Punch (63.1872)

September 28, 1872.] PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 129

" They 're all alike," says my Aunt, when the Madehen pauses to

take breath. " I know as well as possible what she's been saying, THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN

^^^'W^S^r couldn't quite follow," A<*'°" *— '« *•

when one really hasn't understood a single word. >yr DEAIi 0LD Punch

My Aunt continues, " I'11 be bound she's been saying that she's ^<=^^^^^^^ Th h bl P '

never seen anything of the sort in the lodgings before we came, and /^S^^h^MSssSSSla^ >^^^>k tV If ?~

that if there are Bonsers here, we must have brought them ourselves. / C^^^HI. >^ » tuion or the

The idea of our going about swarmelling with travels of Bonsers, V $ JS&gmWmM^ W Al honourable Maby

ike the man with the Illustrious Fleas. Horrid!" vmKBXeufflm, / Fi Darkle, usually

Does she really think the Maid has been saying this, I ask. AHnrnV \ f ^nown as ^

"Certainlv," returns my Aunt; "that's what they'd say in /"'v' 'IhB ■iM I r*#J T bPABKLE>

England." ' ' '' <lBSBEi i> V Sheweth,

Happy Thought.—Patriotic Song, What will they say in England f TpjP^M^^ Jf \. That your Pe-

Reply to this, by my Aunt, That's what they'd say in England. \^BBiP^m> \ titioner has been

"Do tell her," says my Aunt, impatiently, "to send Feowlein /l^Sm^S^L--^ /*y called the Belle of

Fbostek here, and get rid of her." J /^kBIW .Ja""""^ I (J the yeason> during

Happy German Thought. — '1 Die Feattlein Feowsteb nach here LJu^S&llm^Q*^^ I F tlle ^ast summer :

kommen machen," by which I intend to convey " Make Miss Feow- M^l^^^^W^ '&\\ I \ That she has two

stek come here." it f f^mtsmm \L I sisters married ; one

" Ja, Herr" she answers. Exit, grinning. If /iiM^B^SPk "18^^; to a banker, who has

" I wonder what she's gone to say or do," mv Aunt answers. I f' Iwfsiil I JSS^S^ - * to do^ an ^ea °^ an^~

So do T. By the way, there's one difficulty that strikes me. It is, £ wM)' wli^F V l ift thing beyond mak-

what is our legal position in Germany with regard to the Landlady ■ Y? mm) JmWi^L ]i\1n III' l\| ing monev aD(i Qis"

and the lodgings? mPwUj&MNJ * ^ playing his wealth;

Have we taken the rooms bvtlie month, or week, or day, or what? ^f|\vl -^s?^tn»e^_ \k\ ! 'J t'^ie ot'ier *° an ^lfe*r

Is it possible to take them for less than a month in Germany? J to a Peerage and four

What arrangement did Fobtescee make ? He never told us. If >^^^^^^^=^r^^;.l\ 7 estates, who bears m

we go away on the first day, can thev sue us for a month's rent? y' ^mK^n --^^y Mi his face unmistake-

If sued, in what Court, and who is the best solicitor to go to? A —' r, 3SfiJ^^^^^=ofc(s)Uv able evidence of the

German solicitor, who only speaks his own language, won't do. TJ1 'TI|m|pji§":^S=^ N (P •") tfut , the report

Suppose FoKTESCXih", as our agent, to have made a contract for a " ^^1^^--=^ c-^L O that there is heredi-

month, do Wansers invalidate it ? Then, if there is a lawsuit, isn't tary madness m the

the practice in Germany regulated by the Court-Martial spirit, and
isn't the loser, in addition to paying his loss, punished with im-
prisonment in a fortress ? "A German might be," says my Aunt,
"but not an English person who claimed protection under the
Flattish Brig."

I suppose she's right, but there seems to be a difficulty about it
somewhere.

Happy Thought.—In answer to my Aunt's despairing "What
can we do ? " it suddenly occurs to me that my friend De. Caspae
will come and settle the matter in his own language. I volunteer

to go out and fetch him.

******

Caspae has settled it with a high hand, judging by his manner,
and tone.

The Young Person quailed before him, and the grinning Madehen
became dumb and glum. From Caspae's way of " giving it them,"

family

That she believes both of her sisters to be very unhappily married :
That she is a simple-minded English girl, who would do her best
to make herself a good and loving wife [who '11 murder old
Judy ?—P.] and she does not mean to lie away her heart to please
anyone:

That she has been made the subject of newspaper paragraphs by
newspaper reporters who have talked of her as "the charming debu-
tante" and who have announced her marriage with a nobleman to
whom she never said a word, and have afterwards contradicted the
report:

That your Petitioner's mother and her intimate friends have con-
stituted themselves a kind of domestic police, and have driven away
every honest young fellow who would make her an affectionate
husband, and surrounded her with lounging dandies, millionnaires,
and young Peers, many of whom have a very doubtful reputation:

I can judge how a Prussian Officer could make requisitions when he | That she has been turned into a Milliner s dummy, and satiated
wished to present the victims with a bit of his mind. My Aunt I wlth dresses, bonnets, and trumpery of all kinds, which she believes
said after wards, "that she really felt for the unhappy people in the her mother cannot afford to pay for :

shop, and it was only by thinking of the Bonsers that she could That she has been ordered about, and dressed and undressed like
keep herself from Doctoring beggor Caspae not to scold them so a ^ for morning rides garden parties afternoon rides, dinner
severely " parties, operas, balls, and (0, Mr. Punch, Sir!) churches:

We won't try any more lodgings, but move over to the Grande That her life is a burthen to her, and she is now being carried
Monarque, to which hotel I wish we'd gone on our arrival. abo^ from country-house to country-house m Scotland, with the

certainty of suffering the same penance m England, when the
hunting begins :

That she has a dear old Bachelor Uncle who has about a thousand
a year, and who has promised her six hundred a year if she marries
the man she loves, and the remainder on his death :

That the Curate of her parish, the Rev. Me. Daisy, is a thorough
gentleman, and a man of noble disposition, who looks after his poor:
That the said Curate pulled Stroke in the Oxford boat, and has a
small independence :

That the Curate would like to marry her, and she would like to
marry the Curate :

Your Petitioner, therefore, humbly prays dear old Punch to save
her from her friends, and give her leave to marry the Curate :
And your Petitioner will ever pray, &c, &c.

[We shall give her away ourselves on condition that we kiss the
Bride, and we shall find out the Bishop of the diocese, and interfere
with his shovel hat, unless he gives the Curate a comfortable
parsonage immediately.—P.]

MORE AUTUMN MANOEUVRES.

(Answers to Sporting Correspondents.')

Bullethead.—You can shoot without a licence, and on anybody's
ground. Try it.

Winkle.—A shooting licence must be signed by the Aechbishop
of Cantebbeby.

Mufti.—In using muzzle-loaders, which are now almost exploded,
it is unsportsmanlike to put the wad in first and then the shot.

TJpup.—The best weapon for lark-shooting is a seven-chambered
revolver.

Don Quickshot.—The only gun for hares is one fitted with a hare-
trigger. But why ask such a question ?

Wheels within Wheels.

We had supposed that the custom of breaking on the wheel had
been abolished, except in the case of butterflies (as when an educated
man reviews a fast lady's novel), but it seems that in Servia the
punishment is retained, and that two miscreants were so put to
death in July last. They deserved that or any other bad fate. But
in the interest of civilisation, Mr. Punch ventures " to speak to the
Man at the Wheel,"—?, e., the wheel of state in Servia, and to
suggest that the torturing criminals to death is an anachronism.
At all events he should administer chloroform, or the English
leading articles of September.

Stupid Verse on Stupid Act.

The Germans have arrested—Who ?
(You should say whom) Monsieeb About.
What has he done, I ask of you ?
Called Germany a Bug-About.

Feee Tbajtslatioit. — Medio tutissimus Ibis. The Ibis is safest
in the meadow.

Vol. 63.

5