Punch (63.1872)

PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 3, 1872.

THE SCOTCH SHOW AT SYDENHAM.

ne day last week a
Grand Scottish. Fete
and Gathering of the
Clans came off at the
Crystal Palace, and
among the prizes
that were dressed.

begin married life by setting a bad example myself of extravagance
to the partner of my income. Never at any time, now or hereafter
to make such a mistake as that, Mr. Punch, trust yours truly,
howsoever, Uxorius.

P.S. My love suggests that an inch of boudoir candle would do
perfectly well with boudoir save-alls tinted to match, if they were
only long enough.

and danced and TALK AGAINST TIME,

dirked, and thrust,

and thrown, and Great cry you say, and little wool,

tossed, and run. In Parliament you find.

and leaped, and Indeed, that's true enough, Johk Bull,

jumped, and skirled, But therefore never mind.

and shrieked, and;

squeaked, and The tongues that time consume m prate

Afford not any cause
For grief to those who fear, and hate,
Unnecessary laws.

schreeehed, and
piped and bibroched
for, by native Scotch
competitors, was a
purse to be awarded
'' to the Best Dressed

By Session after Session closed
Each twelvemonths, on our backs,
Highlander, to be Some new restraint has been imposed,

dressed at his own 0r some vexatious tax.

expense. 0 let the flood of words not cease!
. As modern lash- For, whilst that deluge pours,

ions quickly change, Qur le islators can>t increaSe

£ ieeiT * S j 18 I Our burdens and our bores,

difhcuft to find a

Scotchman now-a- ; Our liberties, until they 've spent

Nor make our pleasures less.

days who, ancient as it is, can be perfect in his dress ; and indeed, i Their talk, they can't repress ;

considering how fond he is of snuff, it may safely be asserted that, '{ Our imposts they*can not augment,
whatever garb he wears, there is sure to be a mull in it. But though
he generally is up to snuff, your Highlander by no means is a per-
son to be sneezed at. And this mentioning of snuff reminds us of
the Scottish figures who adorn our snuff-shops. Were these High-

landers suffered to compete for the prize of the best dressed P They! PROGRESS v. POTHOUSE,
would certainly have increased the attractions of the show, and their Oherd Mister Puis en

presence there might have exercised a beneficial influence on their, i ' j much of * Scollard, being nawthun but a Hodman.

!L5rlle?];A1lihl^P™I1fc°t!:„ ;4!te^™JLf ^ Pj0^8.^: I Howsever I can make shift to read a noosepaper a bit, and this ere I*

found in an old un as I picked up. The great Lord Archbishop
Masking he've bein saying in a lectur about Progress respectin
Peple sich as me :—

need hardly say how vastly we admire them, and how deeply we
deplore their departure from the doorways they used formerly to
grace, for we have grieved of late to notice that they yearly are de-
creasing. They are among the sculptural ornaments of London, and

we need not sav that we have not too many statues on which we! " He had never seen the peasants of France and Italy without observing;

can gaze with pleasure and with pride.

LUXURIES FOR LADIES.

Me. Punch,

The subjoined extract from a daily paper, in which it is

their intelligence, their brightness of eye, and their quickness of step ; but
"when he saw the labourers of England, and especially of London, they seemed
to be materialistic, imbruted, dull-eyed, heavy, lumbering, and in an almost
stupified state. . . . This state of things he attributed to the prosperity and
materialism of England."

I carnt say much for furriners, aving never been among em,
exceptin horgangrinders and them fellers with the bagpipes as wear

likely to catch the bright eyes of a very considerable number of formats on their showders and go a capering in the streets. Their
ladies, would reallv, but for a slight omission, look very much like stePs aint none the quickest, cept when a Crusher s arter em—but

prehaps they amt fair sarmples and so 1 pass em by, which folkses
mostly do. But when I ears as English labrers are heavy lumbering
louts, livin a'most stuperfied and matterelistic as they say, why
thinks i if we be stuperfied it aint becors as England is in a prosprus
state, but becors we ve bin a drinking adulterated Beer. A man as
swallers drugs i'stead o' malt and ops he aint likely to look bright
i'd or remarkable hintelligent, being as he is arf pisoned with the
dose. Jest you reform the Licker Laws, and make it Penal Suvvi-
tude to serve us with bad beer, and depend on't British workmen
ull be as bright and active as the Harchbishop hisself, which they
say he drinks but Adam's ale and not too much of even that. So I
remain yours to comand for jobs of bricklayin or plasterin.

an advertisement, wouldn't it ?—

" The Ladies' Boudoir Candles.—These elegant candles (manufactured
by, let us say, Messrs. Glim) are carved in the pattern of a cable, and tinted
in the most delicate shades of rose, green, lavender, &c. are beyond question
the most striking and beautiful candles ever produced. They may be obtained
from all dealers in boxes of three, four, and five candles each."

At how much per box ? This is the little particular omitted. It
may not much signify to every fair reader, but I know one who
would have been gratified by the information which the foregoing
announcement fails to supply. Although in my eyes she excels all
the rest of her sex, so much that I believe there is not another
woman in the world equal to her, yet I am impartial enough to
suppose that the generality resemble her pretty nearly in one \ william foTUBBS A Ms mark

admirable quality, or perhaps it would be correct to say combina- ' ----- -- --

tion of qualities, the disposition to blend economy with elegance. 1
My wife, Sir, I know, would enjoy the occupation of dressing for
dinner (solely to please me) before a glass reflecting the fairest face
in the world, all the more if her mirror were flanked by a pair of the
pretty candles above described. But then, Mr. Punch, she is too
rational to wish to purchase this additional pleasure at too high a
price. She is. She is quite content to dress by common candles,
but, if tinted ones were not a farthing more expensive, would prefer
the tinted. She would never dream of sending to the dealer's and
ordering a box of coloured candles, or any other articles, in ignorance
of their price : but in this particular of carefulness, I cannot suppose
her to be singular; for, surely, it is a point of common prudence
with her sex at large. As we were married only yesterday, I think
of treating her with a box of those Boudoir Candles, if on inquiry at
the Italian shop I find them reasonable; but, even in these early
days of the honey-moon, am not going to buy a pig in a poke and

Lines to My Love.

Nik ety- five in the shade !
Bring me iced lemonade
Dashed with brandy, and some
Small admixture of rum.
Let me smoke my Havannah;
While you play the pian-ah !

On a Marriage.

( With Mr. Punch's kindest Wishes.)

For taking wrongful time ne'er chidden, nor " goosed,'
Yet, in July, fair Nilsson takes her Auguste.