Punch (58.1870)

Mabch 12 1870.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 105

EVENINGS FROM HOME.

at the spanish-islington or islington-spanish bull-fight.

cene — The Agricultural
Rail, more than half full.
A Circus much larger
than usual in the centre of
the building. The tradi-
tional brass band to play
the Overture of the Bronze
Horse to the Bulls. A
mingled perfume of bad
tobacco and circus-sawdust
pervades the atmosphere.
At intervals the popping
of soda-water bottles is
heard. Three gentlemen,

Well-informed Friend (finding from the conversation of those around
him that he is near other people who have also been in Spain). Well—not
exactly. I've seen this sort of thing in Portugal. [Nobody is near
who has been to Portugal, so he confines himself to an anecdote of a Bull-
fight in that place)

[New movement with Bull Number Two. A Bull-fighter sits in a chair
opposite Bull. The Bull is pensive. Bullfighter tries to dis-
tract his attention from the sawdust. Band plays also to distract
Bull. Bull listens still pensive.
Spanish Islington {in gallery). Yah ! Give 'im some 'ay!
Spanish Costermonger. Get h'up. Stoopid !

[Bull rouses himself, and approaches valiant man in chair. Exit
valiant man over the barricade.

( Bravo, Toro! Bravo,Toro!

Different People {with different opinions). < Yah ! Yah !

( S-s-s-s-s-s ! {Applause.)
Lounger {from, the West End.) Doosid slow. {Hisparty agree with him.)
EasilyPleased Person (cheerfully). 1 think it's very amusing. (This
is his opinion after the Third Bull has performed with same exciting inci-
dents as mentioned above.)
Fussy Gentleman. I've had enough of this. I s'pose we shall get a

too late for the beginning cab somewhere to take us back again.

of the show, enter and
inquire the way to their
seats.

Reticent Policeman at

[Shouts and applause suddenly. The audience are awoke, for a few
seconds, by the gallant and daring conduct of a Bullfighter, who
has just stuck a rosette on the Bull's neck when he wasn't looking,
and has then run away and jumped over the barricade.
Untravelled Person (to his Well-informed Friend). What are these fel-

the door (keeping his right lows called ?
hand in his breast pocket, and staring straight before him at nothing in Well-informed Traveller. Well, one's a matador, and another's a

particular, while he jerks his head to the left as an indication of what he picador—he's the picador in the basket-horse—the others are the—are

means when he says), Straight on. ; the—dear me—bandilleros or bandenllos— and—and—(becomes again

Fussy Gentleman (in a tone intended to be heard). Ah ! 1 can imagine aware that other people who have been to Spain are intently listening to

the people about Highbury Bam don't get well attended to, if this is his conversation)—and, in fact, it's puzzling to know what these chaps

their style of Peeler. are. It's certainly more like what I've seen in Portugal. (Confines

[Reticent Policeman looks round scornfully; laughing trio and himself to Portugal.)

exeunt towards probable opening. Shouts and applause heard
within. Very tantalising as they can't find an entrance.
Languid Gentleman (who has been in Spain, and knows all about it).
Quite reminds me of Spain. Just the sort of thing we used to hear there.
Untravelled Friend (who wishes for information). Ah ! indeed !
[Shouts of " Bravo, Toro /" " Go it, little 'an ! " " Now then ! "

Spanish Islington. Where's the Clown ?

[The Sixth Bull woa't leave the Circus. He wont fight, and he
wont go away. Applause. Derisive laughter. Shouts repeated
of " Give 'im some 'ay and vater." " Take 'im 'ome." fyc. 8fc.
At last the Bull is coaxed back to the stable. Band plays
" God Save the Queen." Music by Dr. Bull. Bullfighters
Wake up ! " ' Clapping of hands'rattling of hats and sticks. It assemble and bow Cheers, hisses, applause, general movement out

occurs to Untravelled Friend that he's heard much the same sort as quickly as possible,

of thing in a Provincial Circus during the performance of the Travelled Gentleman. Not the thing at all.

Courier of St. Petersburg h on six horses and chatigmg his dress Untravelled Gentleman. Well, if that's anything like it—(finishes in
ten times, appearing first as the Courier, then as Pickwick, and a cigar.)

lastly as Cupid, showing probably to what shifts an Imperial Fussy Person. Han? it, we ve got all the way to go back again.
Messenger might have been put when steam wasn't invented, ifhe I Lounger from the West. Bosh!

wished to escape detection. Easily-pleased Person (who has paid half-a-guinea for a stall). Well,

Fussy Friend. Where the deuce are our seats? (Turns to the left and rpally, I think it's the best thing I've seen for a long time. (Goes to
goes nowhere Angrily.) Whv isn't there some one to—here—I say— lns Club intending to send everybody to whom he owes a grudge. Bis
(To dirty individual in black) Where's the reserv- ? (Dirty individual advice, there is)—Haven't you seen the Bull-fight? Oh ! you ought to
scuds away.) Confound it! Why the . . . Oh ! (Sees another person in see the Bull-fight ! Best thin? I've seen lor years. (And probably

a great coat) Where are the reserv_? retires to rest chuckling) [Spanish Islington disappears into publics.

Gruff'Person How should I know? ' Ask up there. (Strolls on as if. Friend (to Proprietor of the Show at Refreshment Stall). I say, these
he 'd seen the Bullfight a hundred times, and didn't care what happened.) j Bulls ain t half wild. N o fun. (Severalpeople agree )

Official (suddenly appearing at the bottom of a staircase). 'Served seats ? ' Proprietor (seeing an opportunity for advertisement). Wild ! Bless
Yes Sir Here you are Sir Up there ! vou' You wouldu t be up to much ll you d had such a sea passage as

Languid Gentleman (at the top of the stairs). But where are the— tliey've had. You just wait till next week : they '11 be as wild and
Fussy Gentleman. Yes. Look here. I've got 47. Here I say-(to T,1C10US ™-™-'AS-{JaihJn a simile) anything; you 11 see some fun
anybody, the Stall-keeper having vanished)—Where's 47'P ; then- Winks confidentially and laugh at bystanders. Left drinking

Careless Person (comfortably seated). Take any one. ! eac^ other s healths.) _

[The three friends knock down a few chairs, provoke some bad lan-
guage, and finally descend to their seats. A Matador, a Picador, WHY SHAVE YOUR SOTD1EBS?
in a basket horse, and other Bull-fighters are in the arena engaged,

with Bull Number One. When tne Army Estimates come next under discussion, we hope

Shouts {from a lot of people who know something about it). Bravo, \ that some Economist will move that no more shaving tackle be sup-
Toro! Bravo. Toro! ^ j plied to soldiers. The annual cost of soapsuds can be no laughing

Untravelled Friend. Who's Toro ? j matter, though the matter may seem ludicrous. To this add the

Travelled but Reserved Person (in reserved seat). He's the Bull. [expense of razor-strops and razors, of shaving cloths and shaving
[The Bull-fighters go boldly within four yards of the little Bull, who \ brushes, and one may calculate what saving would be made merely by

doesn't seem to know his business. They dare him to the battle.

not shaving.

Matador (with red cloak approaching a little nearer). Saha ! Sa-ha ! Soldiers get into sad scrapes through not being clean-shaven ; and
ha ! ha ! (Stamps his foot fiercely. Bull trots towards him. Exeunt all' while the two regulation inches of the chin must, by order, be kept
Bullfighters nimbly over the barricade.) j beardless, it might be well to institute a daily shaving drill, so as to

Spanish Islington. S-s-s-s ! Yah 1 j ensure proficiency in the using of the razor. For the instruction of an

Spaniard (in the gallery). Take him 'ome ! j awkward squad, short and simple words of military command might be

[Bull trots round and examines audience. Bullfighters leap into the ' shouted by the drill sergeant: such, for instance, as " Draw razors! "
arena.

Another Islington Spaniard (dissatisfied). Now then, vake hup !
[Bullfighters rush about vaguely with cloaks. Little Bull makes
short ineffectual charges at anything, shakes his head, then stands

still, and refuses to play any more. latest bulletin.

Untravelled Gentleman (to Well-informed Friend who has seen the real Mrs. Ramsbotham has been suffering from indisposition brought on
thing). Is this anything like it ? by a cold caught at the theatre. She is now trying Homeopathy.

Strop razors ! " "Handle noses ! " " Quick scra-a-ape ! "