Punch (39.1860)

December 8, 1860^

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

OO

21

HOW HE OUGHT “ HOT ” TO LOOK.

Excited Prompter (to the Ghost of Hamlet's Father, who is working himself up to
the most funereal aspect he can assume). “ Now then, Walker, LOOK ALIVE I ”

JOLLY OLD YELLOWS.

Amongst things not generally known, is the existence of anything in common
between the British Peerage and the Society of Friends, except two legs, two
arms, and the other particulars which constitute a common humanity. Longevity,
however, is a peculiarity in which the Lords partake with the Quakers, and wherein
the plain Quakers even hold a rank above that of the noble Lords. Whereas the
average life of the Peers is seventy years, that of the Friends is thus stated in a
letter to the Times signed Joseph Allen :—

“ Permit me to enclose you the following ages of some deceased members of the Society of
Friends during the present year, taken from the obituary of the Friend, a Monthly journal, pub-
lished by that body. They are as follows:—84, 84, 85, 85, 8“>, 86, 86, 87, 87, 8S, 88. 89, 89, 89, 91,
91, 91, 91, 91. 91, 92, 92, 93, 93, making a total of 2,128 years, with an average for each life of rather
more than 885 years.

“ Fifty lives in the same period give 4,258 years, with an average of 85 per life.”

The Quakers are said to be dying out; but if their average duration of life is as
great, as that above given, they are likely to take some time in decaying. The
decline of Quakerism will operate to the disadvantage of Life Assurance Offices, if
it is the custom of the Friends to insure their lives,- as feelings of friendship
might prompt them to do, even those who have no relations. The various
Provident Societies should endeavour to provide for the dissemination of the
doctrines of the Society of Friends.

As a general rule, the Quakers bear a high character; but in some cases, as
regards pecuniary transactions, this assertion must perhaps be discounted. Their
characteristic morality may in some measure account for their long life, but that
.'eerns to be in a greater degree due to the good living, for the practice of which
ihey are equally celebrated. They cultivate a cheerful equanimity together with
the main chance; and being for the most part rich, or in easy pecuniary circum-
stances, take all other things easy, as we all ought to do, and probably should do,
if we could afford it. Care may have killed a cat, but it does not kill Quakers,
who appear to quake very little with anxiety and mental perturbations.

The affluence and comfort to which the longevity of the Lords and that of the
Quakers may perhaps be ascribed cannot be readily supposed to account for that
of paupers, which another correspondent of the Times proves to be extraordinary.
Paupers are not certainly affluent, and they can hardly well be imagined as being
comfortable. But in a workhouse wherein a proper warmth is maintained, and

the diet is sufficient, a pauper who is no epicure, has no
pride, and no affections, might manage to lead a contem-
plative life of considerable ease and enjoyment. He
would be better off in every respect than a monk; and the
discipline of the Union would not involve the occasional
flogging to which he might be liable in a monastery. On
the whole, therefore, it is conceivable that the rich Quaker
and the noble Peer may be sometimes equalled or even
exceeded in happiness and consequent longevity by the
philosophical pauper. The man, therefore, who is ushered
into the world with a silver spoon in his mouth, may, in
some cases, not have much the advantage of the one who
enters it with a wooden one.

1

THE BEGINNING OF SLAVERY'S END.

Thus far shall Slavery go, no farther :

That tide must ebb from this time forth.

So many righteous Yankees are there.

Who Good and Truth hold something worth,
That they outnumber the immoral
Throughout the States, on that old quarrel
That stands between the South and North.

The great Republic is not rotten
So much as half; the rest is sound.

Most of her sons have not forgotten
Her own foundation; holy ground !

The better party is the stronger.

And by the worse will now no longer
Bear to be bullied, ruled, and bound.

The nobler people of the nation
The baser sort no more will stand.

Nor cringe to truculent dictation
Enforced, with strength of murderous hand,

By ruffians, for example, brawling
In Congress, who knock statesmen sprawling,

To back slave-soil against free land.

Their higher-minded fellow creatures
Of all these brutes are tired, and sick
Of slavery’s blaspheming preachers,

That snuffle texts with nasal trick,

To just ify the abomination

That’s cherished by their congregation,

Whose feet these canting parsons lick.

Enough of frantic stump-haranguing,

Invectives of a rabid Press,

Tarring and feathering, flogging, hanging,

To stop free mouths; the mad excess
Of human-fleshmongers tyrannic,

Who rant and revel in Satanic
Enthusiasm of wickedness!

This is America’s decision.

Awakening, she begins to see
How justly she incurs derision
Of tyrants, whilst she shames us free ;
Republican, yet more slaves owning
Than any under Empire groaning,

Or ground beneath the Papacy.

Come, South, accept the situation ;

The change will grow by safe degrees.

If any talk of separation,

Hang all such traitors if you please.

Break up the Union ? Brothers, never!

No ; the United States for ever,

Pure Freedom’s home beyond the seas !

The Portraiture of the Times.

We expect to see very shortly houses opened all over
the country, at which will be held out the following
refreshing announcement:—“A Glass of Ale and a
Sandwich, and your, Photograph, for Fourpence ! ”

A Designing Character.—An Architect.

An Imposing Character.—A Magistrate, when he
fines you.