DOI issue:
May 14, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16873#0206
198 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 14, 1864.
Mr. Bright was glad the House had got rid of the Book of Genesis as
an authority on the subject. Sir GE9RGE Grey believed that it would
neither be safe, nor in accordance with public feeling, to do away alto-
gether with executions. Mr. Ewart’s motion was withdrawn, but a
Boyal Commission is to issue, for the purpose of taking evidence as to
the nature and operation of the law, and the manner of the infliction of
the death punishment, and to report whether any alteration is desirable.
Whatever may be the report of this Commission, it is certain that
public opinion demands a graduated scale of punishment, and that
crimes, so different in character and atrocity as those of Wright, the
woman-slayer, and of Palmer, the poisoner, should not be called by
the same indiscriminating name, and treated accordingly.
Sir George Grey makes an attempt to diminish the nuisance of
Night Houses by closing them from one to four in the morning. Those
who “ make night hideous ” at these disreputable haunts are not mem-
bers of the humbler class, nor will much suppression be effected until
they are invited to recover from the excitement of their amiable orgies
by spending a couple of days of calm seclusion, improved by the un-
adorned eloquence of a solitary cell. It would be a pity, by a fine, to
deprive them of the money which they turn to so good an account.
Mr. Bass introduced a meritorious Bill for the better regulation of
street music within the metropolitan district. He proposes to define
for what “ reasonable cause ” a housekeeper may send away the Italian
pests. We observe that certain metropolitan Members are inclined, for
the sake of mob-popularity, to oppose this measure. If they do, it will
be for Mr. Punch, in the interest of civilisation, to examine, from time to
time, how far they themselves may be liable to come into the list of
persons to be dismissed for reasonable cause. At present, if one’s child
is dying, and a policeman camiot be found (as is nearly certain to be the
case), there is nothing to prevent a scoundrel from grinding a nigger
melody for an hour under the window, and an indignant parent who
shall thrash the vermin away, may be dragged to a police-court on the
day of the funeral.
A Bill for making Little Bankrupts was read a Second Time. It
is for extending the benefit of the bankrupt law to persons committed
by the County Courts. Observe Lord Westbury’s Bill, introduced
on the Eriday. Considering the uncommonly rough justice adminis-
tered at these places, where the plaintiff is regarded as an injured angel,
and the defendant as a swindling miscreant, something like fair play
should be accorded. On the other hand, some Members think that such
a measure will tend to curtail the credit the humbler class now get from
shopkeepers. If it should ruin the tallyman’s trade, every sensible
erson will rejoice, and in fact that object should be attained by a more
irect process—that of making it penal in a tallyman to sell anything to
a wife except in the actual presence of the husband. A good many
tallymen would go to gaol for perjury, at first, but that misfortune
might be endured.
The useful Partnership Amendment Law ought to have made pro-
gress, but. after a debate, the House was counted. _ Mr. _ Thomas
Baring objects to the Bill, and thinks that capitalists might lend
money, without interest, to worthy young men. On reading this, we
immediately sent off a note to Mr. Baring, asking for ten or twelve
thousand pounds on the terms he advocates, but the messenger had
not returned with the money up to our going to press.
Wednesday. Dulness carries it, the Metric System is effectually
opposed, and all that is to be done at present is to legalise contracts in
which the weights or measures mentioned are metric weights and mea-
sures. Dreadful nonsense was talked, and some Members evidently
thought that the metres meant poetical metres, and that Mr. Ewart
wished to compel us to talk over the counter in rhyme—e. g.,
“ No, Miss, tliat isn't what I mean,
Cut me three yards of bombazine.”
or thus,—
“ My children are such greedy imps,
I want another pint of shrimps.”
or thus,—
“kSome friends have come the country from,
Draw me a quart of Ancient Tom.”
at least, if they did not think so, they spoke so ridiculously about the
impossibility of obtaining an accurate metre that the above suggestions
would have been more rational. We do not wonder that even Mr.
Cobden, who thoroughly comprehends the question, was moved to
laugh at his friend, Mr. Milner Gibson. They will alsp laugh at us
in France, and, for once, their epigrams will be pointed by justice.
Thursday. Supply—ridicule of the Yeomanry, who, however, got their
money—and much talk about smooth bores and Armstrongs.
Friday. The Chancellor brought in a Bill for the relief of debtors
of the humbler class. At present the County Courts send them to
aol by the thousand for debts of two shillings, half-a-crown, and the
ke. In future there is to be no imprisonment, except in cases of
fraud, creditors may be arranged with, and no neer-house bill is to
be recoverable. And there is a dab in the eye for greedy attorneys,
who are not to bring actions in the Superior Courts for matters winch
ought to come before the County Courts, as the sharks now do for the
sake, of course, of extra plunder.
Most unsatisfactory answers in the Commons about the Conference
and the ships, but we screwed out that the Aurora is gone to look after
the Austrians.
A most interesting debate on the Public School System. Tet the
House, which will crowd, and cram, and listen like mice, when any
twopenny personal quarrel or scandal is up, was in a hurry to “ cut,” as
Mr. Grant Dufe said, one of the most important topics. Our Public
School System is being overhauled, and much good will result, as the
various elements which tend to produce manly, self-reliant, governing
men will be purified from the brutalities and corruptions that have been
fostered by prejudice and bigotry. Mr. Grant Dufe spoke up for the
modern languages and lighter accomplishments, and Mr. Gladstone,
as became an Oxonian, admitted their value, but could not allow them
to be named with classical training.
Mr. Somes’s Anti-beer Bill was refused even a First Beading. Sir
G. Grey declined to allow the usual courtesy to such a measure. The
hardship of having to do right in certain company was illustrated by a
most coarse and vulgar speech from Mr. Boebuck, who “ spat at the
Bill,” and declared the million or so who had petitioned for it “ canting
hypocrites,” but the right thing was done, and the partial and oppres-
sive measure was rejected by 123 to 87.
ALL IN THE DOWNS.
{New Words to the old Air.)
All in the Downs the fleet is moored.
The powder shipped, the guns on board;
Long has Britannia endured,
Ere she would give the awful word—
“ Go in, my hearts of oak, so tough and true,
And lick sweet Frederick-William black and blue.”
Sweet Frederick-William on his guard
Has cheap and nasty laurels flung;
While by Court-toady and Court-bard
Sdnderborg’s massacre is sung.
The Dutchies’ crown he grasps with thievish hands—
And though detected all unblushing stands !
Soon from the Downs the fleet unmoored
May to the Baltic shape its course:
Then comes the shock, that ne’er endured,
Of Bight and Might ’gainst Fraud and Force.
And King and Kaiser yet may vail their pride
To Strength with Justice once again allied!
A JOKE ABOUT A JUDGE.
Is the alleged fact, stated in this extract from a Parliamentary
summary, credible?—
“ Sir G. Grey said, in reply to Mr. H. Berkeley, that the convict Hutchinson,
sentenced to four years’ penal servitude for perjury in' the case of Mr. Bewicke, of
Threepwood Hall, Northumberland, had been released on a ticket-of-leave after
eighteen months’ imprisonment, upon the recommendation of the Judge who had
tried him. ”
Beleased on a ticket-of-leave ? Why was not the poor man released
with a free pardon if he was discovered to have been innocent of the
perjury of wnich he had been found guilty ? His evidence, whether true
or false, with that of others, had caused Mr. Bewicke to be convicted of
felony, to be adjudged to penal servitude, to incur forfeiture of goods,
and ruin of health as well as of estate. . Hutchinson deserved to be
hanged as much as any murderer, or he did not deserve any punishment
at all; and if, at the instance of any Judge, he has obtained a ticket of-
leave, that most unjust and foolish Judge, whoever he is, has either
made a most imperfect reparation to an injured mau, or else has been
instrumental in turning loose upon Society a scoundrel who will perhaps
one of those dark nights garotte him; and serve him right.
Nasty.
The last advices from—well, we will not mention the name of the
place, it can be seen any of these fine mornings, in the Times—have
stated, that, in that part of the world, the “shirtings are unchanged.”
The shirtings of this people have been in this state for several weeks !
Disgusting! _
Fashionable Food for Horses.—Hav a la Mowed.
Mr. Bright was glad the House had got rid of the Book of Genesis as
an authority on the subject. Sir GE9RGE Grey believed that it would
neither be safe, nor in accordance with public feeling, to do away alto-
gether with executions. Mr. Ewart’s motion was withdrawn, but a
Boyal Commission is to issue, for the purpose of taking evidence as to
the nature and operation of the law, and the manner of the infliction of
the death punishment, and to report whether any alteration is desirable.
Whatever may be the report of this Commission, it is certain that
public opinion demands a graduated scale of punishment, and that
crimes, so different in character and atrocity as those of Wright, the
woman-slayer, and of Palmer, the poisoner, should not be called by
the same indiscriminating name, and treated accordingly.
Sir George Grey makes an attempt to diminish the nuisance of
Night Houses by closing them from one to four in the morning. Those
who “ make night hideous ” at these disreputable haunts are not mem-
bers of the humbler class, nor will much suppression be effected until
they are invited to recover from the excitement of their amiable orgies
by spending a couple of days of calm seclusion, improved by the un-
adorned eloquence of a solitary cell. It would be a pity, by a fine, to
deprive them of the money which they turn to so good an account.
Mr. Bass introduced a meritorious Bill for the better regulation of
street music within the metropolitan district. He proposes to define
for what “ reasonable cause ” a housekeeper may send away the Italian
pests. We observe that certain metropolitan Members are inclined, for
the sake of mob-popularity, to oppose this measure. If they do, it will
be for Mr. Punch, in the interest of civilisation, to examine, from time to
time, how far they themselves may be liable to come into the list of
persons to be dismissed for reasonable cause. At present, if one’s child
is dying, and a policeman camiot be found (as is nearly certain to be the
case), there is nothing to prevent a scoundrel from grinding a nigger
melody for an hour under the window, and an indignant parent who
shall thrash the vermin away, may be dragged to a police-court on the
day of the funeral.
A Bill for making Little Bankrupts was read a Second Time. It
is for extending the benefit of the bankrupt law to persons committed
by the County Courts. Observe Lord Westbury’s Bill, introduced
on the Eriday. Considering the uncommonly rough justice adminis-
tered at these places, where the plaintiff is regarded as an injured angel,
and the defendant as a swindling miscreant, something like fair play
should be accorded. On the other hand, some Members think that such
a measure will tend to curtail the credit the humbler class now get from
shopkeepers. If it should ruin the tallyman’s trade, every sensible
erson will rejoice, and in fact that object should be attained by a more
irect process—that of making it penal in a tallyman to sell anything to
a wife except in the actual presence of the husband. A good many
tallymen would go to gaol for perjury, at first, but that misfortune
might be endured.
The useful Partnership Amendment Law ought to have made pro-
gress, but. after a debate, the House was counted. _ Mr. _ Thomas
Baring objects to the Bill, and thinks that capitalists might lend
money, without interest, to worthy young men. On reading this, we
immediately sent off a note to Mr. Baring, asking for ten or twelve
thousand pounds on the terms he advocates, but the messenger had
not returned with the money up to our going to press.
Wednesday. Dulness carries it, the Metric System is effectually
opposed, and all that is to be done at present is to legalise contracts in
which the weights or measures mentioned are metric weights and mea-
sures. Dreadful nonsense was talked, and some Members evidently
thought that the metres meant poetical metres, and that Mr. Ewart
wished to compel us to talk over the counter in rhyme—e. g.,
“ No, Miss, tliat isn't what I mean,
Cut me three yards of bombazine.”
or thus,—
“ My children are such greedy imps,
I want another pint of shrimps.”
or thus,—
“kSome friends have come the country from,
Draw me a quart of Ancient Tom.”
at least, if they did not think so, they spoke so ridiculously about the
impossibility of obtaining an accurate metre that the above suggestions
would have been more rational. We do not wonder that even Mr.
Cobden, who thoroughly comprehends the question, was moved to
laugh at his friend, Mr. Milner Gibson. They will alsp laugh at us
in France, and, for once, their epigrams will be pointed by justice.
Thursday. Supply—ridicule of the Yeomanry, who, however, got their
money—and much talk about smooth bores and Armstrongs.
Friday. The Chancellor brought in a Bill for the relief of debtors
of the humbler class. At present the County Courts send them to
aol by the thousand for debts of two shillings, half-a-crown, and the
ke. In future there is to be no imprisonment, except in cases of
fraud, creditors may be arranged with, and no neer-house bill is to
be recoverable. And there is a dab in the eye for greedy attorneys,
who are not to bring actions in the Superior Courts for matters winch
ought to come before the County Courts, as the sharks now do for the
sake, of course, of extra plunder.
Most unsatisfactory answers in the Commons about the Conference
and the ships, but we screwed out that the Aurora is gone to look after
the Austrians.
A most interesting debate on the Public School System. Tet the
House, which will crowd, and cram, and listen like mice, when any
twopenny personal quarrel or scandal is up, was in a hurry to “ cut,” as
Mr. Grant Dufe said, one of the most important topics. Our Public
School System is being overhauled, and much good will result, as the
various elements which tend to produce manly, self-reliant, governing
men will be purified from the brutalities and corruptions that have been
fostered by prejudice and bigotry. Mr. Grant Dufe spoke up for the
modern languages and lighter accomplishments, and Mr. Gladstone,
as became an Oxonian, admitted their value, but could not allow them
to be named with classical training.
Mr. Somes’s Anti-beer Bill was refused even a First Beading. Sir
G. Grey declined to allow the usual courtesy to such a measure. The
hardship of having to do right in certain company was illustrated by a
most coarse and vulgar speech from Mr. Boebuck, who “ spat at the
Bill,” and declared the million or so who had petitioned for it “ canting
hypocrites,” but the right thing was done, and the partial and oppres-
sive measure was rejected by 123 to 87.
ALL IN THE DOWNS.
{New Words to the old Air.)
All in the Downs the fleet is moored.
The powder shipped, the guns on board;
Long has Britannia endured,
Ere she would give the awful word—
“ Go in, my hearts of oak, so tough and true,
And lick sweet Frederick-William black and blue.”
Sweet Frederick-William on his guard
Has cheap and nasty laurels flung;
While by Court-toady and Court-bard
Sdnderborg’s massacre is sung.
The Dutchies’ crown he grasps with thievish hands—
And though detected all unblushing stands !
Soon from the Downs the fleet unmoored
May to the Baltic shape its course:
Then comes the shock, that ne’er endured,
Of Bight and Might ’gainst Fraud and Force.
And King and Kaiser yet may vail their pride
To Strength with Justice once again allied!
A JOKE ABOUT A JUDGE.
Is the alleged fact, stated in this extract from a Parliamentary
summary, credible?—
“ Sir G. Grey said, in reply to Mr. H. Berkeley, that the convict Hutchinson,
sentenced to four years’ penal servitude for perjury in' the case of Mr. Bewicke, of
Threepwood Hall, Northumberland, had been released on a ticket-of-leave after
eighteen months’ imprisonment, upon the recommendation of the Judge who had
tried him. ”
Beleased on a ticket-of-leave ? Why was not the poor man released
with a free pardon if he was discovered to have been innocent of the
perjury of wnich he had been found guilty ? His evidence, whether true
or false, with that of others, had caused Mr. Bewicke to be convicted of
felony, to be adjudged to penal servitude, to incur forfeiture of goods,
and ruin of health as well as of estate. . Hutchinson deserved to be
hanged as much as any murderer, or he did not deserve any punishment
at all; and if, at the instance of any Judge, he has obtained a ticket of-
leave, that most unjust and foolish Judge, whoever he is, has either
made a most imperfect reparation to an injured mau, or else has been
instrumental in turning loose upon Society a scoundrel who will perhaps
one of those dark nights garotte him; and serve him right.
Nasty.
The last advices from—well, we will not mention the name of the
place, it can be seen any of these fine mornings, in the Times—have
stated, that, in that part of the world, the “shirtings are unchanged.”
The shirtings of this people have been in this state for several weeks !
Disgusting! _
Fashionable Food for Horses.—Hav a la Mowed.