Punch: Punch (83.1882)

November 4, 1882.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

2i5

A CATCH ON THE COMET.

Tune—Popular and Convivial.

We wouldn't go home till morning,
Till quite the early morning,

So early in the morning

That daylight didn’t appear.
The sky of clouds was clear ;
All right were we—no fear!
And then we saw the Comet,
Distinctly saw the Comet,

Had a capital sight of the Comet,
In the cloudless atmosphere.

Down south-east, near the horizon,
Our homeward way a surprise on ;
The finest we ever set eyes on,
With glowing nucle-us.

And tail in the sky up-streaming,
A goodly distance gleaming,

With roseate radiance beaming,
So splendorife-rous!

With a hip, hip, hip, hooray !
Before the break of day.

For that’s a jolly good Comet!
For that’s a jolly good Comet!
Yes, that’s a jolly good Comet!
And so say all of us !

Hip, hip, hooray, &c.

(Da capo ad libitum.)

PUNCH'S FANCY PORTRAITS.—No. 108.

Suggestion for the London-
Ghatham-and-over-we-Go Co.
^—Painting in oils. Successful
attempt in Aberdeen Harbour.
Why not the sea-passage between
Dover and Calais with oil-cloth P
Then, in the very roughest
weather, there will always be
peace between the two countries.
On the other band, as any Tunnel
must be draughty, the existence
of the Channel Tunnel would
imply a continued coldness be-
tween England and France. The
oil by oil means. Let the London,
Chatham and Dover start this
olive-oil-branch line.

GLORY!

The Immediate Beneficial Re-
sults of the Recent Campaign are
Banquets, of course, with Head-
aches to follow.

The Household Troops will be
invited to see a morning perform-
ance of a Shakspearian piece,
with a new Actress in it, at the
Imperial.

The Guards will be given free
admissions to see a Sensation
Drama at an East-End Theatre,
and Fun on the Bristol, at the
Olympic.

The Household Troops will
be invited to see the Giantess
Mabian, and to a performance of
Pluck, in the second week of
December.

Professor Pheebbe will invite
the Guards and Household Troops
to hear his entertainment (with
piano accompaniment) at the
Storr Street Hall.

Wearers of the Queen’s Uniform
will be admitted, on payment of
the usual price, to the Pavilion,
Troeadero, and other Music-
Halls.

Such Rewards as these are
indeed worth fighting for.

M. GOUNOD,

The Popular Composer of Faust.

Chacun a son Gounod.’

Fine Subject fob Wagner.—
“The School-Board Ring and the
Hoard of John Bull.” Mrs.
Miller would probab) y be pleased
to supply a vigorous libretto, and
the opportunities for cacophony
and crashing effects would delight
even the author of the Music of
the Future. Imagine what a
startling development of the new
Art of Scientific Shindy might be
suggested to “the Master” by
such a theme as ‘ ‘ The Saving oj
the Bates.”

Desdemona. Then who fought against you P Who wounded you ?

Othello. Oh, the men. They were capital chaps,—stood up and
got shot like bricks. The Johnny who potted me was only two
yards off.

Desdemona. Did you fall on him F

Othello. I fell, but not on him. I fell on my own face.

Desdemona. Then he escaped ?

Othello. No. A sportsman behind me shoved his bayonet in him.

Desdemona. Then he was killed ?

Othello. Well—he didn’t seem to be going strong at the finish.

Desdemona. Did you really kill enemies yourself F

Othello. Couldn’t help it. If I hadn’t killed them, it was about
six to four they’d have killed me.

Desdemona. Dreadful! How delighted you must have been to
get back to London !

Othello. One is always delighted to get back to the Village.

Desdemona. Of course your family were awfully proud of you on
your return P

Othello. I don’t run to a family ; I only keep a father.

Desdemona. His joy must have been the greater, then, at wel-
coming home an only child !

Othello. I dare say it really was; but the old boy has been
soldiering himself, and doesn’t think the present lot of Generals
within 21 lbs. of a really good one. He is under the idea that if Sir
Garnet had had really the interests of his men at heart, he would
have kept them in Egypt till after the Houghton. And, mind you,
the old boy is about right as far as I am concerned ; for whether it
was the heavy going, or whether it was the postponement, I backed
about a hundred and fifty horses for the Cambridgeshire, and didn’t
get in the first three.

Desdemona. Oh, that is the horse-racing at Newmarket you are
talking about. But to return to this dreadful war. Did you, when
you came back home, find many alterations, many changes, in those
you had left behind ?

Othello. Rather. Little Connie Gilchrist isn’t playing at the
Gaiety. Arthur Roberts, you know, isn’t at the Pavilion, and
the Sisters Leamar have left the Royal.

Desdemona. Do you know, by the bye, that all the time we’ve
been talking I have not known your name. One always hears one’s
own in an introduction, and that, ’s all.

Othello. I am generally called Bill, hut I was christened Alger-
non FiTZBOT PuiNTAGENET CrOWNDALE.

Desdemona. Oh ! Why I read, of you, and of the great brave
thing you did at Tel-el-Kebir, in saving the life of a wounded
private. I read about your arrival at Portsmouth. Weren’t you
proud to read how the papers spoke of you ?

Othello. Well, perhaps I should have been if I had been the only
Johnny able to read ; but unfortunately they over-educate the Jews,
and there was a regular army of writters to meet me.

Desdemona. But what are writters ?

Othello. Why, sportsmen with writs.

Desdemona. I don’t know what writs are.

Othello. You must lead a very sad and lonely life.

Desdemona. Why ?

Othello. Well, you can’t have a father or any brothers, or-

Desdemona. I have. (Music recommences.) Oh, there’s that

stupid Mr. Smith ; and it’s a quadrille-

Othello. Let’s sit it out!

[.Exeunt Othello and Desdemona. Subsequently Othello
goes home, hit hard, and wondering how he can contrive t&
live within his income.

New Reading.

{By a Member of the Farmers’ Alliance.)

What moves the Tory Nobs, the cold Whig Cowards F
Alas ! not all the Bills of all the Howards.