Punch (50.1866)

June 9, 1866,]

PUNCH. OR THU LONDON CHARIVARI.

239




SYMPATHY.

Laura. “Yes, tiresome Horse to Ride! Pulls now and then Tremendously, as ip he would like to Run Away with one!”
Charlie (who is so absurd). “ Ah, then I can Understand his Feelings ! ”

I

MRS. GRUNDY ON FOREIGN AFFAIRS.

Ah ! drat the nasty foreigners; there’s always some new bother,
Some fresh to-do or piece of work with one of ’em or t’other.

And with the very words for which I haven’t common patience,

I can’t abear to hear about what’s called their complications.

Oh, dear me!

What a biessed world without ’em this would be !

I do despise their questions that’s awaitin’ a solution.

And talk about that good-for-nothin’ Federal execution ;

I wish they’d execute them there as causes all the bobbery,

And hang the criminals which planned the murder and the robbery.
Oh, dear me ! &c.

Let dogs delight to bark and bite, each other’s blood a spillin’;

Let bears and lions growl and fight as much as they are willin’:

Bur what consarns us is their wars puts we to sitch expenses,

For Hironclads and Harmstrong guns and all them there defences.
Oh, dear me ! &c.

With all the forces they maintains, them filthy foreign nations
Would soon be down on England but for England’s preparations.
And if they dragged us into war in spite of our objection,

The duty upon tea would rise—that’s always my reflection.

Oh, dear me 1 &c.

Their squabbles sends the funds down, and 1 ’m told the loss is
shocking;

But all the stock as I got is inwested in a stocking,

Where thieves can’t find—for we’ve birds too of that spread-eagle
feather:

But English people ain’t, like some, a lot of thieves together.

Oh, dear me 1 &c.

The French it was at one time, at another ’twas the Rooshians;

And now the rumpus is between the Austrians and Prooshans.
Adrabbit ’em ! I can’t find words to say how I do hate ’em all;

I wish there was some powder, like, or stuff to extirpate’em all!

Oh, dear me ! &c.

SAWBBATARIAN SAWNEYISM.

The Sawbbatarian Sawneys of the Free Kirk at Glasgow have taken
upon themselves to deny the religious ordinances of their sect, to Mr.
Robertson, a compositor engaged on the Glasgow Herald, for being
accustomed to set up the type of that paper on Sunday evenings.
Against this outrage of rampant Sawbbatarian Sawneyism, Mr Robert-
son appealed to the Free Kirk Assembly of Edinburgh. The superior
Council of Sawbbatarian Sawneys ratified the act of their subordinates.
Before this precious ecclesiastical tribunal, Mr. Robertson attended,
and spoke for himself. He argued that, in the households of the strictest
of Sawbbatarians, the Sawbbath evening was constantly desecrated by
work, for which, unlike his own, there was no necessity. To this plea
an attempt at an answer was made by a certain Rev. Dr. Gibson, who
said that there was “so much the more reason for the Church sending
out no uncertain sound in this matter.” The Church that speaks by
the mouth of Dr. Gibson in this matter does assuredly give out a souud
that is by no means uncertain. There is a certain sound with which
the sound sent out by that spokesman of Sawbbatarian Sawneyism is
unmistakably identical. It is the sound wont to be emitted by a par-
ticular quadruped that oftentimes, as he browses, belies the legend asso-
ciated with Scotia’s thistle. He bites the thistle with impunity.

As to Mr. Robertson, since the Sawbbatarian Sawneys have ex-
communicated him, he should also excommunicate the Sawbbatarian
Sawneys, and quit the Free Kirk for some society of intelligent and
educated Christians. A newspaper compositor is a man of letters, and
ought to dissolve all connection with illiterate fauatics.

Interesting.

Dear Mr. Punch,—I read the other day that “the Judges were
Churched.” 1 hope they are all as well as can be expected.

Yours truly,

Theodore-Hookham Cottage. Lavinia D. Ramsbotham.

New Name for the Petroleum Aristocracy.—The Oiligarchy.