DOI Heft:
April 28, 1866
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16877#0181
April 28, 1866.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
LOST PROPERTY.
Anxious Mother (to Grandfather). “Papa, Where’s the Baby? Nurse says
SHE LEFT IT WITH YOU.”
Grandpapa. “ Bless me, so she did ! Let me see ! I've only been to the
Club—and the Bank—I suppose I must have left it There!”
ST. PATRICK THE PROTESTANT.
An excellent new Ballad, inscribed to the Irish Church.
“ Learned, persons have ably proved that St. Patrick did not receive
consecration from Rome, and had no communion with her.”—Record.
Saint Patrick was a Protestant,
An ancient Irish Curate,
Did he live now, he’d make a row
For tithes, and dues, and pew-rate.
He ’d come to London every May,
Polemic and perspiring,
And in the famous Hall of “ Bray”
His red-hot shot be firing.
No doubt he’d give the Pope his due
Much as we give the Devil’s,
Call each an Ass who goes to mass,
And sneer at “ Convent revels.”
About confessionals he’d hint'
What decent folk don’t mention.
And tell all tales he’d seen in print,
And some his own invention.
He’d give for doom to modern Rome
A hotter gulf than Topket’s,
Term every Priest the Evil Beast
Predicted by the prophets.
O bow the Saint would make complaint
Against the legislation
That keeps Maynooth for Popish youth,
At charges of the nation !
He’d prove a People’s Church was one
That shuts them out with fences,
That “ nation ” meant eleven per cent.
Of persons in the Census.
That while we care for Church repair
The State fulfils its mission.
And if there’s ne’er a soul goes there,
Thank Popish superstition.
And when he’d proved that well beloved
Establishment a wonder.
With awful roar he’d hurl galore
Loud Calvinistic thunder.
Deny his Church had got one smirch.
While Rome’s had not a bright side—
Then take his seat in Clarges Street,
And dine with Mr Whiteside.
FUNNIVERS1TY INTELLIGENCE.
A Congregation will be holden on Friday next, to consider the
adoption of the Report of one of the Canons of Ch. Ch.
Undergraduates by anew statute may not row boats in Peckwater
during the Lecture hours.
“Tom” of Ch. Ch. has gained the first prize in Belles Lettres.
Sporting Undergraduates must understand that this is no encourage-
ment to their letters to Bell’s Life.
Friday next is fixed for the annual dinner to the Nobodies of Oxford,
given by the Fellows of All Souls. These gentlemen are obliged to
provide plenty of beans for their guests. It is a curious old custom
that the College statute is still in force which says, in its quaint old
dog-Latin
: Bene natus, bene vestitus, moderate doctus,”
which means, according to modern progress, that a Fellow of All Souls
must “ Grow his own beans, eat his own beans, and know how to turn
up a Moderator Lamp.” The name All Souls’ is to be henceforth
changed into All Swells’ College.
The Teacher of the Italian Language will lecture in the same room,
and simultaneously, with the Teacher of the French Language.
The Coryphaeus will play on his violin, and lecture the Coryphees
behind the scenes of the Sheldonian Theatre.
The Sheldonian Theatre will be open during Term for light Greek
farces, Roman burlesques and African dances. Wanted, a Juvenile for
the leading business, a First Old Man, and a Singing Chambermaid. An
opening for several Utility People. All communications, prepaid, to be
made to the Rev. E. B. Pusey. Silence a negative.
The Professor of Pastoral Theology will lecture on the life of Jack
Sheppard.
The Regius Professor of Greek will give Lectures on Astronomy and
Salmon ova.
At Cambridge, the Course of the Lectures will depend this year upon
the weather.
The Professor of Optics will lecture on Running in “ The High.”
He gives notice that any of his pupils found in the High shall be
brought in to hear his Lecture.
The Three Graces who passed the Senate the other day, will be good
enough to send in their cards and private addresses to the Vice-
Chancellor. Secrecy.
The authorities have given out that in future they will permit
leap-frog over the backs of the Colleges.
Meetings for Open-Air Whist Parties have been authoritatively for-
bidden in Trumpington Street.
There are to be the usual May Performances at the A. D. C. this
Term. As no ladies (according to ancient custom) are permitted to
take part in the theatricals, the Female Characters, whether good or
bad, will be taken by the Senior Proctors for the year.
Trains will run from London during the Summer, in time to see the
Eountain of Trinity play.
A Scullery is to be built on the banks of the Cam, as a depository for
the smaller kind of oars.
Three new Funnies will be launched on the Cam on Whit-Monday.
A LIKELY JOKE.
The following statement has found its way into a respectable
journal :—
Rumoured Visit of Her Majesty to Berlin.—A report is current in Berlin
that, should the prospects of war disappear, Her Majesty will visit the Prussian
capital, to be present at the baptism of the newly-born daughter of the Crown-
Princess.”
Bismarck would doubtless be glad to get plunder, bloodguiltiuess,
and fiat self-contradiction honoured with a visit from the Queen of
England. The grandmother of the newly-born daughter of the
Crown-Princess of Prussia, at the baptismal font would have to
meet that Royal infant’s grandfather. It has, perhaps, appeared to
Bismarck, regarding Schleswig and Holstein, that the poor abuses ol
I he time want countenance.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
LOST PROPERTY.
Anxious Mother (to Grandfather). “Papa, Where’s the Baby? Nurse says
SHE LEFT IT WITH YOU.”
Grandpapa. “ Bless me, so she did ! Let me see ! I've only been to the
Club—and the Bank—I suppose I must have left it There!”
ST. PATRICK THE PROTESTANT.
An excellent new Ballad, inscribed to the Irish Church.
“ Learned, persons have ably proved that St. Patrick did not receive
consecration from Rome, and had no communion with her.”—Record.
Saint Patrick was a Protestant,
An ancient Irish Curate,
Did he live now, he’d make a row
For tithes, and dues, and pew-rate.
He ’d come to London every May,
Polemic and perspiring,
And in the famous Hall of “ Bray”
His red-hot shot be firing.
No doubt he’d give the Pope his due
Much as we give the Devil’s,
Call each an Ass who goes to mass,
And sneer at “ Convent revels.”
About confessionals he’d hint'
What decent folk don’t mention.
And tell all tales he’d seen in print,
And some his own invention.
He’d give for doom to modern Rome
A hotter gulf than Topket’s,
Term every Priest the Evil Beast
Predicted by the prophets.
O bow the Saint would make complaint
Against the legislation
That keeps Maynooth for Popish youth,
At charges of the nation !
He’d prove a People’s Church was one
That shuts them out with fences,
That “ nation ” meant eleven per cent.
Of persons in the Census.
That while we care for Church repair
The State fulfils its mission.
And if there’s ne’er a soul goes there,
Thank Popish superstition.
And when he’d proved that well beloved
Establishment a wonder.
With awful roar he’d hurl galore
Loud Calvinistic thunder.
Deny his Church had got one smirch.
While Rome’s had not a bright side—
Then take his seat in Clarges Street,
And dine with Mr Whiteside.
FUNNIVERS1TY INTELLIGENCE.
A Congregation will be holden on Friday next, to consider the
adoption of the Report of one of the Canons of Ch. Ch.
Undergraduates by anew statute may not row boats in Peckwater
during the Lecture hours.
“Tom” of Ch. Ch. has gained the first prize in Belles Lettres.
Sporting Undergraduates must understand that this is no encourage-
ment to their letters to Bell’s Life.
Friday next is fixed for the annual dinner to the Nobodies of Oxford,
given by the Fellows of All Souls. These gentlemen are obliged to
provide plenty of beans for their guests. It is a curious old custom
that the College statute is still in force which says, in its quaint old
dog-Latin
: Bene natus, bene vestitus, moderate doctus,”
which means, according to modern progress, that a Fellow of All Souls
must “ Grow his own beans, eat his own beans, and know how to turn
up a Moderator Lamp.” The name All Souls’ is to be henceforth
changed into All Swells’ College.
The Teacher of the Italian Language will lecture in the same room,
and simultaneously, with the Teacher of the French Language.
The Coryphaeus will play on his violin, and lecture the Coryphees
behind the scenes of the Sheldonian Theatre.
The Sheldonian Theatre will be open during Term for light Greek
farces, Roman burlesques and African dances. Wanted, a Juvenile for
the leading business, a First Old Man, and a Singing Chambermaid. An
opening for several Utility People. All communications, prepaid, to be
made to the Rev. E. B. Pusey. Silence a negative.
The Professor of Pastoral Theology will lecture on the life of Jack
Sheppard.
The Regius Professor of Greek will give Lectures on Astronomy and
Salmon ova.
At Cambridge, the Course of the Lectures will depend this year upon
the weather.
The Professor of Optics will lecture on Running in “ The High.”
He gives notice that any of his pupils found in the High shall be
brought in to hear his Lecture.
The Three Graces who passed the Senate the other day, will be good
enough to send in their cards and private addresses to the Vice-
Chancellor. Secrecy.
The authorities have given out that in future they will permit
leap-frog over the backs of the Colleges.
Meetings for Open-Air Whist Parties have been authoritatively for-
bidden in Trumpington Street.
There are to be the usual May Performances at the A. D. C. this
Term. As no ladies (according to ancient custom) are permitted to
take part in the theatricals, the Female Characters, whether good or
bad, will be taken by the Senior Proctors for the year.
Trains will run from London during the Summer, in time to see the
Eountain of Trinity play.
A Scullery is to be built on the banks of the Cam, as a depository for
the smaller kind of oars.
Three new Funnies will be launched on the Cam on Whit-Monday.
A LIKELY JOKE.
The following statement has found its way into a respectable
journal :—
Rumoured Visit of Her Majesty to Berlin.—A report is current in Berlin
that, should the prospects of war disappear, Her Majesty will visit the Prussian
capital, to be present at the baptism of the newly-born daughter of the Crown-
Princess.”
Bismarck would doubtless be glad to get plunder, bloodguiltiuess,
and fiat self-contradiction honoured with a visit from the Queen of
England. The grandmother of the newly-born daughter of the
Crown-Princess of Prussia, at the baptismal font would have to
meet that Royal infant’s grandfather. It has, perhaps, appeared to
Bismarck, regarding Schleswig and Holstein, that the poor abuses ol
I he time want countenance.