DOI Heft:
October 13, 1860
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16866#0158
150
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 13, 1860,
A GREAT BEAST-
MARKET.
The East Retford great
Hop and Cattle Fair,
which was held the other
day, is described as the
most important in the
county of Notts. Lord
Mamsberry will, perhaps,
approve of the observation
that the county above-
named is of all English
counties, that which might
he supposed to be the best
for cattle-fairs, because
Notts would obviously
afford the greatest facili-
ties for tying up the cattle.
The Report of this last
East Retford Cattle Fair
mentions that “there was
a somewhat limited show
of fat beasts, for which
the demand was quiet, and
prices were threepence per
stone lower than last
week.” We are glad to
hear that; but we thought
that the fat beasts of
East Retford, as well as
the lean ones, were usually
sold, chiefly to Parlia-
mentary Agents, at so
much a head.
Royal Destitution.
Latest from America.
—So free is American air,
so intolerant of effete
Royalty, that for a dinner
and a bed the Prince of
Wales has had to enter
the Union.
A DODGE.
Handsome Charley Smythe, who is accustomed to be looked at rather, cannot make out how it is that when he Walks icith
Teddy Browne, that ugly impudent insignificant little Wretch seems to Monopolise the Attention of the Fair Sex.
HISTORICAL FACT.
It cannot be too gene-
rally known that the Fire
of London has never
ceased burning, and now
pays a heavy coal-tax to the
Corporation of the City.
iESOP’S SELECT TABLES.
THE SEA-NYMPH AND THE OCEAN SWELL.
One morning, when there was a heavy Swell upon the sands, a gentle
Nymph walked forth, her blue eyes beaming with joy, her flowing
tresses crystallised with dew. The Swell, struck by her beauty, and
solicitous to win her admiration, paused, and proudly shook his own
long wavy curls. “ Canst thou not spare, sweet Nymph,” he said,
“ from that treasury of beauty one captive-making lock ?”—“ Where
would’st thou have a lock ? ” quoth she, “not on thy understanding,
that’s confined enough already.”—" Oh, cruel,” cried the crest-fallen
Swell, “ thou knowest I am thy slave.”—“ I know thou art a surf,”
she answered, “and a most wicked flatterer, for while thou art kissing
the pale sands, thou art running of them down.”—“One lock of thine,”
returned the Swell, “ would rivet my devotion, and banish all incon-
stancy.” The arch Nymph shook her laughing face, and said, “ Oh,
restless Swell! how canst thou .dream one lock of mine would make
thee constant, when thou art moved by every sportive air ? ”
Moral. Put no trust in those who wildly fling themselves at beauty’s
feet, for what can be expected from such insane worshippers but
bubbles and foam.
THE SLOW COACH AND.THE LITTLE DUCK.
A Slow Coach had often observed in passing a little Duck, who with
her mother and sisters lived on a village green. “ Some fine day,”
said the slow Coach, stopping and regarding the little Duck with a
dreary smile, “when I can get a licence, you shall go to market with
me.”—“ Thank you,” returned the little Duck, proudly lifting up her
bill, “ but if I wait till you find it convenient to get a licence, perhaps
I may wait till peas are out of season. I never encourage slow
Coaches: when I wish to go to market I shall travel express.”
Moral. We here see the error of procrastination. Dawdlers are
always snubbed. The little Duck, though somewhat pert in her tone,
was quite right in her principle. A Coach that makes lumbering
excuses for not being able to carry one, should be put down as an
obstruction and a pest.
THE YOUNG MONKEY AND THE UGLY MUG.
A Young Monkey, in the uniform of a Middy, sat at the mess-table
(H. M. S. Dandelion) gazing admiringly at an ugly mug belonging to
the First Lieutenant. “ What are you thinking of, Mr. Sly ? ” demanded
the ugly Mug.—“ Of my Sister, Sir,” replied the young Monkey, with
becoming humility.—“ Your Sister ! ” returned the ugly Mug, grimly,
“is she pretty?”—“She is considered so, Sir,” replied the young
Monkey; “ I had a letter from her this morning.”—“ Indeed, and
what does she say?” inquired the Mug, pushing a bottle of Cape
Madeira towards the young Monkey..—“ She says, Sir,” rejoined the
latter, “that she would be exceedingly pleased if I would send her
your portrait to put in a brooch.”—“ Ha! ” cried the ugly Mug, radiant
with vanity, “Fill your glass, Mr. Sly, and I think you wanted leave
of absence ? you shall have it, Mr. Sly ; fill your glass, Sir, your health
Mr. Sly.”
Moral. A young Monkey who goes to sea should always have a
pretty sister: he may thereby obtain many little indulgences as sweet
to a young Monkey as cocoa-nuts, if he happens to meet with the ugly
mug of a First Lieutenant.
The Truest Teetotallers.—The Spirit-Rappers, for not one of
them knows anything about any Spirit whatever.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 13, 1860,
A GREAT BEAST-
MARKET.
The East Retford great
Hop and Cattle Fair,
which was held the other
day, is described as the
most important in the
county of Notts. Lord
Mamsberry will, perhaps,
approve of the observation
that the county above-
named is of all English
counties, that which might
he supposed to be the best
for cattle-fairs, because
Notts would obviously
afford the greatest facili-
ties for tying up the cattle.
The Report of this last
East Retford Cattle Fair
mentions that “there was
a somewhat limited show
of fat beasts, for which
the demand was quiet, and
prices were threepence per
stone lower than last
week.” We are glad to
hear that; but we thought
that the fat beasts of
East Retford, as well as
the lean ones, were usually
sold, chiefly to Parlia-
mentary Agents, at so
much a head.
Royal Destitution.
Latest from America.
—So free is American air,
so intolerant of effete
Royalty, that for a dinner
and a bed the Prince of
Wales has had to enter
the Union.
A DODGE.
Handsome Charley Smythe, who is accustomed to be looked at rather, cannot make out how it is that when he Walks icith
Teddy Browne, that ugly impudent insignificant little Wretch seems to Monopolise the Attention of the Fair Sex.
HISTORICAL FACT.
It cannot be too gene-
rally known that the Fire
of London has never
ceased burning, and now
pays a heavy coal-tax to the
Corporation of the City.
iESOP’S SELECT TABLES.
THE SEA-NYMPH AND THE OCEAN SWELL.
One morning, when there was a heavy Swell upon the sands, a gentle
Nymph walked forth, her blue eyes beaming with joy, her flowing
tresses crystallised with dew. The Swell, struck by her beauty, and
solicitous to win her admiration, paused, and proudly shook his own
long wavy curls. “ Canst thou not spare, sweet Nymph,” he said,
“ from that treasury of beauty one captive-making lock ?”—“ Where
would’st thou have a lock ? ” quoth she, “not on thy understanding,
that’s confined enough already.”—" Oh, cruel,” cried the crest-fallen
Swell, “ thou knowest I am thy slave.”—“ I know thou art a surf,”
she answered, “and a most wicked flatterer, for while thou art kissing
the pale sands, thou art running of them down.”—“One lock of thine,”
returned the Swell, “ would rivet my devotion, and banish all incon-
stancy.” The arch Nymph shook her laughing face, and said, “ Oh,
restless Swell! how canst thou .dream one lock of mine would make
thee constant, when thou art moved by every sportive air ? ”
Moral. Put no trust in those who wildly fling themselves at beauty’s
feet, for what can be expected from such insane worshippers but
bubbles and foam.
THE SLOW COACH AND.THE LITTLE DUCK.
A Slow Coach had often observed in passing a little Duck, who with
her mother and sisters lived on a village green. “ Some fine day,”
said the slow Coach, stopping and regarding the little Duck with a
dreary smile, “when I can get a licence, you shall go to market with
me.”—“ Thank you,” returned the little Duck, proudly lifting up her
bill, “ but if I wait till you find it convenient to get a licence, perhaps
I may wait till peas are out of season. I never encourage slow
Coaches: when I wish to go to market I shall travel express.”
Moral. We here see the error of procrastination. Dawdlers are
always snubbed. The little Duck, though somewhat pert in her tone,
was quite right in her principle. A Coach that makes lumbering
excuses for not being able to carry one, should be put down as an
obstruction and a pest.
THE YOUNG MONKEY AND THE UGLY MUG.
A Young Monkey, in the uniform of a Middy, sat at the mess-table
(H. M. S. Dandelion) gazing admiringly at an ugly mug belonging to
the First Lieutenant. “ What are you thinking of, Mr. Sly ? ” demanded
the ugly Mug.—“ Of my Sister, Sir,” replied the young Monkey, with
becoming humility.—“ Your Sister ! ” returned the ugly Mug, grimly,
“is she pretty?”—“She is considered so, Sir,” replied the young
Monkey; “ I had a letter from her this morning.”—“ Indeed, and
what does she say?” inquired the Mug, pushing a bottle of Cape
Madeira towards the young Monkey..—“ She says, Sir,” rejoined the
latter, “that she would be exceedingly pleased if I would send her
your portrait to put in a brooch.”—“ Ha! ” cried the ugly Mug, radiant
with vanity, “Fill your glass, Mr. Sly, and I think you wanted leave
of absence ? you shall have it, Mr. Sly ; fill your glass, Sir, your health
Mr. Sly.”
Moral. A young Monkey who goes to sea should always have a
pretty sister: he may thereby obtain many little indulgences as sweet
to a young Monkey as cocoa-nuts, if he happens to meet with the ugly
mug of a First Lieutenant.
The Truest Teetotallers.—The Spirit-Rappers, for not one of
them knows anything about any Spirit whatever.