DOI Heft:
October 6, 1860
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16866#0148
140
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 0, 1860.
1
I
Photographer. “A'o Smoking here, Sir!"
Dick Tinto. 11 Oh ! A thousand pardons / I was not aware that-”
Photographer (interrupting, with dignified severity). “ Please to remember, Gentlemen, that this is not
a Common Hartists Studio /”—-—[N.B. Dick and his friends, who are Common Artists, feel shut up by
this little aristocratic distinction, which had not yet occurred to them.]
A DEVILISH BAD PRACTICE).
In an article upon cotton, and the
need there is of growing it in India
and Australia, as well as in America,
a contemporary fitly calls attention to
the fact that—
“ A deputation has had to goto America,
to see whether a stop cannot be put to the
adulteration of cotton bales, which are apt to
consist of sand and rubbish to the extent of
thirty per cent. ; to say nothing of the
nideous fact that lucifer matches are some-
times placed in the most dangerous part of
the bale.”
With due respect to our contem-
porary, we really think this latter
fact (supposing that it is a- fact) is
not one “to say nothing of.” To
adulterate with rubbish to the extent
of thirty per cent, is evil work enough
but surely it is work fit only for the
Evil One to place in cotton-bales
combustibles, in parts where hideous
danger is most likely to be caused by
them. How many vessels have
escaped being set on fire, and how
many living men have annually been
threatened with a hideous destruc-
tion, through the handiwork of these
American incendiaries, it is not our
business nor our pleasure to conjec-
ture. But we caunot, avoid saying,
that Lueifer matches are well, named,
when they are found employed in so
devilish a purpose as that which they
appear in the above instance to
indicate.
Questions for Ordination.
If a rich Dean has ££000-per annum
| allowed him, does he not enjoy a sur-
plus income ? If he has a saving faith,
how much money is he likely to leave
behind him ?
How TO KEEP one’s MEMORY
Green.—Surround it with plenty of
bays.
A LAMENTATION AND A PROPHECY.
i As if the fall of the year needed a climax to its sadness, there came
< last week a mournful invitation from the Crystal Palace, to hear the |
j “ Last Parewell ” of the clear-toned Clara Novello. Obeying the
| behest, Mr. Punch went, and heard, and—for the thousandth time—
j was conquered. But so strong was she in voice that Mr. Punch could
not believe that he was hearing the last strains of his favourite swan-
j like songstress. Mr. Punch could not help thinking, with doubtless
] hundreds of her hearers —Can she “ retire” her notes, as people say in
Lombard Street ? Will John Bull so prematurely submit to such a
loss? For even if Mr. Gladstone should next year double the
j Income-Tax, the deed will tend but little to console us for our Clara.
i How could she so composedly behold that sea of lovely bonnets, if she
had made her mind up never once more to confront them ? While her
seraphic tones were floating, like the rustling of angel-wings, round
about her audience, could she bear to let them go home to their
mundane occupations without the hope of hearing such a heavenly
voice on earth again ?
; _ No! _ I'orbid it, Benedict! No! Forbid it, Bowley. Mr. Punch
\ is (by himself) now fully authorised to state, that Clara has not left
him. How could she exist, with all that gush of song, in the bosom of
retirement? It must well forth somewhere, that is clear as Cheapside
mud; and such a flood of liquid melody as Clara can pour forth
would be completely overwhelming in any private hearing-place.
Therefore, speaking for the greatest happiness of the greatest number,
Mr. Punch delights to state that the flood-gates are not closed yet,
finally and for ever. With his mantle of prophecy consolingly wrapped
round him, Mr. Punch, without much fear, will wager ten to one that
ere the Twentieth of November (who will bet the bet will not be
won on the Nineteenth?) the echoes of a concert-room within cab-range
of Fleet Street will once more be awakened by the clear voice of our
Clara.
NEWS FOR ACTORS AND ACTRESSES-.
Mr. Punch is delighted to find that such of the Managers of
Country Theatres as protest against being prevented from using the
Works of Dramatic Authors without paying for such use, have come |
to the noble determination of carrying out the principle which the
Managers consider involved in the question.
As regards the plays, the Managers say that the Author who pro-
duces his play in London is paid for it by the London Manager, and
therefore ought to have no further remuneration, and his work ought
to be free for the use and advantage of the Country Manager.
The Managers, being convinced of the justice of this view, intend to
apply it to the case of Actors and Actresses who have appeared in
London. Having been paid by the Loudon theatre for their trouble in
acquiring their art, these performers ought to make no claim upon the !
provincial Manager, hut ought to be glad that, “a- mere intellectual !
effort which has been adequately rewarded,” should contribute to the
support of so noble an institution as the British Drama.
In future, therefore, Ladies and Gentlemen engaged by the Managers
alluded to will understand that they will he placed on the footing of !
the Author, and will he paid only for “intellectual efforts” originally
designed for the theatres in question-. Travelling expenses will, !
however, be allowed. A List of these Managers may be had from the
Dramatic Authors’ Society, or from their Solicitor.
Francis Himself Again
Though the King of Naples is at present wit bout a kingdom, still j
he cannot refrain, so strong has the habit become a part of his nature, j
from condemning his subjects, eveu at the very moment that he is left
without any subjects to condemn. The following is the sentence he !
has passed upon them“ The eonduet of the Neapolitans is positively
revolting."
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 0, 1860.
1
I
Photographer. “A'o Smoking here, Sir!"
Dick Tinto. 11 Oh ! A thousand pardons / I was not aware that-”
Photographer (interrupting, with dignified severity). “ Please to remember, Gentlemen, that this is not
a Common Hartists Studio /”—-—[N.B. Dick and his friends, who are Common Artists, feel shut up by
this little aristocratic distinction, which had not yet occurred to them.]
A DEVILISH BAD PRACTICE).
In an article upon cotton, and the
need there is of growing it in India
and Australia, as well as in America,
a contemporary fitly calls attention to
the fact that—
“ A deputation has had to goto America,
to see whether a stop cannot be put to the
adulteration of cotton bales, which are apt to
consist of sand and rubbish to the extent of
thirty per cent. ; to say nothing of the
nideous fact that lucifer matches are some-
times placed in the most dangerous part of
the bale.”
With due respect to our contem-
porary, we really think this latter
fact (supposing that it is a- fact) is
not one “to say nothing of.” To
adulterate with rubbish to the extent
of thirty per cent, is evil work enough
but surely it is work fit only for the
Evil One to place in cotton-bales
combustibles, in parts where hideous
danger is most likely to be caused by
them. How many vessels have
escaped being set on fire, and how
many living men have annually been
threatened with a hideous destruc-
tion, through the handiwork of these
American incendiaries, it is not our
business nor our pleasure to conjec-
ture. But we caunot, avoid saying,
that Lueifer matches are well, named,
when they are found employed in so
devilish a purpose as that which they
appear in the above instance to
indicate.
Questions for Ordination.
If a rich Dean has ££000-per annum
| allowed him, does he not enjoy a sur-
plus income ? If he has a saving faith,
how much money is he likely to leave
behind him ?
How TO KEEP one’s MEMORY
Green.—Surround it with plenty of
bays.
A LAMENTATION AND A PROPHECY.
i As if the fall of the year needed a climax to its sadness, there came
< last week a mournful invitation from the Crystal Palace, to hear the |
j “ Last Parewell ” of the clear-toned Clara Novello. Obeying the
| behest, Mr. Punch went, and heard, and—for the thousandth time—
j was conquered. But so strong was she in voice that Mr. Punch could
not believe that he was hearing the last strains of his favourite swan-
j like songstress. Mr. Punch could not help thinking, with doubtless
] hundreds of her hearers —Can she “ retire” her notes, as people say in
Lombard Street ? Will John Bull so prematurely submit to such a
loss? For even if Mr. Gladstone should next year double the
j Income-Tax, the deed will tend but little to console us for our Clara.
i How could she so composedly behold that sea of lovely bonnets, if she
had made her mind up never once more to confront them ? While her
seraphic tones were floating, like the rustling of angel-wings, round
about her audience, could she bear to let them go home to their
mundane occupations without the hope of hearing such a heavenly
voice on earth again ?
; _ No! _ I'orbid it, Benedict! No! Forbid it, Bowley. Mr. Punch
\ is (by himself) now fully authorised to state, that Clara has not left
him. How could she exist, with all that gush of song, in the bosom of
retirement? It must well forth somewhere, that is clear as Cheapside
mud; and such a flood of liquid melody as Clara can pour forth
would be completely overwhelming in any private hearing-place.
Therefore, speaking for the greatest happiness of the greatest number,
Mr. Punch delights to state that the flood-gates are not closed yet,
finally and for ever. With his mantle of prophecy consolingly wrapped
round him, Mr. Punch, without much fear, will wager ten to one that
ere the Twentieth of November (who will bet the bet will not be
won on the Nineteenth?) the echoes of a concert-room within cab-range
of Fleet Street will once more be awakened by the clear voice of our
Clara.
NEWS FOR ACTORS AND ACTRESSES-.
Mr. Punch is delighted to find that such of the Managers of
Country Theatres as protest against being prevented from using the
Works of Dramatic Authors without paying for such use, have come |
to the noble determination of carrying out the principle which the
Managers consider involved in the question.
As regards the plays, the Managers say that the Author who pro-
duces his play in London is paid for it by the London Manager, and
therefore ought to have no further remuneration, and his work ought
to be free for the use and advantage of the Country Manager.
The Managers, being convinced of the justice of this view, intend to
apply it to the case of Actors and Actresses who have appeared in
London. Having been paid by the Loudon theatre for their trouble in
acquiring their art, these performers ought to make no claim upon the !
provincial Manager, hut ought to be glad that, “a- mere intellectual !
effort which has been adequately rewarded,” should contribute to the
support of so noble an institution as the British Drama.
In future, therefore, Ladies and Gentlemen engaged by the Managers
alluded to will understand that they will he placed on the footing of !
the Author, and will he paid only for “intellectual efforts” originally
designed for the theatres in question-. Travelling expenses will, !
however, be allowed. A List of these Managers may be had from the
Dramatic Authors’ Society, or from their Solicitor.
Francis Himself Again
Though the King of Naples is at present wit bout a kingdom, still j
he cannot refrain, so strong has the habit become a part of his nature, j
from condemning his subjects, eveu at the very moment that he is left
without any subjects to condemn. The following is the sentence he !
has passed upon them“ The eonduet of the Neapolitans is positively
revolting."