Punch: Punch (39.1860)

December 22, 18G0.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

249

horse, brandishing with his right hand a formidable sword, and having
quite a forest of feathers at his back.

With regard to the arms which were used chiefly at this period, we
reserve for the present a particular description, and content ourselves
with merely noticing the fact, that the arquebus was introduced about
this time, being an improvement on the hand-cannon, or gonne,
invented in the reign of King Edward the Fourth. Its novelty
consisted in having a sort of lock with a cock to hold the match ; and
that this appliance was suggested by the cross-bow, may be reasonably
inferred from the name of arc-a-bouche, which the Britannic tongue, of
course, soon corrupted into arquebus. It seems the military autho-
rities were not much quicker then than now in adopting innovations,
for we find that though the arquebus and other firearms had come in,
the ancient bow and arrows had not yet gone out. When that formid-
able body, the Yeomen of the Guard, were established in the year
1185, they were armed half with the bow and the others with the
arquebus; just as until Punch brought his cudgel into play, part of
our army had the rifle, while the others were left harmless by being
armed with old Brown Bess. The parallel, however, is not quite cor-
rectly drawn, for the first fire-arms were scarcely an improvement on
the bow; indeed, what with their clumsiness and aptitude to kick, we
may doubt if they were much in favour with the troops. Bows, how-
ever, had been brought to a very perfect state, as even the best shots
among our riflemen must own, when they read of hitting bullseyes at
three hundred yards range, and splitting rival arrows by striking on
their notch.

DANCING CHRISTIANS.

ere are people to
whose mouths the
Early Closing Move-
ment had need to be
applied, to prevent
their doing damage
to the doctrines they
whole-hoggishly en-
deavour to support.
Such a person is a
recent correspondent
to the Record, who,
in giving his opinion
upon “Social Amuse-
ments,” denounces
dancing as a devilish
and irreligious prac-
tice :—

“ I fear that many a so-
called Christian will set
me down for an ascetic,
because I condemn in toto this fascinating but ensnaring amusement. . . What-

ever may be said of dancing, abstractedly, as an innocent and healthful recreation,
it is a well-known fact that praying dancers have never yet made their appearance
in this world ; the species is altogether unknown. An earnest humble spiritually
minded dancing Christian is a phenomenon not yet brought to light. Apologise
for the practice as we will, all evideuce tells us that Satan has never yet devised a
better instrument than dancing for filling the heart and mind with every principle
opposed to the religion of the Bible.”

Theie is a smack of strained facetiousness in the idea of “ praying
dancers,” which makes us doubt whether the writer intended to be
serious in the rest of bis remarks. Indeed, the levity with which such
persons often treat the most solemn of subjects would sadly shock a
sinner, though it might not offend a “saint.” That there are dancing
dervishes everybody knows—-except the gentleman who stages that
they “have not yet made their appearance;” and that there are
Christians who are capable of dancing and likewise of being devout,
each at the right season, nobody, save fools or fanatics, can doubt.

As to calling dancing an invention of the devil, and saying that “ all
evidence” proves it is opposed to the religion of the Bible, we know
that general assertions are generally fallacious, and “ all evidence,” if
sifted, might turn out none at all. That dancing may do harm, under
some conditions, we are ready to admit. For instance, at Casinos it
becomes a recreation neither innocent nor healthful; and the sooner
such ensnaring places are abolished, the better will it be for the morals
of our sons. But to confound such dens of vice with virtuous English
drawing-rooms is to slander the fair name of every lady in the land.
The mind that can see evil in the exercise of dancing as practised in
society at the present day, must he morbidly alive to the terrors of the
evil one, and dead to the enjoyment of any healthy pleasure. We
know that there are men who are so weak in will that they dare not
drink one drop of wine lest they be tempted to get drunk; and simi-
larly imbecile are they who dare not enter the most innocent enjoyment
for fear it should excite them to plunge headlong into vice. They see
peril and temptation where purer eyes see none; and as they pass
their lives in looking out for sin, for their credit’s sake they feel they
ought to find it omnipresent. We, who hold a healthier faith, main-

tain that there is far more good in life than evil: and a much less rare
phenomenon than a Christian who can dance, we hold to be a so-called
“saint” who can keep his tongue from slandering, and his heart from
thinking badly of his fellow-creatures.

THE BUMPKIN AMONG THE BEASTICES.

My dwellun is in the Zouth-West countree,

Wherein I farms zome yeacres o’ ground :

I heer’d of an ox as there was to zee
In Lundun, nine foot four inches round.

Bi too ral loo, &c.

2o up to Town I resolved to go,

To ha a look into the Cattle Show,

And zee that there live mountun o’ beef.

’Tis a zayun of old that zight’s belief.

Hi too ral loo, &c.

Straightways to Lundun Town I come,

Havun left the old ooman whilst I was gone,

To look arter the men and the maaids at whoam,

Aud to mind and observe how things went on.

Bi too ral loo, &c.

Well, off I started droo Temple Bar;

And thence I manidged to rache Long Yeacre.

Then I blunder’d on to the Hoss Bazaar,

Turnun out o’ a street o’ the neam o’ Baker.

Bi too ral lo.o, &c.

And there I zee the wonderful ox,

Which I couldu’t believe until 1 zeed uu.

And all the pride of the herds and vlocks,

As won the prizus for beauty aud breeduu.

Bi too ral loo, &c.

I zeed the machines for tillun the earth.

Which zum ou um was to me a puzzle.

For my shillun I got a shillun’s worth,

What wi’ Swedes and coal-rahby and mangle-wuzzle.

Bi too ral loo, &c.

But of all the picturs as there I zaw,

I wus pleased wi’ the pigs thg most of any,

Lyun snortun aud squeakun among the straw.

As fat as butter aud clean as a penny.

Bi too ral loo, &c.

How ’tis to be a pig ! I cries,

The zight must meak our labourers jealous.

To be sure they must envy them swine their styes.
Which is palaces like to their homes, poor fellers.

Hi too ral loo, &c.

’Tis a credit to fat up hogs that big.

And to keep um that clean and sweet aud pleasant,

But if you meaks so much of a pig,

You rued meak zummut more than you do of a peasant,
lli too ral loo, &a.

An Explanation Quite as Good as any Other.

Mr. Bernal Osborne, who for some time held a good appointment- !
in the Admiralty, has been kind enough to send us the following:—

Why are there so many deserters in the British Navy ?

The reason is plain—no man gets his proper desert in it, and so be
goes elsewhere to seek it.

Bravo, Bernal ! We shall be happy to hear from you again.

Free Soil all Over.

In the United States the North and South seem to be resolving
themselves, ou the Slavery question, into absolutely opposite poles.
Could not they compromise the matter in dispute by a mutual arrange-
ment in which both sides would engage to concede something to the
demands of Liberty ? Suppose the South consented to accept Negro
Emancipation, whilst the North agreed to adopt Free Trade P

a deplorable mistake.

Ir is no end of pities that Mr. Beckett Denison’s name is
Edmund. Why wasn’t it William P His friends would have been sure
to have called him, if it was only for the abstract of the thing—Will.