DOI issue:
March 3, 1866
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16877#0101
March 3, 1866.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
93
THE TURF AND THE CLOTH.
BOCKUM DOLLES BONNETED.
he Loud Bishop oe
Winchester has, of
course, perused the
following statement
in the “ Sporting
Intelligence ” con-
tributed by Argus
to the Morning
Post:—
“ An interesting little
work has just been com-
piled for private circu-
lation, entitled Dane-
bury Statistics which
gives a return of the
number of horses trained
in the great southern
stable, as well as th6
amount of their win-
nings from 1832 to 1865.
The author of this little
workis the Rev. Walter
Blount, the esteemed
landlord and domestic
chaplain of John Day,
and he has executed
his task with care, cor-
rectness, and ability.”
Certainly the
Bishop oe Win-
chester must make an example of the Rev. Gentleman above-named
by Argus. That is to say, the Rev. Gentleman’s Bishop, surely, will
nut fail to hold him up as affording a pattern to other Clergymen in
dedicating his leisure to the collection of useful information, instead
of abusing it in the composition of Essays and Reviews, or critical
remarks on the Pentateuch, calculated to unsettle people’s minds.
The employment of spare time in compiling Danebury Statistics is
the recreation of an exemplary and stable-minded Clergyman.
The Bishop will also note, with satisfaction, the circumstance that so
great a celebrity on the turf as John Day is likewise such a thorough
Churchman as to keep a domestic chaplain, who, when not expressly
occupied with John’s spiritual affairs, devotes the pen of an accom-
plished clerk to those of his stud. The connection thus existing between
the Turf and Church will perhaps suggest to the Bishop oe Win-
chester the expediency of getting up a party of prelates to go, on a
properly appointed drag, to the Derby, so as to countenance a pure
English sport, and, at the same time, put the Stigginses and the
Chadbands, who preach about on the race-course, out of countenance. A
delicate compliment would thus be paid to a distinguished personage,
after whom the mitred visitors to Epsom might be called John Day’s
lot of lawn.
THE THREE R’s TEST.
Mr. Punch,
You laughed, of course, at Mr. Clay’s proposal of an educa-
tion test for the elective franchise in the shape of the Three R’s—
reading, ’riting, and ’rithmetic. Everybody laughed at it because it was
so ridiculously reasonable. They laughed when they came to think of
it. At first it took away their breath. They kept silence, and con-
sidered what was to be said against it. It was too simply good not to
be felt to be inadmissible. On consideration, they began to recollect
that every political arrangement which at first sight looks perfect, is
open to the objection that it won’t work, for various reasons that
experience only can refute.
Well, Sir, perhaps the necessary examination of every candidate for
the franchise would be a little troublesome. But couldn’t we adopt
Mr. Clai’s notion with a difference ? Let existing qualifications be
retained on the principle of uti possidetis Let the qualification pro-
posed by Mr. Clay enfranchise the unenfranchised, as many of them as
are fit to have votes. The need for examination might be limited by
taking certain callings and professions as proof in themselves of suffi-
ciency in the Three R’s. Independent lodgers, who want to be also
independent electors, would be almost the only persons, above the
ten-pound householders, who would then have to be examined. Would
the number of educated people, below the pecuniary mark of ten-pound
householders, be such as to create any necessity for very numerous
examiners P If so, Mr. Punch, surely the little extra trouble and
expense, that would attend the increase of the constituency by the
addition of many new voters, would be amply repaid by the improve-
ment thereof which would accrue to it in the great accession that it
would derive from the intelligence and morality of the working classes.
No honest artisan need be ashamed to submit to the test of the Three
R’s. He would be kept in countenance by a sufficient number of
bloated aristocrats like myself living in a
Belgravia, Feb , 1866.
Two-Pair Back.
“ BERLIN, Feb. 22 (Afternoon).
“ Count von Bismarck has just communicated to the Chamber of Deputies a
Royal decree, ordering both Houses of the Diet to be closed to-morrow, and to
remain adjourned until the end of the present session.”
Eor years to try a weighty cause
Opinion’s Court has sat:
In “ Bismarck versus Bockum Dolles,”
Or “ Helmet against Hat.”
Opinion braved, and Law laid low,
Not fearing revolution,
Now Bismarck with a swashing blow
Bonnets the Constitution!
The Chamber will not vote supplies ;
Bismarck can tax without it:
The Chamber duly will protest,
Bismarck, as duly, flout it.
Twesten and Frezel may talk big,
Bismarck has courts to catch them ;
The Chamber may claim rights of speech,
But rights of fist o’ermatch them.
“ Protest ? Your protest we return ;
The King won’t even read it:
Flare up p Tall talk we laugh to scorn,
While out of doors none heed it.
Though Bockum Dollfs puts on his hat,
His bell though Grabow tinkles.
Will it wake Prussia from her sleep,
As deep as Rip van Winkle’s P
“ Vogue la Galere ! Brute-force is King,
In a drill-sergeant bodied :
The strong battalions are ours,
And Might, not Right, our Godhead:
We have an army at our back,
You but a host of dreamers,
So let your Parliament go pack,
And ware strappado, schemers 1
“ You prate of England—of the fate
Of Strafford and of Stuart 1
Ere she breeds Cromwells, Hampdens, Pi ms,
Prussia must learn a new art.
Talk was on English Sovereign’s side.
But Deed on English people’s ;
Roundheads had crowns that braved a crack.
Beneath their hats like steeples.”
Has Bismarck ta’en your measure true,
Long-suffering Prussian brothers ?
Are we so diff’rent, we.and you,
Close-kinned as were our mothers ?
Is talk the utmost of your will,
Or are you only waiting,
For Bismarck’s lesson to bear fruits,
And deeds to oust debating ?
Herr Grabow hopes that Prussia’ll stand
Still by the Constitution !
Stand by it, yes: strike for it, no—
That would be Revolution !
“ God Save the King 1 ” such is the cry,
With which you close the Session—
Suppose you add, “and grant us pluck
To temper our discretion.”
SPORTING.
Mr. Punch will be much obliged if Masters of Hounds and Harriers
will give him I imely notice of their hunting appointments. Mr. P.
having placed the management of this department in the ablest hands
trusts that, &c. &c. With great satisfaction we present the public
with our first list of
HUNTING APPOINTMENTS (FOR NEXT WEEK).
Westminster: St. Martin's Lane. Monday at 10.
Bloomsbury : Portland Road. Wednesday at 11.
Clerkenwell: Duncan Terrace. Thursday at Id.
Bow : Bow Road. Saturday at 11.
Whitechapel : Thursday and Friday at 11.
[*** Some mistake. That is what comes of trusting a Law reporter
with a Sporting Sub-Editorship. He’s taken the list of the Gouuty
Courts out of the Times.—J. P.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
93
THE TURF AND THE CLOTH.
BOCKUM DOLLES BONNETED.
he Loud Bishop oe
Winchester has, of
course, perused the
following statement
in the “ Sporting
Intelligence ” con-
tributed by Argus
to the Morning
Post:—
“ An interesting little
work has just been com-
piled for private circu-
lation, entitled Dane-
bury Statistics which
gives a return of the
number of horses trained
in the great southern
stable, as well as th6
amount of their win-
nings from 1832 to 1865.
The author of this little
workis the Rev. Walter
Blount, the esteemed
landlord and domestic
chaplain of John Day,
and he has executed
his task with care, cor-
rectness, and ability.”
Certainly the
Bishop oe Win-
chester must make an example of the Rev. Gentleman above-named
by Argus. That is to say, the Rev. Gentleman’s Bishop, surely, will
nut fail to hold him up as affording a pattern to other Clergymen in
dedicating his leisure to the collection of useful information, instead
of abusing it in the composition of Essays and Reviews, or critical
remarks on the Pentateuch, calculated to unsettle people’s minds.
The employment of spare time in compiling Danebury Statistics is
the recreation of an exemplary and stable-minded Clergyman.
The Bishop will also note, with satisfaction, the circumstance that so
great a celebrity on the turf as John Day is likewise such a thorough
Churchman as to keep a domestic chaplain, who, when not expressly
occupied with John’s spiritual affairs, devotes the pen of an accom-
plished clerk to those of his stud. The connection thus existing between
the Turf and Church will perhaps suggest to the Bishop oe Win-
chester the expediency of getting up a party of prelates to go, on a
properly appointed drag, to the Derby, so as to countenance a pure
English sport, and, at the same time, put the Stigginses and the
Chadbands, who preach about on the race-course, out of countenance. A
delicate compliment would thus be paid to a distinguished personage,
after whom the mitred visitors to Epsom might be called John Day’s
lot of lawn.
THE THREE R’s TEST.
Mr. Punch,
You laughed, of course, at Mr. Clay’s proposal of an educa-
tion test for the elective franchise in the shape of the Three R’s—
reading, ’riting, and ’rithmetic. Everybody laughed at it because it was
so ridiculously reasonable. They laughed when they came to think of
it. At first it took away their breath. They kept silence, and con-
sidered what was to be said against it. It was too simply good not to
be felt to be inadmissible. On consideration, they began to recollect
that every political arrangement which at first sight looks perfect, is
open to the objection that it won’t work, for various reasons that
experience only can refute.
Well, Sir, perhaps the necessary examination of every candidate for
the franchise would be a little troublesome. But couldn’t we adopt
Mr. Clai’s notion with a difference ? Let existing qualifications be
retained on the principle of uti possidetis Let the qualification pro-
posed by Mr. Clay enfranchise the unenfranchised, as many of them as
are fit to have votes. The need for examination might be limited by
taking certain callings and professions as proof in themselves of suffi-
ciency in the Three R’s. Independent lodgers, who want to be also
independent electors, would be almost the only persons, above the
ten-pound householders, who would then have to be examined. Would
the number of educated people, below the pecuniary mark of ten-pound
householders, be such as to create any necessity for very numerous
examiners P If so, Mr. Punch, surely the little extra trouble and
expense, that would attend the increase of the constituency by the
addition of many new voters, would be amply repaid by the improve-
ment thereof which would accrue to it in the great accession that it
would derive from the intelligence and morality of the working classes.
No honest artisan need be ashamed to submit to the test of the Three
R’s. He would be kept in countenance by a sufficient number of
bloated aristocrats like myself living in a
Belgravia, Feb , 1866.
Two-Pair Back.
“ BERLIN, Feb. 22 (Afternoon).
“ Count von Bismarck has just communicated to the Chamber of Deputies a
Royal decree, ordering both Houses of the Diet to be closed to-morrow, and to
remain adjourned until the end of the present session.”
Eor years to try a weighty cause
Opinion’s Court has sat:
In “ Bismarck versus Bockum Dolles,”
Or “ Helmet against Hat.”
Opinion braved, and Law laid low,
Not fearing revolution,
Now Bismarck with a swashing blow
Bonnets the Constitution!
The Chamber will not vote supplies ;
Bismarck can tax without it:
The Chamber duly will protest,
Bismarck, as duly, flout it.
Twesten and Frezel may talk big,
Bismarck has courts to catch them ;
The Chamber may claim rights of speech,
But rights of fist o’ermatch them.
“ Protest ? Your protest we return ;
The King won’t even read it:
Flare up p Tall talk we laugh to scorn,
While out of doors none heed it.
Though Bockum Dollfs puts on his hat,
His bell though Grabow tinkles.
Will it wake Prussia from her sleep,
As deep as Rip van Winkle’s P
“ Vogue la Galere ! Brute-force is King,
In a drill-sergeant bodied :
The strong battalions are ours,
And Might, not Right, our Godhead:
We have an army at our back,
You but a host of dreamers,
So let your Parliament go pack,
And ware strappado, schemers 1
“ You prate of England—of the fate
Of Strafford and of Stuart 1
Ere she breeds Cromwells, Hampdens, Pi ms,
Prussia must learn a new art.
Talk was on English Sovereign’s side.
But Deed on English people’s ;
Roundheads had crowns that braved a crack.
Beneath their hats like steeples.”
Has Bismarck ta’en your measure true,
Long-suffering Prussian brothers ?
Are we so diff’rent, we.and you,
Close-kinned as were our mothers ?
Is talk the utmost of your will,
Or are you only waiting,
For Bismarck’s lesson to bear fruits,
And deeds to oust debating ?
Herr Grabow hopes that Prussia’ll stand
Still by the Constitution !
Stand by it, yes: strike for it, no—
That would be Revolution !
“ God Save the King 1 ” such is the cry,
With which you close the Session—
Suppose you add, “and grant us pluck
To temper our discretion.”
SPORTING.
Mr. Punch will be much obliged if Masters of Hounds and Harriers
will give him I imely notice of their hunting appointments. Mr. P.
having placed the management of this department in the ablest hands
trusts that, &c. &c. With great satisfaction we present the public
with our first list of
HUNTING APPOINTMENTS (FOR NEXT WEEK).
Westminster: St. Martin's Lane. Monday at 10.
Bloomsbury : Portland Road. Wednesday at 11.
Clerkenwell: Duncan Terrace. Thursday at Id.
Bow : Bow Road. Saturday at 11.
Whitechapel : Thursday and Friday at 11.
[*** Some mistake. That is what comes of trusting a Law reporter
with a Sporting Sub-Editorship. He’s taken the list of the Gouuty
Courts out of the Times.—J. P.]