Punch (58.1870)

Mat 28, 1870.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

217

And coupled fox and cat t were chased with horn and loud halloo,
By merry outer-barristers, the Great Hall through and through.

And the Masters of the Revels, and the Master of the Game,
Led the danceof Judgeand Serjeant round the wood-fire's dancingflame;
While viol, harp, and sackbut rang out their merry peal,
And the spiced sack flowed in the loving cup till head grew light as heel.
******

f " Sir John Portescue alludes to the revels and pastimes of the Temple
in the reign of Henry the Sixth, and several ancient writers speak of the
grand Christmasses, the readers' feasts, the masques, and the sumptuous
entertainments afforded to foreign ambassadors, and even to Royalty itself.
Various dramatic shows were got up upon these occasions, and the leading
characters who figured at them were the ' Marshall of the Knights Templars,'
the Constable Marshall, the Master of the Games, the Lieutenant of the
Tower, the Ranger of the Forest, the Lord of Misrule, the King of Cockneys,
and Jack Straw !

" The Constable Marshall came into the Hall on banqueting-days ' fairly
mounted on his mule,' clotted in complete armour, with a nest of feathers of
all colours upon his helm, and a gilt poleaxe in his hand. He was attended by
halbardiers, and preceded by drums and fifes, and by sixteen trumpeters, and
devised some sport 1 for passing away the afternoon.'

" i he Master of the Game, and the Manger of the Forest, were apparelled in
green velvet and green satin, and had hunting-horns about their necks, with
which they marched round about the fire, ' blowing three blasts of venery.'

" The most remarkable of all the entertainments was the hunt in the hall,
when the Huntsman came in with his winding horn, dragging in with him a
cat, a fox, a purse-net, and nine or ten couple of hounds! The cat.and the
fox were both tied to the end of a staff, and were turned loose into the hall;
they were hunted with the dogs, amid the blowing of hunting-horns, and
were killed under the grate! ! "—Addison's History of the Templars.

And so sweeps King Misrule along: but aye, as the rout comes down,
Gaud after gaud drops off his robe, gem on gem from his crown:
Till " Merry England " sounds like a misnomer and a mock:
How should we find jestiag leisure, whose haste outruns the clock ?
******

Rut one glimpse of the blithe old times seemed granted to our day,
When to the site of the old Hall, upon a morn of May,
Tne magnates of the land, y-mix.ed with magnates of the law,—
Judges, Serjeants, and Queen's Counsel,—a-gathering we saw -.

For feasting of a Royal Prince, and, ever pleased to please,

Of our Princesses fairest where all are fair, Louise—

They come as Kings and Queens had come to these old walls of yore,

A.nd never Royalty, I ween, a fairer presence wore.

The times are hard and hasty; work drives play off-the ground ;
Life's field's all market-garden, where flowers are hardly found;
The ring of Temple revels sounds faint and far away,
The aureole rouud the Law's grey head grows dimmer day by day:

But one note of the old music from the old Hall, now laid low,
Throughthebrightbeamsandfreshpanelsofthe new Hall seemed to flow ;
One echo of the mirth wherewith the old Hall roof-tree rung,
Through the unmirthful silence of our time, methought, was flung,

That note was in Louise's voice, so musically clear,

That echo sounded in her laugh so sweet and so sincere.

If a blessing to Law's haunts and homes can any way be brought,

From such pure lips, such gentle heart, 'twas well it should be sought.

SNOBS AT THE OPERA.

ell-beloved and

Sympathisin G
Mr. Punch,

I happen to be
gifted with a musi-
cal ear (only one,
you notice : folks
have seldom two,
I fancy), and as
my wife is vain
enough to think
she has another,
we often pay a
visit and a guinea
to the opera. Not
being swells, we
don't mind owning
that we go to hear
the music, and not
merely to show our-
selves, and chatter,
and be stared at.
Whatever inter-
rupts our hearing
we consider a great
nuisance, aud one
that robs us of a
pleasure which we
pay for pretty
dearly and in just-
ice should enjoy.

Now, the small talk of the swells is most undoubtedly annoying, but
in a measure one expects to hear it at the Opera, which has ever beeu
regarded as a fashionable lounge. Other nuisances, however, I notice
are increasing, and I think they should be checked. The swells are
bad enough offenders in their way, but in some respects the snobs are
certainly far worse. Let me describe one or two who have most
recently annoyed me.

To begin with, there's the snob who makes believe to be a critic,
and who worries me, by whispering to the friend who sits beside him
about imaginary blemishes which he pretends he can detect. While
you are drinking in your Patti or your Nilsson with all your eyes
and ears, you may overhear him muttering, " That flute's a half-tone
flat! " or " Trashy stuff, this rmuic : won't do after GlUck ! "

Then too there's the snob who pretends he's an habitue, and tries to
act the character by lolling in his stall, and listening in a languid way,
as though he knew each note of the opera by heart. This snob annoys
his neighbours by giving himself more airs than they will hear from
the performers, and by his fidgeting in his stall and staring round the
house in the middle of a song, or going out for ices in the middle of
an Act.

_ Again, there is the snob who makes pretence to be a musical enthu-
siast, and plagues you by his beating time quite audibly aud visibly,
often keeping up a noisy pedal accompaniment by stamping with his
feet. This sort of snob is also a great waggler of his head to the rhythm
of the music, and fidgets you by motions like those of the old-fashioned
blue pot-bellied china figures, which inquiring little boys were sure to
set a-shaking, and finally to smash.

Besides, there is the snob whose only music in his soul is that of
vulgar music-halls and lamp-blacked nigger minstrelsy. Between the
acts he hums the " toons," as he most probably would call them,
which are now most popular with snobs of his persuasion, and, if he be
not sharply checked, will murmur " Walking in the Zoo" in the
garden scene of Faust.

In addition to these nuisances, the snob somniferous annoys me by
snoring in the middle of La ci darem, for instance, and by distracting
my attention to his nodding in his stall in a way that seems to threaten
his tumbling headlong out of it. This stalled-ox is in general a beefy
sort of person, but truth would not be wanting if I called him a stalled
ass.

Then I must denounce the enthusiastic snob who commits the vulgar
outrage of applauding prematurely any singer he admires, and thus
robbing sober hearers of the last chords of accompaniment which the
composer wrote to put a proper finish to the song. Snobs such as he
annoy me by shouting " Bis ! " or " Bravo ! " at the instant when a
singer has uttered his last note, without waiting till the music of the
orchestra has ceased.

Finally, 1 come to the applausive snob who always applauds at the
wrong time, and calls out " By Jove, that's fine ! " at what is either
not especially commendable, or indeed is something worthy rather to
be hissed. This sort of snob is a great swindler in encores, which he
seizes every opportunity to force. At such times he will nudge his
neighbour with his elbow, and incite him to vociferate, and thus tire
the ears of all who wish to keep their hearing fresh. The applausive
snob is also pretty certain to be loud in his applause of a loud note,
and thus encourage mere shouting in lieu of real song.

There are many other opera-and-concert-haunting snobs, who are
nightly a great nuisance to persons like myself, whose nerves quiver to
good music, and when beneath its influence cannot bear much irrita-
tion. Pray, Sir, help to pass an A.ct for the removal of such nuisances,
and prevent the Would-be Critics, and the Lollers, and the Time-
thumpers, and the Hummers and the Head-wagglers and the Stampers
and the Shouters and the Snorers and Bncorers, from disturbing the
serenity of quiet listeners like Yours

Apollo Solon Smith.

Mental Athletic Sports.

Yesterday was held, on their recently assumed premises, the first
weekly meeting of the Intellectual Gymnasts, a Society principally
consisting of Geologists, and Physiological Philosophers. Several
eminent and popular Professors, whom ir, would be invidious to name,
exhibited the most wonderful capability of jumping at conclusions.