Punch (58.1870)

May 21, 1870.1

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

207

any position of which trained minds and extensive knowledge are
leading requirements. Those who profess to represent " the working-
man" may, perhaps, consider that they show, at least, one claim to
do so, when they prove that they resemble him in shallowness, short-
sightedness, and self-satisfaction.

That you have this claim, my dear Ms. Odger, I readily admit. But
I have read your speeches, and watched your career in vain for proof
that you possess any other. I have the honour to be, my dear Mb.

0dgee» Yours faithfully,

THE MISJUDGMENT OF JUDGES.

he Times, a few days ago, pub-
lished a rather extraordinary
letter. It expressed a thoughtful
sense of a legal wrong, and was
signed " A. Barrister." Our
learned and morally sentient
friend says:—

" Three years ago I was counsel
for the plaintiff in an action for
false imprisonment brought by a
poor man against a rich man, a
Magistrate and a Barrister. The
plaintiff had a verdict for £100.
The defendant moved for a new-
trial ; rule refused. He appealed
to the Exchequer Chamber; judg-
ment for the plaintiff. The defen-
dant then took the case to the
House of Lords, and yesterday the
decisions of the Exchequer Chamber, the Court of Exchequer, and the Lord
Chief Baron, who tried the cause, were overruled by the Lokd Chancellor,
two ex-Chancellors, and a Scotch Judge. The costs are enormous, and tbe
question arises, how would it have been had the defendant been a poor man ? "

He would have had to pay a hundred pounds unduly, or to be made
a bankrupt. So much for answer -to the question of "A Barrister."
But there is another view of the case to be taken than that which he
suggests. His client, a poor man, will be unable to pay " enormous "
costs. Somebody must. They will come out of the rich defendant's
pocket. He will be saddled with them through the erroneous ruling
which was overruled by the Law Lords. Ought he not to have some
remedy against the Judge or Judges through whose mistake he has to
bear all that expense ? In humbler spheres than the judicial, people
have to pay for the damage occasioned by their professional oversight
or nescience. But that is very hard ; as when a surgeon has done his
best to set a bone, for example, and it has gone wrong. Mishap or
misapprehension entails no such hardship on learned Judges. It is
agreeable to see any of our fellow-men. though a favoured few, exempt
from a severely rigorous liability. There is nothing like taking, if
possible, as it is with regard to the case put as above by " A Bar-
rister," a bright and cheerful view of every question.

A Thought at Willis's.

There is one toast which you are sure to hear at all Public Dinners.
It is not the Queen, nor the Rest of the Royal Family, nor the Army,
Navy, and Volunteers, nor yet the Ladies, but it is the toast of—
the evening.

Why this partiality ? Why is one division of the day constantly

An Afternoon Tea.

(A Fragment.)

" Dr. Smoothman is quite a ladies' doctor, ' so observed Mrs
Faint away.

selected for distinction in exclusion of all the rest ? Perhaps some ; „ g° ll}Gei; . f, .°,ne fy

AYETONUS EXULTANS !

" Mr. A. Seymour, who had a notice on the paper to ask the Prime Minister
a question on the decoration of the Houses of Parliament, began : I have to
ask the indulgence of the House for putting this question to the right hon.
gentleman, but the fact is, that want of courtesy on the part of tbe right hon.
Member for the Tower Hamlets—his habitual evasion and official nonchalance,
(Cries of Order.) *****

" Lokd Elcho : After the question which has just been asked, perhaps I
may venture to put a question to the First Commissioner of Works — (laughter)
—and that.is, when the model of tbe Thames Embankment, which he pro-
mised before the Easter holidays, will be on view to the Members of both
Houses within the precincts of this building ?

" Mr. Ayrton : If the noble lord who has put that question had only used
his faculties, he would have discovered that the model has already been placed
in the room he suggested, and has been waiting for seven days to be ex-
amined. (Laughter.)"

I am a British Beadle : I'm not a Roman ^Edile,

I laugh Architecture, Painting, and Sculpture all to scorn:

For raising Artists' danders, dealing " men-of-taste " back-handers,
And giving crooked answers to cross questions I was born.

I really don't imagine, since Bumbledom its badge in
High-places Parliamentary was favoured to display,

That there ever was a " party," who such detestation hearty
Had the pleasure of enjoying, as I enjoy to-day !

I'm the hedgehog of officials, so fenced about with bristles,
None touch me that can help it: and none touch me but to rue :

There is pungency in nettles : there is prickliness in thistles :
But hedgehog, nettle, thistle, ia my sole self I outdo.

That in my Whitehall Office I'm a Bear's the merest trifle ;

" Noli-me-tangere " written o'er the entrance to my den :
With a paw to claw at artists, a hug their strength to stifle,

A tongue to vent my rheum on men of pencil and of pen.

'Twas more to have made the Commons dread my length and strength
of jawing,

To have owed pay and promotion to my power of bites aud barks,
Than in my triple toughness of hide and love of clawing,
To be tyrannous to artists and terrible to clerks.

'Twas prouder still the Treasury to have made too hot to hold me,
Tc have riled Lowe past endurance, and caused Stansfeld curse
his day ;

Yet have rendered it so terrible a piece of work to scold me,
That they were fain, for quiet life, to raise my place and pay.

But now, at last, the summit of offensiveness I've got to,
Capp'd bearishness's climax—at which e'en / must stop,—

Till Members who have questions to ask me are fain not to,
So "nasty" are the answers with which into them I drop.

Then crown me King of Nuisances, with crown of the wild aloe,
For barrenness, and bitterness, and prickliness in one:

If you want to have Art crippled, Invention made lie fallow,
In public works, 'tis I'm the man to get that duty done !

Steward (sixth time) will clear up the mystery.

Song on the Situation.

Large towns, many ?
Few, if any.

Some slight row.
Plebiscitum ;
Scratch and bite 'em :

Bow, wow, wow !

Parliamentary Incident.

So chatty ! " said another.
" Never prescribes nasty things," said a third.
" Oh ! he's a duck ! " cried an enthusiastic young matron.
"You mean a quack," growled her husband, who had just seen the
doctor's bill for one year's attendance.

Departmental Jockeyship.

It has been suggested that the Jockey Club should hold an extra-
ordinary meeting, to consider the way in which General Boxer,
contriver of cartridges, has been jockeyed by the War Office, and the
nature and extent of the jockeyship which is wont to be practised upon
inventors generally who have deserved remuneration, by all govern-
ments whether Conservative or Liberal.

In the Opium debate, Mr. Gladstone challenged Sir Wilfrid
Lawson to find a substitute for the tax "I can find a substitute for T names poa qne Thing.—Admission of the Jews to Parlia-

*£e d^K. °ut M»'Iunch!?^^^V- x> Wh,aV h-sh0?ted ment-Mosaic decoration of the House of Commons,
the delighted House. Hansard! shrieked Mr. Funch, bolting from

the Sergeant. _

For the Summer Season.—A Nice Man—Gunter.

A Plum for Ayrton.—What are the worst represented parts in
London?—Tower Hamlets.