Punch: Punch (83.1882)

90

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 26, 1882.

I

TANTAUSING-VERY !

“WHEN ‘CETE’ GOES MARCHING HOME!”

It is generally understood that the ex-King of Zululand will he restored to his Sovereignty
on the following conditions :—

1. Cetewayo undertakes to do his best to secure, as compagnons du voyage, Sir Wllfbid
Lawson, Mr. Blunt, Mr. Ashmead Babtlett, Lord Elcho, and the Council of the Church
and State Guild.

2. He also promises to make Collections for the Royal College of Music, and to hold a
Fancy Bazaar in its behalf.

3. He agrees to find space in his own land for the re-erection (after they have been taken
down in London) of the Byron Memorial, the Temple Bar Dragon, and, although last,
certainly not the least, the Hyde Park Wellington Statue.

4. He will open a Zulu branch of a London Industrial School, and guarantees that the
children shall he as well treated in the one as in the other, this in spite of South African
customs and prejudices.

5. He will give an account of his journey to England to all his people (in a long country
tour), with the assistance of dissolving views and a piano.

6. He will learn to play the National Anthem upon the Makarow-Bangbang; or, Native
African penny-whistle.

7. He wRl pay his subscription punctually
to the Royal United Service Institution.

8. He will he careful not to quarrel with
the Boers, and will avoid eating Mis-
sionaries as much as possible.

9. He will order Bishop Colenso to
attend to his own business,

10. He will square John Dunn, the
Colonial Legislature, and everyone else
inclined to be nasty.

11. He will wear a shirt-collar (with his
native costume—blanket and feather) on
the Lord Mayor’s Day, and other state
occasions.

12. And before all, and above all, he j
“ will never come back no more.”

YOU 'LL RESUME!

Aib (more or less)—“ Ulalicme.”
Premier sings—

I had passed through a Session Satanic,

And Irish, with “Pussy,” sleek Peer.
Those were the days of explosion volcanic,.

The nights of delirium drear,

Long speeches, and labours Titanic,

Pat outrage, Egyptian panic,

Rude ruction, Obstruction, and fear,
French shirking, and shyness Germanic—

A most unforgettable year !

The Session, in fact, was a twister,

Had filled us with doubt and with gloom ; j
But we ’d got to the end of its vista,*

For starry-eyed Hope there seemed room. ]
We could flee from Big Ben’s heavy boom. j
Yet Forecast, Hope’s heavy-browed sister,
Kept whispering words of dark doom I

In my ear, “You’ll resume! You’ll
resume! !

In two months from to-day, you ’ll j
resume! ” <

“We are off!” Pussy cried. “This is j

pleasant! . j

How jolly ! From Westminster far ! ”
“Ah, precisely,” said I, “/or the present!'1
Cried he, “ What a croaker you are!

What a—well Grand old Croaker you are !
Let us think of the grouse and the pheasant,
And not of St. Stephen’s war.

Of popping at partridge and pheasant,

Not worry, and Waeton, and war.”

Then I said, “My dear Pussy, be sober !

Remember we ’re bound to be here
By the end of the month of October,

Of this unforgettable year—

By the twenty-fourth day of October.

This very identical year.

Ha! doesn’t that make you feel queer?”

“We shall yet have to work, Puss, like
winking.

Tourists ? Cloture-ists also I trust.
Obstruction to fight without shrinking
Will call us all back—come we must,

To St. Stephens’s shindy and dust.”

“ Oh. hang it! ” cried Puss, his face sinking;

“ That bothering Cloture be - bust! ”

Then I pacified Pussy, and chid him
For giving vulgarity room.

And he promised to do as I bid him, j

But there passed o’er his features a
gloom—

A settled and sable-hued gloom—

As black as the pall o’er a tomb.

And I said- of it hoping to rid him—

“Dear Puss, what’s the cause of this
gloom?”

He replied, “You’ll resume! You’ll
resume !

’Tis the thought of those words, You’ll
resume! ”

* Cockney rh\ me for which the Premier-Poet’8
present model Edqak Poe, is responsible.