Punch (39.1860)

230

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[December 8, I860,

REACTION.

AUSTRIA IN RAGS.

Here’s a pretty mess the thrones are in
upon the Continent! Nearly all the Royal trea-
suries have stuck over their doors the words
“Suspension of cash payments!” The Pope
has scarcely a crazia, the Sultan hardly a
piastre, and the Emperor op Austria scarce
a kreutzer at his banker’s. What’s to be done,
and who? that is the momentous question.
Well. Here, let us see. The Pope sends round
his old tiara to beg for a few pence; the Turk
borrows a few millions at doubled interest from
the French: and the Austrian, yes, this is how he
hopes to raise the wind: readers of the Daily
News had the account last week thus stated:—

“ A decree dated Sclionbrun, Nov. 17, and signed
‘ Francis-Josepu,’ authorises the issue of notes of the
value of fourpence. These bits of paper are to have
the character of a new Austrian money, and their falsifi-
cation or forgery is to be punishable according to the laws
of the currency of higher denominations.”

Well, these little bits of paper will serve, at
all events, to show how the wind blows, although
they mayn’t much help to raise it. Pancy, what
would people say if the Old Lady of Thread-
needle Street were reduced to such a state that
the Government had to issue fourpenny bank
notes for her ! Imagine the disgust of a
Brompton ’buss conductor on receiving a small
scrap of rather dirty paper, and being told it
was a legal equivalent for fourpence ! (By the
way, the slang for this sum is a “Joey.” So the
notes are not unaptly signed by Francis-Joseph :
only Frank is short for Francis, and a note
which passes current for a Joey and a Franc,
should be worth fourteenpence we think instead
of fourpence.) Certainly, the Austrians must
be on the brink of bankruptcy, or they would
not be driven to such desperate expedients to
keep their heads above water. Their credit
must indeed be a tottering concern if they
have nothing but such flimsy props as fourpenny
bank-notes for it. In spite of all their careful
cooking of the national accounts, it cannot be

Gentleman (to great Swell). “Why, Sid, what the donee makes you carry such a Thing as that l"

Great Swell. “Am-, the fact is, yon.; know, every Snob, you know, has a Little Umbrella now, 1 denied, that they are done to rags when we find
you know ; so J cawwy this to show I'm not a Snob, you knoic." i the State is issuing fourpenny bank-notes.

WOOD DEMON.

“ Mr. Punch,

“I hear a great deal of Spirit-Rapping Mediums and ‘Table-
Turning’; infact, I hear of little else; for up our way—that is, Islington
—we have several societies more or less devoted to the mysteries of a
seance. Now of the rapping I know nothing, nor of the Mediums
either, except, that my boy George, who learns Latin, tells me the
word means ‘a go between,’ which information quite reconciles me to
my want of acquaintance with such folks. But of tables you may—
when I tell you I am an auctioneer and broker—believe I kuow some-
thing. Lor, bless me! what lots of tables I have had under my hands :
tables of all sorts—and there’s a tolerable variety. There’s the
universal round, the economic Pembroke, the family dining, the
frequent loo, and others that are only occasional. How often have I
seen a bevy of brokers standing round, say, a ‘rosewood loo,’ leaning
more or less heavily on it as they considered its value or tested its
workmanship, each doubtless thinking of turning it over to some
customer; and yet all this so frequently have I seen without one
eccentric attempt on the part of any table to turn or move!

“Now, Mr. Punch, to speak in a brokerly way, I am a‘man in
possession’ of my senses, and I want to know why a committee of
brokers _ should not be called to give evidence as to their belief in the
disposition of tables to turn, so that their convictions on the subject
may throw some light on the seemiug choice that spirits have to affect
tables above all other articles. In the meantime the Spiritualists
might refer to their Mediums for information on the same point; and
really if they don’t give some satisfactory reason, the sooner the tables
are turned upon them and their nonsense the better, for with us
brokers tne matter is getting to be serious. One old. lady, last week,
retused a splendid mahogany square because it ‘ran’ easily on its
castors, being, as she affirmed, afraid it had been in a ‘turning family.’
Now, Mr. Punch, you can easily see this is likely to affect our business
materially, so I do hope you will do all you cau for us, and

“I am, Mr. Punch, yours to command,

“ A. Phaser.”

PAYMASTERS OF THE INDIAN ARMY.

One day last week a respectable looking man named Rowland
Mucklestone was indicted at the Central Criminal Court for having
“ applied to his own use a cheque that had been intrusted to him for a
specific purpose.” He was found guilty—guilty of felony !

Many people will be astonished to find that the appropriation by one
person of money given him with a commission to administer it to
others is so serious a crime as that which felony amounts to.

Not but what everybody who is any better than a rogue feels em-
bezzlement to be a peculiarly bad sort of theft, because it is not merely
dishonest, but also dishonourable. But then it is sometimes practised
by gentlemen who hold so decent a position !

There are certain persons notorious for being bad paymasters, of
whom it is commonly said that the money which passes through their
hands sticks to their fingers. In other words, they commit a temporary
embezzlement. Yet many of them shuffle on without being even
shunned and avoided. Some even fill very high situations.

The Delhi prize money remains unpaid. It is in the hands of parties
who, like Mr. Mucklestone, though not convicted cf felony, have
been intrusted with that money for a specific purpose—the purpose of
distributing it among the soldiers who won it three years ago. Who
are the official rogues that are at present embezzling the Delhi prize
money? Who are the swindlers in Government situations of whom
it may be affirmed, to their infamy, that the money due to brave
men, who won it with wounds and blood, by unexampled heroism, is
sticking to their fingers ?

Spirituel, and Spiritual.

Who is the most extraordinary “ Medium” in England?

Mr. Gladstone ; because he has raised spirits all over the country.

A Regular “Old Dog” Trait.—Fidelity.