DOI Heft:
February 2, 1867
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16879#0057
50
[February 2, 1867.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
RHYMES FOR REFORMERS.
Ip you ’d make a demonstration
Of desire for Reformation,
Make it by the presentation
Of petitions ; and sensation
Rouse by their accumulation.
Don’t resort to the formation
Of a monstrous aggregation.
Which will cause an obstipation
Of the streets, with depredation,
Harm, and loss by trade’s cessation.
If you do, yon ’ll breed vexation.
And engender indignation,
And encounter execration,
For endeavour at dictation,
Bullying, and intimidation.
Book you, friends, this observation:
At mob-leaders’ instigation,
By a threatening conspiration,
FI ought yon ’ll get but reprobation,
Opposition, and frustration.
Better try conciliation,
And pacific operation,
Which will prove, with commendation
Quoted, your qualification
For a share in legislation.
A Sufficient Reason.
An order from the Horse Guards directs that officers
are to substitute steel scabbards for leather ones. Cap-
tious newspaper critics object that steel scabbards blunt
the swords they are meant to preserve. What of that ?
The Horse Guards won’t encourage sharp blades, or why
don’t they give staff-appointments to the officers who pass
the Staff College ?
RECREATION FOR THE ARMY.
Exciting Amusement in Country Quarters during a Frost.
Last, January 23rd, Wednesday.—Grand Dance of
Frozen out Foxhunters, in honour of the Great God
Thaw.
THE FROZEN-OUT GARDEN SONGSTERS.
VESTRYMEN REFRESHED.
(by an old gourmand.)
A. Cock Blackbird I saw on a green holly tree,
On the hard frozen earth when the snow around lay,
At the bright scarlet berries, so hungry was ho,
Which his yellow bill nipped, he kept tugging away.
On the holly from Christmas, when winters are mild,
Unto Christmas, and longer, the berries will keep.
Then the blackbirds and thrushes are dainty and wild,
And they hold the hard fare of the hollybush cheap.
It is when the cold weather has stopped the supplies.
They are fain a coarse meal from the holly to tug ;
When the dense frost-bound soil the fat lobworm denies,
And the savoury snail, and the succulent slug.
In the sunshine of life thus on turtle we feed,
And below leg of mutton all viands decline;
But, when fortune’s reverse brings a season of need,
We are only too glad on cold shoulder to dine.
A Morning from Home.
Without any puffing—for Mr. Punch never puffs—big people should
take their little people to see the Lilliputian troupe perform a couple of
pieces at the Haymarket. Mr., Mrs. Judy, and Master Punch were
delighted, and, after the entertainment, congratulated Mr. Coe, the
trainer of these little gentlemen and ladies, on his and their success.
Young Master Punch was pleased to observe that “ he didn’t wonder
it the Company being so good, seeing the Coe was so clever.” Master P.
vas immediately taken home.
One would think that parish work must be tremendously exhausting,
at least if one may judge by the refreshments which are sometimes
taken after it. The following, for instance, are a couple of hotel bills,
for food supplied to some exhausted Vestrymen of Camberwell, in
order to prevent their fainting ere they reached their homes :
SEWERS COMMITTEE.—(To Knight).
Oct. 11. 16 dinners.£3 4 0
Dessert. 0 16 0
Refreshments and wine 7 14 6
16 teas. 0 16 0
Cigars . 0 12 0
Attendance . 0 8 0
Oct. 25. 15 dinners.£3 0 0
Desserts. 0 15 0
Refreshments and wines 6 5 0
Teas. 0 15 0
Cigars . 010 6
Attendance . 0 7 6
£13 10 6
£11 13 0
Will it be believed that at the Vestry Meeting “ the reading of these
statistics caused a great many expressions of disapproval ? ” Good
gracious ! Are poor Vestrymen to starve, when they go about their
parish business ? Is this a Christian country, and. are they not men,
and brothers of the rate-payers who have to pay their tavern-bills ? To
be sure, we always thought that Vestrymen smoked pipes,^and not
cigars : else how was it that long clay-pipes came to be called “ church-
wardens ? ” It might be urged, moreover, by some flinty-hearted
rate-payers that the meat bears much the same proportion to the drink
as Falstaff's halfpenn’orth of bread to his intolerable quantity of sack.
Certainly, we cannot wonder that poor-rates are so high, when such
bills as the above are run up for mere refreshments.
Medical.
You are under examination. You are questioned about the Spinal
Cord. You must be short sighted not to see the advantage it will be
to you to describe it as the chain attached to your eye-glass.
The Depth oe Degradation.—The very lowest in the Social Scale
ire the cheating shopkeepers with their false balances.
A Comment.—“ Speech is
expression, hush money.
silver, but silence golden.”
Hence the
[February 2, 1867.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
RHYMES FOR REFORMERS.
Ip you ’d make a demonstration
Of desire for Reformation,
Make it by the presentation
Of petitions ; and sensation
Rouse by their accumulation.
Don’t resort to the formation
Of a monstrous aggregation.
Which will cause an obstipation
Of the streets, with depredation,
Harm, and loss by trade’s cessation.
If you do, yon ’ll breed vexation.
And engender indignation,
And encounter execration,
For endeavour at dictation,
Bullying, and intimidation.
Book you, friends, this observation:
At mob-leaders’ instigation,
By a threatening conspiration,
FI ought yon ’ll get but reprobation,
Opposition, and frustration.
Better try conciliation,
And pacific operation,
Which will prove, with commendation
Quoted, your qualification
For a share in legislation.
A Sufficient Reason.
An order from the Horse Guards directs that officers
are to substitute steel scabbards for leather ones. Cap-
tious newspaper critics object that steel scabbards blunt
the swords they are meant to preserve. What of that ?
The Horse Guards won’t encourage sharp blades, or why
don’t they give staff-appointments to the officers who pass
the Staff College ?
RECREATION FOR THE ARMY.
Exciting Amusement in Country Quarters during a Frost.
Last, January 23rd, Wednesday.—Grand Dance of
Frozen out Foxhunters, in honour of the Great God
Thaw.
THE FROZEN-OUT GARDEN SONGSTERS.
VESTRYMEN REFRESHED.
(by an old gourmand.)
A. Cock Blackbird I saw on a green holly tree,
On the hard frozen earth when the snow around lay,
At the bright scarlet berries, so hungry was ho,
Which his yellow bill nipped, he kept tugging away.
On the holly from Christmas, when winters are mild,
Unto Christmas, and longer, the berries will keep.
Then the blackbirds and thrushes are dainty and wild,
And they hold the hard fare of the hollybush cheap.
It is when the cold weather has stopped the supplies.
They are fain a coarse meal from the holly to tug ;
When the dense frost-bound soil the fat lobworm denies,
And the savoury snail, and the succulent slug.
In the sunshine of life thus on turtle we feed,
And below leg of mutton all viands decline;
But, when fortune’s reverse brings a season of need,
We are only too glad on cold shoulder to dine.
A Morning from Home.
Without any puffing—for Mr. Punch never puffs—big people should
take their little people to see the Lilliputian troupe perform a couple of
pieces at the Haymarket. Mr., Mrs. Judy, and Master Punch were
delighted, and, after the entertainment, congratulated Mr. Coe, the
trainer of these little gentlemen and ladies, on his and their success.
Young Master Punch was pleased to observe that “ he didn’t wonder
it the Company being so good, seeing the Coe was so clever.” Master P.
vas immediately taken home.
One would think that parish work must be tremendously exhausting,
at least if one may judge by the refreshments which are sometimes
taken after it. The following, for instance, are a couple of hotel bills,
for food supplied to some exhausted Vestrymen of Camberwell, in
order to prevent their fainting ere they reached their homes :
SEWERS COMMITTEE.—(To Knight).
Oct. 11. 16 dinners.£3 4 0
Dessert. 0 16 0
Refreshments and wine 7 14 6
16 teas. 0 16 0
Cigars . 0 12 0
Attendance . 0 8 0
Oct. 25. 15 dinners.£3 0 0
Desserts. 0 15 0
Refreshments and wines 6 5 0
Teas. 0 15 0
Cigars . 010 6
Attendance . 0 7 6
£13 10 6
£11 13 0
Will it be believed that at the Vestry Meeting “ the reading of these
statistics caused a great many expressions of disapproval ? ” Good
gracious ! Are poor Vestrymen to starve, when they go about their
parish business ? Is this a Christian country, and. are they not men,
and brothers of the rate-payers who have to pay their tavern-bills ? To
be sure, we always thought that Vestrymen smoked pipes,^and not
cigars : else how was it that long clay-pipes came to be called “ church-
wardens ? ” It might be urged, moreover, by some flinty-hearted
rate-payers that the meat bears much the same proportion to the drink
as Falstaff's halfpenn’orth of bread to his intolerable quantity of sack.
Certainly, we cannot wonder that poor-rates are so high, when such
bills as the above are run up for mere refreshments.
Medical.
You are under examination. You are questioned about the Spinal
Cord. You must be short sighted not to see the advantage it will be
to you to describe it as the chain attached to your eye-glass.
The Depth oe Degradation.—The very lowest in the Social Scale
ire the cheating shopkeepers with their false balances.
A Comment.—“ Speech is
expression, hush money.
silver, but silence golden.”
Hence the