DOI issue:
April 7, 1860
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16865#0147
April 7, I860.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 130
those recesses, upon -which we have laid out large sums, as Ship-traps
and Wreck-pools, which it is very pleasant to hear, whether one is a
tax-payer on land or a voyager by sea.
Tuesday. The Spaniards have had enough of fighting with the Moors,
! and a telegram announcing a peace had arrived, out Government knew
j nothing more than the newspapers. They seldom know as much, as
I was signally exemplified in the case of Mr. Wilson, and the all-important
: Indian budget, which the Times had got when the Ministry had not.
The Fourth Estate is better served than the Second.
Tne Commons amused themselves with one of those debates in which
duty to one’s country is made pleasant by a flavour of personal scandal.
The affair lasted all night, but Mr. Punch has a juster notion of what
! is due to the world and to The Ages than to waste proportionate space
upon the squabble. Mr. Church ward, mail-packet owner, had
| served the late Government, by corruption, at an election, so the
present Government refuse to ratify a mail contract thought. to have
been given him on account of such service. After an acrimonious
I debate, 162 to 117 decided in favour of Government.
Wednesday. Trelawney on Church Kates. His Bill for their
total abolition made some further progress in the House of Commons
towards its doom in the House of Lords. There was a row in the
Conservative camp, and Mr. Newdegate, to the wrath of less uncom-
promising friends, made what he thought was a fight for the Church,
j and found himself in a splendid minority of 19 to 222, whereat he blew
! up uncommon.
Thursday. Lord Ellenborottgh did not approve either of Mr.
Wilson’s Indian Army Abolition scheme, or of his Taxation scheme.
The Doke of Argyll insisted on the absolute necessity and wisdom
of both, and something of the same sort took place in the Commons,
and in both Houses the papers were refused. Lord Palmerston said
i that the affair was an Imperial question, which was probably his
reason for an Imperious answer. Prcehet odoratas discolor India messes,
remarked Mr. Punch to the Wiscount, to which the latter promptly
responded, “Yes, indeed, India is always in messes of one kind or
another.” In the course of the debate Colonel North termed some-
thing said by Mr. Bright as “ wilfully erroneous in (scarcely) other
words charged him with a deliberate lie. Now, the gallant Colonel is
one of the Swell Soldiers of the House, who are always awfully
bumptious when a civilian ventures an opinion on the conduct of any
of the people whom we pay to fight for us, and of whom we seem to
have a sort of right to expect that they shall earn their money in a
proper manner. Now we own that when a man or a gamecock is in
high fighting condition, he is apt to be a little owdacious,. and we
should be sorry to damp the spirits of Yalour. But we think, and
Lord Palmerston (who reproved North) thought, that charging a
gentleman with telling a wilful lie is unpeu trop fort. Colonel North
signs himself D.C.L.—we should be sorry to write in our Dod that
this means Dealer in Coarse Language. Mr. Lindsay carried an
address to ask the Queen to ask Electus to ask his shipowners to
agree to the abolition of all discriminating duties upon vessels and
cargoes of either nation in the ports of the other. Mr. Milner
Gibson gravely promised to try to obtain this object, at a proper
| time.
. Some Bills for improving Ireland in some way or other were then
discussed, as was a Pawnbroker Bill. It seems that our Uncles don’t
find it pay to advance very small loans, because they get nothing for
the Duplicate, and warehousing is expensive, so they send away the
poor to unlicensed Mounts of Piety, where the pious mountaineers charge
t he unfortunate creatures about 800 per cent, in their need and famish.
So Uncle is to be tempted to advance, by leave to charge a Halfpenny
on his tickets for small amounts. Mr. Edwin James spoke up for the
unlicensed mountaineers, but could get only 32 supporters against 178.
The debate was very brief, Members being rather in a hurry to get
away from conversation on the subject of the redemption of pledges.
Friday. A Chinese debate in the Lords, begun by Earl Grey, who
has strong convictions that we are going the wrong way to work with
the Pig-Tails. The Dure of Somerset, as Minister, denied this, and
' declared that we were bound to avenge insults. Lord Malmesbury
thought it absurd to be one day treating a Chinaman as a savage and
the next as a civilised party. Lord Elgin took a sort of leave of his
aristocratic friends, and said that he was going off to do his best in
China, and rather hoped to be able to obtain terms without fighting.
He was determined, however, that we should have an Ambassador in
Pekin, and Mr. Punch inclines to suggest that when the Benician
has been polished off by Sir Thomas De Sayers (if the police do
not grab them), these two gentlemen had better be established in Pekin,
as the most effective representatives of America and England. Lord
Ellenborough laid all the blame of China troubles to Mammon, as
personified by our merchants and traders, and said that he had not,
when Governor-General of India, dared to publish the accounts he had
received of the sufferings of the Chinese by our war of 1842. Lord
Grey then took the opportunity of blushing for the conduct of
Englishmen in Japan, and the matter ended. The Lords rose after
hearing that Mr. Whitworth’s awful gun was to have the fullest
and fairest trials by the Government, who had been duly impressed
“ By that huge cannon’s earthquake shout.”
The Commons discussed Most Things—but not one thing. The
unfortunate Reform Bill was once more postponed, and Government
would not at first even say on what day after Easter they intended to
bring it forth to the House, but finally named the 20th April. Whereat
there was much jeering. As for the Conversazione, there was a
squabble about the appointment of an Irish Lord-Lieutenant, a Mr.
Lyle (a descendant of Annot Lyle for aught we know, or care) and
Lord Eermoy announced that Ireland was disaffected, and might
soon like to be transferred to somebody else than Queen Yictoria,
after the fashion of an Italian state. Do the Irish want to take
another leaf out of a Cabbage Garden? We hope they will not drive
Mr. Punch into sending over half a dozen of the above-bridge Thames
steamers to keep them in order. After some equally unimportant
matter, Sir Robert Peel,—upon whom Mr. Punch's paternal casti-
gation has worked in the happiest manner,—delivered a very dashing
speech, decidedly not in honour of Electus. It was full of good hits,
and among them was his likening the behaviour of L. N., in re Savoy,
to that of Ahab, in re Naboth’s vineyard. He might have added,
that, though the gentle and beautiful wife of Electus is entirely “out
of the cast,” as actors say, there is an abominable Jezebel who “ stirs -
up” French rulers to crime, and that painted fiend is the greedy, pro-
fane, and cruel Traviata whom the French call La Gloire. There is
no window so high that Civilisation would not like to see her thrown
down from, to her own war-hounds.
A spirited Budget Debate ended the week, a formal Saturday
sitting excepted. Our Wiscount tried to exempt incomes under :
£150 from taxation. Very right in itself; but we do not want
little bits of injustice corrected while the grand injustice remains,
and the more this is felt the better. Therefore, and therefore only,
Mr. Punch is glad that the W. was defeated by 171 to 21. Mr.
Disraeli gave Mr. Gladstone a severe lecture on his Immorality, in
enforcing a tax he had himself bitterly abused ; and the time-bargains
business coming up again, Mr. Gladstone saw fit to withdraw his
clause, but threatened a Bill for the same purpose. What in the
world did the Lord Advocate mean by introducing a Bill “to amend
the relationship of Scotch husbands and wives?” Mr. Punchyias so
astounded, that he rushed from the House to drown his perplexity in a
glass of vvhuskey.
A CORRECTION OF THE (IMPERIAL) PRESS.
When lickspittles would praise
The Emp’ror of France,
To immense “savoir faire”
His claim they advance
Now, that ground of applause
Should be changed by a letter ;
Since Savoy has been done,
“ Savoiefaire” would read better.
Kindness in Pall Mall.
In consequence of the awful distress into which the Paper Makers
say they shall be plunged by the continuance of the prohibition on the
import of rags, a certain Pall Mall Club has resolved that every Paper-
Maker shall henceforth bean honorary member of the Rag-and-Fannsh.
EVIL EXCOMMUNICATIONS IMPROVE GOOD MANNERS.
Should the Pope persist in driving his Bull against Victor
Emmanuel, there will only be this difference between him and Louis
Napoleon—the one will be Monsieur Communique, and the other
Monsieur Excommunique.
A GREAT GUN AND A LITTLE ONE.
The main difference between Sir W. Armstrong’s twelve-pounder
and Lord John Russell’s six-pounder is that—
The first is not a Whit-worth, .
The second is not Worth-a-whit.
violets for volunteers.
Exposed for sale in a -window the other day, we observed a scent-
bottle, labelled “Rifle Corps Bouquet.” Surely the odour of this
comuound can be no other than the smell of gunpowder.
The Great Revival of the Day.—Italy.
those recesses, upon -which we have laid out large sums, as Ship-traps
and Wreck-pools, which it is very pleasant to hear, whether one is a
tax-payer on land or a voyager by sea.
Tuesday. The Spaniards have had enough of fighting with the Moors,
! and a telegram announcing a peace had arrived, out Government knew
j nothing more than the newspapers. They seldom know as much, as
I was signally exemplified in the case of Mr. Wilson, and the all-important
: Indian budget, which the Times had got when the Ministry had not.
The Fourth Estate is better served than the Second.
Tne Commons amused themselves with one of those debates in which
duty to one’s country is made pleasant by a flavour of personal scandal.
The affair lasted all night, but Mr. Punch has a juster notion of what
! is due to the world and to The Ages than to waste proportionate space
upon the squabble. Mr. Church ward, mail-packet owner, had
| served the late Government, by corruption, at an election, so the
present Government refuse to ratify a mail contract thought. to have
been given him on account of such service. After an acrimonious
I debate, 162 to 117 decided in favour of Government.
Wednesday. Trelawney on Church Kates. His Bill for their
total abolition made some further progress in the House of Commons
towards its doom in the House of Lords. There was a row in the
Conservative camp, and Mr. Newdegate, to the wrath of less uncom-
promising friends, made what he thought was a fight for the Church,
j and found himself in a splendid minority of 19 to 222, whereat he blew
! up uncommon.
Thursday. Lord Ellenborottgh did not approve either of Mr.
Wilson’s Indian Army Abolition scheme, or of his Taxation scheme.
The Doke of Argyll insisted on the absolute necessity and wisdom
of both, and something of the same sort took place in the Commons,
and in both Houses the papers were refused. Lord Palmerston said
i that the affair was an Imperial question, which was probably his
reason for an Imperious answer. Prcehet odoratas discolor India messes,
remarked Mr. Punch to the Wiscount, to which the latter promptly
responded, “Yes, indeed, India is always in messes of one kind or
another.” In the course of the debate Colonel North termed some-
thing said by Mr. Bright as “ wilfully erroneous in (scarcely) other
words charged him with a deliberate lie. Now, the gallant Colonel is
one of the Swell Soldiers of the House, who are always awfully
bumptious when a civilian ventures an opinion on the conduct of any
of the people whom we pay to fight for us, and of whom we seem to
have a sort of right to expect that they shall earn their money in a
proper manner. Now we own that when a man or a gamecock is in
high fighting condition, he is apt to be a little owdacious,. and we
should be sorry to damp the spirits of Yalour. But we think, and
Lord Palmerston (who reproved North) thought, that charging a
gentleman with telling a wilful lie is unpeu trop fort. Colonel North
signs himself D.C.L.—we should be sorry to write in our Dod that
this means Dealer in Coarse Language. Mr. Lindsay carried an
address to ask the Queen to ask Electus to ask his shipowners to
agree to the abolition of all discriminating duties upon vessels and
cargoes of either nation in the ports of the other. Mr. Milner
Gibson gravely promised to try to obtain this object, at a proper
| time.
. Some Bills for improving Ireland in some way or other were then
discussed, as was a Pawnbroker Bill. It seems that our Uncles don’t
find it pay to advance very small loans, because they get nothing for
the Duplicate, and warehousing is expensive, so they send away the
poor to unlicensed Mounts of Piety, where the pious mountaineers charge
t he unfortunate creatures about 800 per cent, in their need and famish.
So Uncle is to be tempted to advance, by leave to charge a Halfpenny
on his tickets for small amounts. Mr. Edwin James spoke up for the
unlicensed mountaineers, but could get only 32 supporters against 178.
The debate was very brief, Members being rather in a hurry to get
away from conversation on the subject of the redemption of pledges.
Friday. A Chinese debate in the Lords, begun by Earl Grey, who
has strong convictions that we are going the wrong way to work with
the Pig-Tails. The Dure of Somerset, as Minister, denied this, and
' declared that we were bound to avenge insults. Lord Malmesbury
thought it absurd to be one day treating a Chinaman as a savage and
the next as a civilised party. Lord Elgin took a sort of leave of his
aristocratic friends, and said that he was going off to do his best in
China, and rather hoped to be able to obtain terms without fighting.
He was determined, however, that we should have an Ambassador in
Pekin, and Mr. Punch inclines to suggest that when the Benician
has been polished off by Sir Thomas De Sayers (if the police do
not grab them), these two gentlemen had better be established in Pekin,
as the most effective representatives of America and England. Lord
Ellenborough laid all the blame of China troubles to Mammon, as
personified by our merchants and traders, and said that he had not,
when Governor-General of India, dared to publish the accounts he had
received of the sufferings of the Chinese by our war of 1842. Lord
Grey then took the opportunity of blushing for the conduct of
Englishmen in Japan, and the matter ended. The Lords rose after
hearing that Mr. Whitworth’s awful gun was to have the fullest
and fairest trials by the Government, who had been duly impressed
“ By that huge cannon’s earthquake shout.”
The Commons discussed Most Things—but not one thing. The
unfortunate Reform Bill was once more postponed, and Government
would not at first even say on what day after Easter they intended to
bring it forth to the House, but finally named the 20th April. Whereat
there was much jeering. As for the Conversazione, there was a
squabble about the appointment of an Irish Lord-Lieutenant, a Mr.
Lyle (a descendant of Annot Lyle for aught we know, or care) and
Lord Eermoy announced that Ireland was disaffected, and might
soon like to be transferred to somebody else than Queen Yictoria,
after the fashion of an Italian state. Do the Irish want to take
another leaf out of a Cabbage Garden? We hope they will not drive
Mr. Punch into sending over half a dozen of the above-bridge Thames
steamers to keep them in order. After some equally unimportant
matter, Sir Robert Peel,—upon whom Mr. Punch's paternal casti-
gation has worked in the happiest manner,—delivered a very dashing
speech, decidedly not in honour of Electus. It was full of good hits,
and among them was his likening the behaviour of L. N., in re Savoy,
to that of Ahab, in re Naboth’s vineyard. He might have added,
that, though the gentle and beautiful wife of Electus is entirely “out
of the cast,” as actors say, there is an abominable Jezebel who “ stirs -
up” French rulers to crime, and that painted fiend is the greedy, pro-
fane, and cruel Traviata whom the French call La Gloire. There is
no window so high that Civilisation would not like to see her thrown
down from, to her own war-hounds.
A spirited Budget Debate ended the week, a formal Saturday
sitting excepted. Our Wiscount tried to exempt incomes under :
£150 from taxation. Very right in itself; but we do not want
little bits of injustice corrected while the grand injustice remains,
and the more this is felt the better. Therefore, and therefore only,
Mr. Punch is glad that the W. was defeated by 171 to 21. Mr.
Disraeli gave Mr. Gladstone a severe lecture on his Immorality, in
enforcing a tax he had himself bitterly abused ; and the time-bargains
business coming up again, Mr. Gladstone saw fit to withdraw his
clause, but threatened a Bill for the same purpose. What in the
world did the Lord Advocate mean by introducing a Bill “to amend
the relationship of Scotch husbands and wives?” Mr. Punchyias so
astounded, that he rushed from the House to drown his perplexity in a
glass of vvhuskey.
A CORRECTION OF THE (IMPERIAL) PRESS.
When lickspittles would praise
The Emp’ror of France,
To immense “savoir faire”
His claim they advance
Now, that ground of applause
Should be changed by a letter ;
Since Savoy has been done,
“ Savoiefaire” would read better.
Kindness in Pall Mall.
In consequence of the awful distress into which the Paper Makers
say they shall be plunged by the continuance of the prohibition on the
import of rags, a certain Pall Mall Club has resolved that every Paper-
Maker shall henceforth bean honorary member of the Rag-and-Fannsh.
EVIL EXCOMMUNICATIONS IMPROVE GOOD MANNERS.
Should the Pope persist in driving his Bull against Victor
Emmanuel, there will only be this difference between him and Louis
Napoleon—the one will be Monsieur Communique, and the other
Monsieur Excommunique.
A GREAT GUN AND A LITTLE ONE.
The main difference between Sir W. Armstrong’s twelve-pounder
and Lord John Russell’s six-pounder is that—
The first is not a Whit-worth, .
The second is not Worth-a-whit.
violets for volunteers.
Exposed for sale in a -window the other day, we observed a scent-
bottle, labelled “Rifle Corps Bouquet.” Surely the odour of this
comuound can be no other than the smell of gunpowder.
The Great Revival of the Day.—Italy.