DOI issue:
January 22, 1870
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16885#0033
January 22, 1870.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
23
ROME AND RAMSBOTHAM.
[Mrs. Ramsbotham, Junior, writing from Rome during the present
"Economical Consul" as she calls it, gives us the following infor-
mation^
Dear Mr. Punch,
I have ascertained a great many things about the Roman
Candlestick rights and cemeteries, which other Co-respondents of the
daily papers are nnable to get hold of.
My poor dear Mother, when alive, used to tell me how " the Pope
lived in a Vacuum ;" and she was quite right, for the Palace so-called is
still here, and Pious the Ninth (or Master Pretty, as his real name
is) decides in it.
Talking of rights and cemeteries, there are some very peculiar. Por
instance, once a year the good Pope says mass in the Cistern. I wonder
he's so well, considering his age, and the dampness of such a place.
The Cistern, it is true, is fitted up as a chapel, and painted and
decorated ; but I recollect well enough what our cistern was for a long
time after it had been cleaned out, a nasty, mucky, damp, dirty place
as you wouldn't let a cat sleep in, let alone a Human Being saying
Mass.
An Imminent Dilatory of the Roman Church tells me that it is one
of Pope's Priliveges, and likewise of some cannons too (though what
cannons have to do with it, unless it's something to do with the
Temple Power that they talk off, not the Spirituous, which is different
altogether) as I was saying, it's the prilivege of the Pope and some
others to say Mass in their Night-Caps. But Lor ! what a prilivege !
I wouldn't say anything to anybody in mine. I have been here from
the first, which is from the eighth of December last.
Oh ! The antipathies of the place ! Wonderful!! all old, every bit
of it. And talk of Underground Railways in London!! Ah, you
should see the Roman Currycombs made by the earliest Christian
Marthas, who used to meet between 2 and 3 a.m. to sing hymns for
fear of prosecution
5. Charles Jean Pillion, Bishop of Mans.
Well, if Mlle. Lucca has an Archbishop to herself, 'tis but fair that
the other sex should at least get a Bishop. Only put it down with due
regard to topography: " Men" not " Mans."
6. Charles Macchi, Bishop of Reggio di Emilia.
Bishop of another young lady. Don't know her. Is Macchi a
mistake? Do you think they mean Charles Mathews, or, perhaps,
Charles Mackay, who wrote those charming ballets ?
The Fathers of the Consul are just now occupied with the Ladies'
Indentures* issued by the Pope giving all the preserved cases of exe-
crations and ablutions, and also they are engaged in disgusting the
questions contained in the Syllabub.
We are now going to drive in the Torso and up the Pinch'etn. More
in due time. t?
h rom yours ever,
Lavinia R. Junior.
PS. The weather-prophets say we're going to have a very bad time
of it in Rome: but I don't trust much to their vaccinations. Give me
Old Moore and Zamiel for safety. I hope it's not true that Zatniel is
no more. I should miss his work in the new year.
* Perhaps our esteemed Correspondent alludes to the Zatce Sententice.—Ed.
THE CABMAN OF THE FUTURE.
Thanks to the new Cab Act, we are to see, if we live long enough,
some improvement in our cabs ; and it is actually within the hounds of
possibility that we may discover some improvement in their drivers.
Who can tell what changes may be wrought both in their manners and
demeanour, now that they are allowed by law to charge just what they
please—if they do but hoist a flag to tell us what they do please : and
now that they no longer groan beneath the tyranny of vexatious legis-
lation ?
May we not expect to find them civil, cleanly, courteous, and even
conscientious ? Instead of growling out " Wot's this ! " when thev
Mr. Rossy ij3 the Great Antipathy here. I think it s the same that are paid their proper fare, may they not be found to receive it with a
invented that large telescope m Ireland somewhere _ bow and a few graceful words expressive of their respectful gratitude Y
My attention is always being drawn off by some friend to the monu
ments of ancient Rome. Why call them monuments, when they 're
not a bit like ours in the City ? But that's the worst of imitations.
Our Monument at home, by the way, was built by Roman Candlesticks,
in remembrance of the Fire of London, wasn't it ? Or am I confusing
that with the Tower ?
But, there, I'm wandering from my point.
They won't be able to call the Roman Bishops " a lot of old women "
in future, because it's well known that a lot of old women can't keep
secrets and these do. You can't get anything out of 'em.
Oh ! it is a grand sight to see all the Carnavals in purple, the
Bishops, the Petrarchs, and the gorgeous Larkymantrites of the East
walking in profession. The only report about is, that some people
don't think the Great Doctor will be put forward this time, and some
people do. The Great Doctor is, of course, as you know, intended to
declare that the Pope is Invaluable.
There are two great and celebrated Churches in Rome. One is the
or if they conceive themselves entitled to more than has been offered
them, may they not remonstrate with such elegant persuasiveness that
nobody will have the heart to turn a deaf ear to their pleading 'i
Cabs have hitherto been commonly mere vehicles of abuse. Let us
hope the Cab Reform Bill, which was passed last Session may lead to
a reforming of the language of the cabmen.
BALL PRACTICE.
"Stupid things, these country dances," observed the brilliant
Captain Asterisk to his partner during a Sir Roger de Coverley.
" I'm sorry to see that you can blow hot and cold at the same
time," replied, archly, the fascinating Miss Starrs.
"How so ? " inquired the gallant dragoon, smiling.
" Because," returned the witty heiress, pointing her sparkling epigram
by a dart of her costly fan between the light-hearted soldier's fifth and
Sir Peter's, and the other, for distinction, is the Other'un, or to speak I sixth rib, " because 1 see that while you are abusing the dance you are
correctly, the Latter'un; but I am given to understand that this title
is only used when you speak of Sir Peter's as the Former'un.
The new year was hushed in by the Cannons of Sir Angelo, not the
same as those I mentioned before, they were men, these are distillery
also standing up for it."
The dashing militaire was at this moment summoned to join in
"hands across."
*** Under the head of Ball Practice I propose from time to time to
I recollect a Mr. Angelo who used to teach my brothers fencing and *t « ood thiags to say » at dances t0 Partners, &c, &c. Con
sidenng the ordinary difficulties of conversation under these circum-
stances, such a Handy Volume will be, I am sure, most welcome.
single sticks and other sticks ; perhaps it's the same gentleman knighted
and got Cannons. Lucky man to get " Cannons ;" a lovely park it
was some years ago in the neighbourhood of Edgware, and belonged to
a nobleman, who has now departed this life and every other.
They don't know much about spelling here. Look at this, copied
from a list of a Commission. You'll also observe some queer things
about these " Commissionaires " of the Roman Candlestick persua-
sion :—
1. I-nnocent Sannibali, Bishop of Gubbio.
I thought Gubbins bad enough for a name, and I don't like my own ;
but " Gubbio !" goodness! he must be an Innocent. The next is
evidently a Scotch gymnastic, only I never saw "Toddy" spelt like
that before ; but, there! the hash the foreigners do make of our lan-
guage !
2. John Rosati, Bishop of Todi.
3. Julio Arrigoni, Archbishop of Lucca.
I always said that I thought Mlle. Lucca was a very good person,
and I am not sorry to see she has an Archbishop all to herself. I've
heard of a Private Chilblain before this, but never of a Private Arch-
bishop. To continue :—
4. Pantaleon Monserrat oe Navarro, Bishop of Barcelona.
Looks like Pantomime time, doesn't it, and Barcelona is where the
nuts come from.
Yours brilliantly, Patknt Boots.
Linguistic.
It is a mistake to suppose that Ireland has any national language,
like Wales, for example : it is merely &pat-ois that some of the inha-
bitants speak.
PROil SCOTLAND YARD.
Our Police Force, it has been observed, is deficient in height. The
reason is plain. Tall policemen are discouraged, because they might
look over things.
ethnological.
The negro possesses one advantage over the white man—he can
more effectually conceal a black eye.
turning an old saw upside down.
Parturit Mus, nascuntur Monies: Rocheeort producing a Revolution!
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
23
ROME AND RAMSBOTHAM.
[Mrs. Ramsbotham, Junior, writing from Rome during the present
"Economical Consul" as she calls it, gives us the following infor-
mation^
Dear Mr. Punch,
I have ascertained a great many things about the Roman
Candlestick rights and cemeteries, which other Co-respondents of the
daily papers are nnable to get hold of.
My poor dear Mother, when alive, used to tell me how " the Pope
lived in a Vacuum ;" and she was quite right, for the Palace so-called is
still here, and Pious the Ninth (or Master Pretty, as his real name
is) decides in it.
Talking of rights and cemeteries, there are some very peculiar. Por
instance, once a year the good Pope says mass in the Cistern. I wonder
he's so well, considering his age, and the dampness of such a place.
The Cistern, it is true, is fitted up as a chapel, and painted and
decorated ; but I recollect well enough what our cistern was for a long
time after it had been cleaned out, a nasty, mucky, damp, dirty place
as you wouldn't let a cat sleep in, let alone a Human Being saying
Mass.
An Imminent Dilatory of the Roman Church tells me that it is one
of Pope's Priliveges, and likewise of some cannons too (though what
cannons have to do with it, unless it's something to do with the
Temple Power that they talk off, not the Spirituous, which is different
altogether) as I was saying, it's the prilivege of the Pope and some
others to say Mass in their Night-Caps. But Lor ! what a prilivege !
I wouldn't say anything to anybody in mine. I have been here from
the first, which is from the eighth of December last.
Oh ! The antipathies of the place ! Wonderful!! all old, every bit
of it. And talk of Underground Railways in London!! Ah, you
should see the Roman Currycombs made by the earliest Christian
Marthas, who used to meet between 2 and 3 a.m. to sing hymns for
fear of prosecution
5. Charles Jean Pillion, Bishop of Mans.
Well, if Mlle. Lucca has an Archbishop to herself, 'tis but fair that
the other sex should at least get a Bishop. Only put it down with due
regard to topography: " Men" not " Mans."
6. Charles Macchi, Bishop of Reggio di Emilia.
Bishop of another young lady. Don't know her. Is Macchi a
mistake? Do you think they mean Charles Mathews, or, perhaps,
Charles Mackay, who wrote those charming ballets ?
The Fathers of the Consul are just now occupied with the Ladies'
Indentures* issued by the Pope giving all the preserved cases of exe-
crations and ablutions, and also they are engaged in disgusting the
questions contained in the Syllabub.
We are now going to drive in the Torso and up the Pinch'etn. More
in due time. t?
h rom yours ever,
Lavinia R. Junior.
PS. The weather-prophets say we're going to have a very bad time
of it in Rome: but I don't trust much to their vaccinations. Give me
Old Moore and Zamiel for safety. I hope it's not true that Zatniel is
no more. I should miss his work in the new year.
* Perhaps our esteemed Correspondent alludes to the Zatce Sententice.—Ed.
THE CABMAN OF THE FUTURE.
Thanks to the new Cab Act, we are to see, if we live long enough,
some improvement in our cabs ; and it is actually within the hounds of
possibility that we may discover some improvement in their drivers.
Who can tell what changes may be wrought both in their manners and
demeanour, now that they are allowed by law to charge just what they
please—if they do but hoist a flag to tell us what they do please : and
now that they no longer groan beneath the tyranny of vexatious legis-
lation ?
May we not expect to find them civil, cleanly, courteous, and even
conscientious ? Instead of growling out " Wot's this ! " when thev
Mr. Rossy ij3 the Great Antipathy here. I think it s the same that are paid their proper fare, may they not be found to receive it with a
invented that large telescope m Ireland somewhere _ bow and a few graceful words expressive of their respectful gratitude Y
My attention is always being drawn off by some friend to the monu
ments of ancient Rome. Why call them monuments, when they 're
not a bit like ours in the City ? But that's the worst of imitations.
Our Monument at home, by the way, was built by Roman Candlesticks,
in remembrance of the Fire of London, wasn't it ? Or am I confusing
that with the Tower ?
But, there, I'm wandering from my point.
They won't be able to call the Roman Bishops " a lot of old women "
in future, because it's well known that a lot of old women can't keep
secrets and these do. You can't get anything out of 'em.
Oh ! it is a grand sight to see all the Carnavals in purple, the
Bishops, the Petrarchs, and the gorgeous Larkymantrites of the East
walking in profession. The only report about is, that some people
don't think the Great Doctor will be put forward this time, and some
people do. The Great Doctor is, of course, as you know, intended to
declare that the Pope is Invaluable.
There are two great and celebrated Churches in Rome. One is the
or if they conceive themselves entitled to more than has been offered
them, may they not remonstrate with such elegant persuasiveness that
nobody will have the heart to turn a deaf ear to their pleading 'i
Cabs have hitherto been commonly mere vehicles of abuse. Let us
hope the Cab Reform Bill, which was passed last Session may lead to
a reforming of the language of the cabmen.
BALL PRACTICE.
"Stupid things, these country dances," observed the brilliant
Captain Asterisk to his partner during a Sir Roger de Coverley.
" I'm sorry to see that you can blow hot and cold at the same
time," replied, archly, the fascinating Miss Starrs.
"How so ? " inquired the gallant dragoon, smiling.
" Because," returned the witty heiress, pointing her sparkling epigram
by a dart of her costly fan between the light-hearted soldier's fifth and
Sir Peter's, and the other, for distinction, is the Other'un, or to speak I sixth rib, " because 1 see that while you are abusing the dance you are
correctly, the Latter'un; but I am given to understand that this title
is only used when you speak of Sir Peter's as the Former'un.
The new year was hushed in by the Cannons of Sir Angelo, not the
same as those I mentioned before, they were men, these are distillery
also standing up for it."
The dashing militaire was at this moment summoned to join in
"hands across."
*** Under the head of Ball Practice I propose from time to time to
I recollect a Mr. Angelo who used to teach my brothers fencing and *t « ood thiags to say » at dances t0 Partners, &c, &c. Con
sidenng the ordinary difficulties of conversation under these circum-
stances, such a Handy Volume will be, I am sure, most welcome.
single sticks and other sticks ; perhaps it's the same gentleman knighted
and got Cannons. Lucky man to get " Cannons ;" a lovely park it
was some years ago in the neighbourhood of Edgware, and belonged to
a nobleman, who has now departed this life and every other.
They don't know much about spelling here. Look at this, copied
from a list of a Commission. You'll also observe some queer things
about these " Commissionaires " of the Roman Candlestick persua-
sion :—
1. I-nnocent Sannibali, Bishop of Gubbio.
I thought Gubbins bad enough for a name, and I don't like my own ;
but " Gubbio !" goodness! he must be an Innocent. The next is
evidently a Scotch gymnastic, only I never saw "Toddy" spelt like
that before ; but, there! the hash the foreigners do make of our lan-
guage !
2. John Rosati, Bishop of Todi.
3. Julio Arrigoni, Archbishop of Lucca.
I always said that I thought Mlle. Lucca was a very good person,
and I am not sorry to see she has an Archbishop all to herself. I've
heard of a Private Chilblain before this, but never of a Private Arch-
bishop. To continue :—
4. Pantaleon Monserrat oe Navarro, Bishop of Barcelona.
Looks like Pantomime time, doesn't it, and Barcelona is where the
nuts come from.
Yours brilliantly, Patknt Boots.
Linguistic.
It is a mistake to suppose that Ireland has any national language,
like Wales, for example : it is merely &pat-ois that some of the inha-
bitants speak.
PROil SCOTLAND YARD.
Our Police Force, it has been observed, is deficient in height. The
reason is plain. Tall policemen are discouraged, because they might
look over things.
ethnological.
The negro possesses one advantage over the white man—he can
more effectually conceal a black eye.
turning an old saw upside down.
Parturit Mus, nascuntur Monies: Rocheeort producing a Revolution!