Punch (39.1860)

November 24, I860.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

201

IMPORTANT MATTER

Augustus. “ I sat, Laura, just tell us before any one comes, whether
my Back Hair’s parted straight ! ”

THE BLACK LAUREATE.

The last lot of Blacks, (we forget their names,) are as
prompt with their minstrelsy as any of the grimy song-
sters who have preceded them. We are delighted to learn
that on the day of the safe arrival of the future (many and
many a long day off may his nomination be !) Edward the
Seventh, the Laureate to the Sable Melodists dashed off
the following exquisite Poem, which was sung at night,
and rapturously applauded, and encored forty-seven times,
by an intelligent British audience :—

I.

Home de Prince hab come,

He am not a lubber,

We hab got de Prince ob Whales,

So we need not blubber.

Chick-a-boo, chack-a-boo,

Lobby bobby beer O,

Home de Prince ob Whales hab come,

Sailing in de Hero.

Chick-a-boo, chack-a-boo, &c.

ii.

Him want to wash him hands, boys,

Dirty wid de rope,

So him gone to Windsor,

’Cos dere him get de soap.

Chick-a-boo, chack-a-boo,

Dance and kick up antic,

’Cos de Prince ob Whales hab come,
Crossing de Atlantic.

Chick-a-boo, chack-a-boo, &c.

hi.

Prince Alfred tumble off de Cape,

So him had a bad knee,

Don’t him wish he’d been instead
In de Ariadne.

Chick-a-boo, chack-a-boo,

Time for going bed-ward,

But one cheer before we go,

Hooray, Album-Edward 1
Chick-a-boo, chack-a-boo, &c.

An Infallible
Never go to Sea.

Specific against Sea-Sickness.—

LECTURE OE A NEW LORD MAYOR.

At the Court of Aldermen held on the 14th instant at Guildhall,
when the Lord Mayor presided for the first time in his official
capacity, according to the newspapers :—-

“ His Lordship at the commencement of the proceedings rose and said, ‘ In
taking my place in this Court for the first time as Lord Mayor of the City of London,
I cannot fail to feci that I am entering on a post of great honour and dignity, and
that 1 shall often have occasion to entreat the kind consideration of my brethren of
the Court of Aldermen. I feel, however, great confidence in being abie to perform
the duties that will devolve upon me, because I know that I may at all times appeal
to my brother Aldermen for the assistance of their experience and wisdom, and I
have no doubt that with such assistance I shall be able to go through my duties in
a manner that will be satisfactory to my brother-citizens, and at the same time
tally support the dignity and privileges of the Court.”

Evidently the above is an incorrect report of the Lord Mayor’s
observations. The speech which his Lordship really did make was
most probably one of this sort:—In making my appearance in this
Court for the first time as Lord Mayor of the City of Loudon, I pain-
fully feel that I am exhibiting myself in a character which will be too
generally deemed ridiculous. So many of my predecessors in office
have principally distinguished themselves by their folly, that in attiring
myself in these robes, and putting on this chain, and taking my seat in
this chair, I know that I am exposing myself to inevitable derision
Hoping, however, to contribute as little as possible to the public
amusement, I trust that my brethren of the Court of Aldermen will
excuse me if I occasionally deviate from a precedent which would
require me to make a fool of myself. I entertain some hope that I
may manage to perform the duties which will devolve upon me!
without incurring very much ridicule, because I have determined to
pay no attention to any nonsense which may be uttered by my brother
Aldermen, and not to allow their advice or opinions to influence me at
all contrarily to my own judgment, in the discharge of my office. As a
nember of the Legislature, accustomed to participate in the delibe-
rations of an orderly and decorous assembly, I trust I shall be enabled
to preside over you with that proprietv of which the Speaker of the

House of Commons has afforded me an example, and thus, whilst sup-
porting the privileges, very considerably elevate the dignity, of this
Court. Now then, Gentlemen, silence if you please ; let us proceed to
business, and let me entreat all of you to keep your tempers.

AN UNDUTIFUL PAPA.

Cardinal Antonelli has given Cardinal Wiseman the office to
collect Peter’s Pence for the Pope, and Cardinal Wiseman has
ordered his clergy to levy the desired contribution. Among the pur-
poses for which his Holiness solicits a “whip” are “ the requirements
of his army.” Now, that the Pope’s hat should go round among his
faithful disciples simply to collect the means of paying the expenses of
their faith, is all very well; and to that end they may reasonably he
invited to drop their coppers into the tiara; but do they believe iu the
Papal Army ? That is a new dogma indeed, and transcends all con-
ceivable conception.

The truth is, that Pius Papa is a very fast old gentleman; an extra-
vagant papa: a regular pere prodigue. He has been outrunning the
constable in keeping a standing army, if that army can be called
standing which has particularly distinguished itself by running away.
Papa should in all conscience have put down his expensive military
establishment before he proceeded to ask for pecuniary assistance ac
the hands of his children.

, An Unexpected Return.

We thought that the principle of “No Money Returned” applied
to Royal, just the same as to Theatrical houses. However, we iiave
stumbled over an exception. The King of Saxony has returned
to the Chambers the extraordinary sums which they voted last year,
not having any occasion for them. We wonder when we shall see any-
thing of so pleasing and acceptable a nature ever figure amongst our
“Government, Returns ? ”

Vol. GO.