Punch: Punch (38.1860)

February 18, I860.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

73

THE FREEWOMEN OF VENICE.

enice is asserting her-
self. According to a
letter from that fair

city —

“ Not many days since
the word was given by the
ladies through the Venetian
provinces that, in order to
be distinguished from the
female companions of their
oppressors, one and all
should renounce wearing
Crinoline.”

The Venetian ladies
have done admirably in
signifying their hatred
of an abominable de-
spotism by the renun-
ciation of an odious
fashion. In thus act-
ing, they have vindi-
cated the dignity of
gre-

their sex; for the
garious and sheepish
submission to the bur-
den of hoops and whale-
bone, on the part of
the softer sex, had ren-
dered it questionable
whether woman, how-
ever stubborn and obstinate she may sometimes be, really possesses any intelligent will of
her own. The Venetian ladies, however, by bursting the bonds and casting away the cords of
Crinoline have proved themselves endowed with sense, reason, and the power of free agencv;
faculties which, therefore, we may regard as only paralysed in the case of the rest of tne
females, who persist in wearing clothes which are inconvenient and ridiculous, as if they were
unable to help themselves. As the ladies of Venice have rejected the yoke of the Lady
Bellaston dynasty revived, so may they, by the help of men who are worthy of them, very
soon be enabled to get rid of the atrocious tyranny of the Imperial dastard who suffers his
■execrable hangmen to whip them.

TRUE AND FALSE PROPHETS.

The Irish Revival is not by any means ap-
proved of by the priesthood over which Dr.
Cullen presides. From the following state-
ment made by a Dublin journal in reference to
the present state of King’s County, it appears
that some of those reverend gentlemen pretend
to prophetic gifts of their own

“ The priests openly proclaim the banishment of all
Protestants from the district, and prophesy that before
winter is ended many of them will make clay in the
churchyard.”

What do Dr. Cullen and his episcopal coad-
jutors say to these predictions F They may, it
they please, contrast the prophecies of their
own clergy with those of the Revivalists, and
argue that the latter, being unfulfilled, are
evidently tlie^ utterances of mere enthusiasm,
whereas the former must be regarded as attes-
tations of true faith, because they are verified :
for if Irish priests predict that Irish Protestants
will make clay in the churchyard, their words
are pretty sure to come true.

A Nominal Duty.

A Correspondent of the Post, signing him-
self Hopeful, proposes to avoid any addition
to the Income-Tax by the expedient of imposing
“a tax of 5s. on every name but one a child of
Her Majesty’s subjects receives at its baptism
or registering.” The aristocracy are requested
to observe, that the adoption of this proposal
would involve the impost of five Bob for every
extra Reginald, Hubert, Bertram, or other
proper name of a noble boy.

Arguing in a Circle.—The Pope’s Ency-
clical Letter.

A GO AT THE GAS-ROBBERS.

Correspondents keep complaining of the badness of their gas, and
of the insufficient quantity with which the streets are lit, and as they
•don’t quite seem to know on whom to fix the blame, they as usual
make appeal to the omniscience of Punch. This they do as usual with
their stereotyped facetiousness, saying they are rather “ in the dark ”
about the. matter, and begging Punch to “throw a light upon the
subject,” and to “ blaze away ” at somebody for sake of a “flare-up.”
One writer makes remark, that from the bad gas in the theatres the
audience looks “ ghas-tly; ” and another says, that gas is now of no use
for “gas-tronomy,” inasmuch as one can’t cook by it, and can hardly
see to eat. They most of them agree too, that the gas is “no light
matter,” and seeing that its badness is a constant “ heavy loss,” to
them, they disclaim the least intention or endeavour to “ make light ”
of it.

Now, Punch, once for all, must state, that he cannot any longer be a
martyr to these witticisms, and he trusts the manufacture of them may
at once he stopped. If there be just cause for a serious complaint,
about the gas, let the charge be made in seriousness, without making
a bad joke of it, and Punch will “seriously incline” himself forthwith
to hear and see to it. If it be true that, as one writer sentimentally
observes,—

The gas of other days is faded.

And half its glory gone :

The lamps of Regent Street are shaded,

Their cocks but half turned on,”—

Punch, who has a hatred of doing things by halves, will fire away
unceasingly at those who are in fault, until the missing moiety of gas-
light be restored to us. With his literary powder always kept dry for
emergencies, Punch with pleasure will blow up any gas-making mono-
polists, who are proved guilty of giving scanty measure through their
meters, and of sending out bad gas although they get in a good price
for it. Ever at his post—although it be but a street lamp-post—Punch
will keep bis eyes unwinkingly upon our gas suppliers, and bring his
baton down on any who may give a short supply. “Turn on, Old
Cock, to th’ full thy gas! ” will be his warning adjuration to any
London lamplighter, who may be paid to keep his burners nightly at
half-cock. To rob the streets of gas is a sort of highway robbery,
which Punch, personifying Justice, never will abet; and he will not
stay his pen from passing condemnation until the gang of gaseous
1’CRPiNS be t \rned off—like their lamps.

A DREADFUL BLOW AND GREAT DISCOURAGEMENT.

Monsieur Burat is a French Protectionist. He is so enraged at
the attempt of the Emperor in favour of Free Trade, that iie has
actually registered a vow before Heaven that he will rather hence-
forward—

“ Blow his nose on his fingers than use a pocket handkerchief of English make.”

Spoken like a true mouchard, who does not mind lending his hand to
anything ! Mons. Burat has strange tastes, and it will be rather
awkward for him if he is in the habit of taking snuff. He has regis-
tered a vow that is certainly more curious than nice, and we only hope
that he may come clean out of it. He pulls his own nose, and then
fancies he is tweaking Free Trade’s. We suppose he would not mind
cutting his nose right off, if he thought by so doing he could damage
the face of any Free-Trader. Clearly, Mons. Burat is one of those
short-sighted Protectionists who can see no farther than his nose: the
bridge of it must be a regular Pons asinorum.

British and Foreign Exchange.

There is a way for the pacification of Italy which might perhaps be
adopted witli success. Suppose the Pope and Queen Victoria were
to change subjects as far, on the Queen’s part, as Ireland is concerned,
Protestants excepted. IIer Majesty could perhaps take the inha-
bitants of the Duchies too, aud give an equivalent in certain Britons
who also had rather be slaves. Constitutional Sovereign and Despots
would then be accommodated with contented peoples, and the Legis-
lature would enjoy a good riddance of bad rubbish.

WHAT CAN T BE CURED MUST BE ENDURED.

“ They say that smoking cures hams, and herrings, and haddocks,
and many other things—but all I know is, that I have tried it on my
wife’s temper for the last dozen years, and it hasn’t had the smallest
effect in curing that.”—A Persevering Husband.

EXTRAORDINARY ArEGETAELE.

Louis Napoleon, having proved so successful with his “plants,”
lias turned his attention to vegetables, and is at present engaged iu
forcing a gigantic specimen of Savoy cabbage.

Vol. 33.