. His Holiness is
stated to have been peculiarly
jocular with the members ol'
the deputation, inquiring after
the health of Sighor "Mom-
molo,” the father of Moiit*ra,
and asking the astounded
Israelites whether they thought
the Congress would oblige him,
the Pope, to give up the boy.”

“Mommolo” is plainly
an Italian diminutive of
Moses ; the same playful
species of appellation as
our English “ Mo,” of as
the familiar and affection-
ate name of Ikey, substituted for Isaacs. Mortara is, as evidently, one of
those euphemisms for Moses which correspond to Moss and Morris. It is incre-
dible that the Pope, who is personally a decent kind of man, should have
spontaneously and impertinently bantered the Jews who came to pay their
respects to him on such a subject as that of the bereavement which he has con-
sidered it his duty to inflict on Mr. Mortara. Gentlemen of the Hebrew
persuasion are generally rather prone, in conversation, to adopt a style of facetious
personality, with small regard to the dignity of the personage to whom their obser-
vations are addressed. If his Holiness said anything about “Mommolo,” the
probability, is that it was only a retort, provoked by the Jews in offering the
Sovereign Pontiff some of their chaff. “ What will you take for your temporal
crown F ” or “ Want any clo’ for your foreign troops ? ” or some other such
pleasant colloquial inquiry ou their part, may be presumed to have elicited the

allocution respecting Signor “ Mommolo’s ” health, and
their opinion of the probable action of Congress in that
sufferer’s behalf. One thing no doubt led to another ; we
can conceive that gibes were respectively exchanged'about
Saturday and Sunday, or that raillery was bandied in like
relation to ^celibacy and abstinence from black-puddings;

his visitors ov poking

the Holy Father finally dismissing
fun at them with the corner of his
shape of a pig’s ear.

mantle folded into the

THE DEATH OF THE CAT.

Thanks mainly to Punch!—readers who doubt this
should look back some thirty volumes, and see how Punch
attacked and has continued to attack her—thanks mainly
to Punch, the cat is on her last legs both in Army and in
Navy, and Punch will take good care that no one lifts a
hand to save her. Slowly, but with sureness, she is passing
from among us, and we need not fear we ever more shall
look upon her like. The cat has no relations to endow
with her bad properties; and although her lives may be
as many as her tails, no long time can pass before we* see
the end of them. Moritura vos saluto is now a fitting
phrase for her, wherewith to introduce herself to those
who wish her further; and as she visibly grows weaker
oil every fresh appearance, there seems very little ques-
tion but that we shall soon lose sight of her. Reduced to
her last legs, and being as she is upon the very worst of
footing, there is no doubt she must shortly disappear in
toe-toe. If an inquest be demanded to decide what were the
causes which induced her dissolution, it will not be found
difficult to find a verdict in the case, “Died from the
attacks of Punch and Popular Opinion ” of course would
be at once the finding of the Jury, and no Coroner could
hesitate one moment in confirming it. That the death has
been a lingering one is not the fault of the assailants ;
but the cat, be it remembered, is an “ancient institution,”
and, like old annuitants, “Ancient Institutions ” are always
slow to die.

The Best Settlement for a Rich Wife who
Elopes.—A Penal one.

CLERICAL COSMETICS.

A Tradesman of Ratcliff Highway, named Daniel Stocker, was
brought, on Tuesday last week, before Mr. Yardley, at the Thames
Police Court, in consequence of having, the evening before, shouted
after the Rev. Bryan King and his lot, on their departure from St.
George’s in the East, after the performance of their “ Evensong,”
“There goes those Puseyites ! ” In the course of a dialogue with the
Magistrate, the defendant said, that he knew that the reverend gent
and his associates were Puseyites “ by the cut of their clothes.”
Whereupon inquired—

“ Mr. Yardley. Then they become Puseyites by the art of tailoring ?

“ The Prisoner. Very much like it; T haviiseen chaps of the same sort, with theii
pale Jesuitical faces, in Devonshire, where I-came from.”

The pallor of the sacerdotal complexion is very peculiar, and may
well have attracted the attention of an ordinary observer, such Mr.
Stocker may be conceived to be. How do the priests acquire it?
By singularity of diet—“making so many fish meals that they fall into
a male green-sickness”? Mere fasting will not produce the effect;
or paupers would resemble Papist and Puseyite parsons; moreover
these white-faced gentry are some of them fat. Do they use any
wash in order to blanch their cheeks ? We see no cosmetics for such
a purpose advertised in the lay papers ; but, for ought we know, there
may be Ecclesiastical journals with a strictly professional circulation,
containing puffs of various preparations of the kind in question; such
as Liguori’s Bleaching Balsam, Xavier’s Exsanguinatory, and
Loyola’s Anti-Bloom.

Deserters at St. Martin’s-le-Grand.

We wish the postage-stamps were not cowards, and would not, from
the want of a little gumption, keep dropping off, one by one, from their
posts. We are sure if they would only begin to screw their courage
up to the sticking-poiut, that we should be the first to back them.

A REPORTER’S READING OF IT ON JAN. 21.

The Great Tribulation Coming.” Parliament meets on Tuesday!

FRIARS’ BALSAM.
^ ©regartan ©fjant.

Pio No-no,

Who ’ll kiss t by toe,
Worship to show,

If thy crown go ?
Terrible blow !

If the proud foe
Over thee crow,
Whilst we, for woe.
Cry, oh, oh, oli!

Oh, oh, oh, oh !

We will do so,
Kneeling, as though
Tliou didst bestow
All that we owe,
Heads, which we mow

Pare, bowing low,
Punctilio
Not to forego,
Singing, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Too much men know,
Run to and fro.

Too bold they grow,
Our speed is slow,

As the ponds (low :
Thy boat1 we ’ll row,
To Jericho,

There kiss thy toe,
Chanting, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh !

Wit in Literary Circles.

A Gentleman, whose name stands very high in Albemarle Street
and the Row, was reading out in a literary circle the announcement in
the Athenceum of a new work by Lady Charlotte Pepys to be called
A Journey on a Plank from Kiew to Eaux Bonnes, when the Miscount,
who happened quite by accident to be present amongst literary
gentlemen, cried out: “Like the notion amazingly ! I’ve a good mind
to do a companion to it, and call it, A Journey on the Knifeboard from
Kew to ’Olborn.” The meeting suddenly broke up.

SIMPLE, BUT AGRICULTURAL.

Q. What is the best time for sowing tares ?

A. When the landlord goes round and collects his rents.

Advice to Bachelors.—Eat cold pudding to settle your love ; tmi
don’t do anything which will induce you to settle your money.