DOI Heft:
July 28, 1860
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16866#0047
July 28, I860.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
39
came to grief through their extravagance, their rivalry reminds us of
the swell fro? in the fable, who, as
'.PERSON OF DISTINCTION. PROBABLY A
BEADLE. CLOSY OF THE THIRTEENTH
CENTURY.
cherished beard, with dirty water
we remember, fell a sacrifice to
swelling.
But great as was their dandyism,
we need say but little of it, for the
fashions were 'but very little varied
in this reign, and the costume of
both nobs and snobs was like that
of their grandfathers. The only
novelty worth note was that the
cloak-hood or capuchon which had
been worn a la cowl, was often fan-
cifully twisted and worn a la toque.
In some cases, however, it was
simply folded and balanced on the
brain-pan, as the women of the Pays
de Basque bask in it in summer-
time even to this day. From the
head-dress to the head being no
great step, we may add here, that the
hair was curled with monstrous
care, and that beards were only
worn by old fogies and knights
templars, and great, officers of state.
That the king wore one we think
we scarcely need to state, for
doubtless everybody knows how
he was bearded on his way to the
Castle of Caernarvon; when they
who had the charge of him pulled
up by the roadside and shaved his
and no soap.
“ M133 Flip.tington haxl hoped to make good use of the Eclipse by managing a
tete-ii-tite with Loss Fitz-Waltek Ca<3sus, who had unwarily arranged to join her
family at Richmond. In their progress to the Park she skilfully contrived to
secure him as her escort, and had the obscuration been as great as she expected,
perhaps the hooking of his fortune might have been one of its effects. There was,
however, so provoking a continuance of light, that his lordship, with his naked eye,
could see that she was fishing for him ; and not even at the moment of the greatest
occultation did the darkness hide sufficiently the plainness of the bait.”—Jones.
“ A marked magnetic variation took place during the Eclipse at the house of the
reputedly rich Mrs. Blitnte, at Bayswater. The deviation was occasioned by an
observation being taken of the will of her late husband, which has just bean
exhibited at Doctors’ Commons. It was discovered by this instrument that the
daughter, not the widow, of Mr. Blttnte, was his chief heiress. In consequence
of this, several single gentlemen who called on Mrs. Blunte, on the day of the
Eclipse, showed a marked deviation from their former course; the magnet that
attracted them being, it was clear, no longer the hand of the old lady, but the
young one.”—Tittle.
“ Mr. Swizzler being urged by a scientific friend to make a note of what ‘ pre-
cipitation of moisture ’ accompanied the Eclipse, observed that he that day pre-
cipitated precisely twelve pints and a half of moisture down his throat between the
periods of his first and last contact with the pewter. Mr. Swizzler did not make
an observation with a glass, but his experience at once apprised him of the fact
that the wet was of the kind which by the savans is called ‘heavy.’ "—Walssr.
MY UNIFORM.
{After Cowper.)
BV A DAMP BUT DETERMINED VOLUNTEER.
The corps had been washed, newly washed ia a shower,
Which, as usual, had spoiled our parade:
The plentiful moisture, poured down for an hour,
With our uniforms havoc had played.
My belts were all sodden, my shako so wet,
That it, seemed to a fanciful view,
As if mere papier-mache ’twould prove, and forget
For a hat it had duty to do.
EFFECTS OF THE ECLIPSE.
Our position being settled as that of the first scientific journal of
the day, of course we felt desirous, for our own interest as well as that
of all our readers, to obtain the fullest, truest, and the most particular
account of the Eclipse; and we therefore called together our sharpest-
eyed contributors, and enjoined them to spare no expense in railway-
tickets and smoked glass, and if they wished to go to Spain we said
that we would “ stand the Spanish,” for the purpose of observing the
most noteworthy effects. A day or two elapsed without our hearing
anything from any single one of them, or even any of the married ones ,
but on inquiring at our bankers’ we discovered that they had given
proof of their existence by cashing the blank cheques which we had
given them permission, if needful, to fill up. The amounts might have
staggered any ordinary capitalist, but the sole emotion they produced
■on our part was that of pleasure in the thought that the money was
well spent, inasmuch as it had furthered scientific observation, and
would enable us no doubt to eclipse all other journals in describing the
Eclipse. But we regret that we must say our joy was a short-lived
■one; for on returning with our pass-book to enter up the items, our
peace of mind was broken by a seedy-looking person. Approaching
us with somewhat of a corkscrewv gyration, he solemnly deposited a
packet on our writing-desk, and whispered confidentially in a liquid
tone of voice, “Allsh’rene olecock!- Sheclipsh-hic-wentoffshsthunnin! ”
The delivery of this oracular remark was followed by a scarcely more
intelligible request for “a borreloshodawawr-hic-if youshhic-gorritandy
■and the remedy somewhat removing his impediment of speech, our
visitor then informed us that he and some scientific co-labourers had
been staying down at Greenwich to witness the Eclipse, and that
the packet he had brought contained their several reports. We must
■own that we find nothing in the notes that have been handed us which
might not have been written without stirring out of Londou. How-
ever, as nothing has come to hand from our own staff, we shall print
from them the following selections, adding in each instance the names
■of the observers, as a proof of the great confidence we place in their
reports. These will serve at ail events to show the future Herschel
that among the queer phenomena attending the Eclipse, there were
many strange effects observed, of which no mention has been made in
any other journal, and which were scarcely less worth seeing than
those which our astronomers went all the way to Spain to see:—
“ The effects of the Eclipse were plainly visible in Parliament. Members all
seemed in the dark as to what was to be done about the China War ; and how
Mr. Gladstone’s Spirit-Tax could be reconciled with, the opinions expressed in his
great speech on bringing in his Budget.”—Smith.
“ Mr. Flyther of the bankrupt firm of Flyther and M'Hooklit, had prepared to
take advantage of the darkness that was looked for at the time of the Eclipse, to
get the best of his effects on board a steam-boat for Boulogne. The obscurity, how-
ever, proving less tnan had been counted on, an observation could be taken of Mr.
Flyther’s movements, and the venue of his occultation was altered before night-
fall from Boulogne to Bow Street.”—Brown.
I hastily seized it, unfit as it was—
Poor shako—a shaking to stand !
And swinging it rudely, too rudely, alas !
The peak; came off, limp, in my hand!
“ And such,” I exclaimed, “ was the Don’s * foolish act
With his helmet, so neatly combined:
He exposed it to thwacks, which the joints rudely cracked,
Not for use but appearance designed.
“ This elegant cap, had I shaken it less,
Might have bloomed, ’neath its pompon awhile;
And accoutrements wiped with a little address
May adorn next Review’s rank and file! ”
* Don Quixote.
DONKEY-PASTURES IN RICHMOND PARK.
During the last few years Richmond Park has been undergoing a
gradual system of subsoil drainage : sets of tile-pipes progressively
laid down in sections of the ground, piece by piece, and each piece,
consisting of several acres, consequently deformed, spoiled, and, for
more than twelve months,—till the clods of turf, which are dug up and
piled in ridges along the courses of the drains, have had time to sub-
side,—rendered nearly impassable. It is a remarkable fact, that the
reward of these costly operations, appropriately remunerative of the
taste which ordained them, should be, in almost every spot whereon
they have been expended, the development of a plentiful crop of—
thistles !
“ The Keating of our Own Heart.”
Mr. Justice Keating the other day thought proper, in speaking
from the Bench about two foolish persons who had attempted suicide,
to say, “ He supposed these people had been reading novels.” Mr.
Justice Punch would like to know the basis of his learned brother’s
obiter dictum. Do novels inculcate suicide, or does novel-reading drive
people to that absurdity ? He might as reasonably have said he sup-
posed these people had been taking Keating’s Cough Lozenges, and
Mr. Punch presents the learned judge with this advertisement of those
excellent compositions, in compensation for having pointed out that he
occasionally talks nonsense.
A New Medium.
(From the Spiritual Magazine.)
|
The Greatest Spirit Rapper of the Day.—Mr. Gladstone,
who has just given our spirits a rap in the form of a heavy duty.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
39
came to grief through their extravagance, their rivalry reminds us of
the swell fro? in the fable, who, as
'.PERSON OF DISTINCTION. PROBABLY A
BEADLE. CLOSY OF THE THIRTEENTH
CENTURY.
cherished beard, with dirty water
we remember, fell a sacrifice to
swelling.
But great as was their dandyism,
we need say but little of it, for the
fashions were 'but very little varied
in this reign, and the costume of
both nobs and snobs was like that
of their grandfathers. The only
novelty worth note was that the
cloak-hood or capuchon which had
been worn a la cowl, was often fan-
cifully twisted and worn a la toque.
In some cases, however, it was
simply folded and balanced on the
brain-pan, as the women of the Pays
de Basque bask in it in summer-
time even to this day. From the
head-dress to the head being no
great step, we may add here, that the
hair was curled with monstrous
care, and that beards were only
worn by old fogies and knights
templars, and great, officers of state.
That the king wore one we think
we scarcely need to state, for
doubtless everybody knows how
he was bearded on his way to the
Castle of Caernarvon; when they
who had the charge of him pulled
up by the roadside and shaved his
and no soap.
“ M133 Flip.tington haxl hoped to make good use of the Eclipse by managing a
tete-ii-tite with Loss Fitz-Waltek Ca<3sus, who had unwarily arranged to join her
family at Richmond. In their progress to the Park she skilfully contrived to
secure him as her escort, and had the obscuration been as great as she expected,
perhaps the hooking of his fortune might have been one of its effects. There was,
however, so provoking a continuance of light, that his lordship, with his naked eye,
could see that she was fishing for him ; and not even at the moment of the greatest
occultation did the darkness hide sufficiently the plainness of the bait.”—Jones.
“ A marked magnetic variation took place during the Eclipse at the house of the
reputedly rich Mrs. Blitnte, at Bayswater. The deviation was occasioned by an
observation being taken of the will of her late husband, which has just bean
exhibited at Doctors’ Commons. It was discovered by this instrument that the
daughter, not the widow, of Mr. Blttnte, was his chief heiress. In consequence
of this, several single gentlemen who called on Mrs. Blunte, on the day of the
Eclipse, showed a marked deviation from their former course; the magnet that
attracted them being, it was clear, no longer the hand of the old lady, but the
young one.”—Tittle.
“ Mr. Swizzler being urged by a scientific friend to make a note of what ‘ pre-
cipitation of moisture ’ accompanied the Eclipse, observed that he that day pre-
cipitated precisely twelve pints and a half of moisture down his throat between the
periods of his first and last contact with the pewter. Mr. Swizzler did not make
an observation with a glass, but his experience at once apprised him of the fact
that the wet was of the kind which by the savans is called ‘heavy.’ "—Walssr.
MY UNIFORM.
{After Cowper.)
BV A DAMP BUT DETERMINED VOLUNTEER.
The corps had been washed, newly washed ia a shower,
Which, as usual, had spoiled our parade:
The plentiful moisture, poured down for an hour,
With our uniforms havoc had played.
My belts were all sodden, my shako so wet,
That it, seemed to a fanciful view,
As if mere papier-mache ’twould prove, and forget
For a hat it had duty to do.
EFFECTS OF THE ECLIPSE.
Our position being settled as that of the first scientific journal of
the day, of course we felt desirous, for our own interest as well as that
of all our readers, to obtain the fullest, truest, and the most particular
account of the Eclipse; and we therefore called together our sharpest-
eyed contributors, and enjoined them to spare no expense in railway-
tickets and smoked glass, and if they wished to go to Spain we said
that we would “ stand the Spanish,” for the purpose of observing the
most noteworthy effects. A day or two elapsed without our hearing
anything from any single one of them, or even any of the married ones ,
but on inquiring at our bankers’ we discovered that they had given
proof of their existence by cashing the blank cheques which we had
given them permission, if needful, to fill up. The amounts might have
staggered any ordinary capitalist, but the sole emotion they produced
■on our part was that of pleasure in the thought that the money was
well spent, inasmuch as it had furthered scientific observation, and
would enable us no doubt to eclipse all other journals in describing the
Eclipse. But we regret that we must say our joy was a short-lived
■one; for on returning with our pass-book to enter up the items, our
peace of mind was broken by a seedy-looking person. Approaching
us with somewhat of a corkscrewv gyration, he solemnly deposited a
packet on our writing-desk, and whispered confidentially in a liquid
tone of voice, “Allsh’rene olecock!- Sheclipsh-hic-wentoffshsthunnin! ”
The delivery of this oracular remark was followed by a scarcely more
intelligible request for “a borreloshodawawr-hic-if youshhic-gorritandy
■and the remedy somewhat removing his impediment of speech, our
visitor then informed us that he and some scientific co-labourers had
been staying down at Greenwich to witness the Eclipse, and that
the packet he had brought contained their several reports. We must
■own that we find nothing in the notes that have been handed us which
might not have been written without stirring out of Londou. How-
ever, as nothing has come to hand from our own staff, we shall print
from them the following selections, adding in each instance the names
■of the observers, as a proof of the great confidence we place in their
reports. These will serve at ail events to show the future Herschel
that among the queer phenomena attending the Eclipse, there were
many strange effects observed, of which no mention has been made in
any other journal, and which were scarcely less worth seeing than
those which our astronomers went all the way to Spain to see:—
“ The effects of the Eclipse were plainly visible in Parliament. Members all
seemed in the dark as to what was to be done about the China War ; and how
Mr. Gladstone’s Spirit-Tax could be reconciled with, the opinions expressed in his
great speech on bringing in his Budget.”—Smith.
“ Mr. Flyther of the bankrupt firm of Flyther and M'Hooklit, had prepared to
take advantage of the darkness that was looked for at the time of the Eclipse, to
get the best of his effects on board a steam-boat for Boulogne. The obscurity, how-
ever, proving less tnan had been counted on, an observation could be taken of Mr.
Flyther’s movements, and the venue of his occultation was altered before night-
fall from Boulogne to Bow Street.”—Brown.
I hastily seized it, unfit as it was—
Poor shako—a shaking to stand !
And swinging it rudely, too rudely, alas !
The peak; came off, limp, in my hand!
“ And such,” I exclaimed, “ was the Don’s * foolish act
With his helmet, so neatly combined:
He exposed it to thwacks, which the joints rudely cracked,
Not for use but appearance designed.
“ This elegant cap, had I shaken it less,
Might have bloomed, ’neath its pompon awhile;
And accoutrements wiped with a little address
May adorn next Review’s rank and file! ”
* Don Quixote.
DONKEY-PASTURES IN RICHMOND PARK.
During the last few years Richmond Park has been undergoing a
gradual system of subsoil drainage : sets of tile-pipes progressively
laid down in sections of the ground, piece by piece, and each piece,
consisting of several acres, consequently deformed, spoiled, and, for
more than twelve months,—till the clods of turf, which are dug up and
piled in ridges along the courses of the drains, have had time to sub-
side,—rendered nearly impassable. It is a remarkable fact, that the
reward of these costly operations, appropriately remunerative of the
taste which ordained them, should be, in almost every spot whereon
they have been expended, the development of a plentiful crop of—
thistles !
“ The Keating of our Own Heart.”
Mr. Justice Keating the other day thought proper, in speaking
from the Bench about two foolish persons who had attempted suicide,
to say, “ He supposed these people had been reading novels.” Mr.
Justice Punch would like to know the basis of his learned brother’s
obiter dictum. Do novels inculcate suicide, or does novel-reading drive
people to that absurdity ? He might as reasonably have said he sup-
posed these people had been taking Keating’s Cough Lozenges, and
Mr. Punch presents the learned judge with this advertisement of those
excellent compositions, in compensation for having pointed out that he
occasionally talks nonsense.
A New Medium.
(From the Spiritual Magazine.)
|
The Greatest Spirit Rapper of the Day.—Mr. Gladstone,
who has just given our spirits a rap in the form of a heavy duty.