DOI issue:
August 9, 1873
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16937#0070
58
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 9, 1873.
A GREAT FAVOUR.
Butler (at Luncheon). “Steak a little Hard, Ma’am? (Pause.) We’ye a partic’ler tender Leg o’ Lamb in the Hall—shall
I INQUIRE IF YOU CAN HAYE A SLICE OF THAT, Ma'AM ? ”
• REVERENCE AND CONTEMPT OF COURT.
Contempt of Court, it stands to common sense,
Is a particularly grave offence.
And clearly, printed comment on report
Of pending trial is Contempt of Court.
For who can fail to see, if not stone-blind,
How it must prejudice a jury’s mind ?
Because no moral forces rule the pen,
As wig and gown the tongues of chartered men.
Clad in long robe, and crowned with equine hair,
The Pleader cannot speak one word unfair,
Inspired with reason by the horsehair crown,
With honour and with justice by the gown,
Pure logic flows from his superior part,
While genuine feeling gushes from his heart.
Two things no Barrister did ever do ;
Suggest the false, or falsify the true,
By knavish innuendo or pretence,
Cajolery or illusive eloquence.
A witness perjured he will ne’er surmise,
Whilst ’tis himself that lies and knows he lies.
He never, fee’d to play a client’s game,
0 never, foully tries to blast fair fame !
His earnest words express his firm belief ;
For every Barrister believes his brief.
Say what he will, his words can nought avail
Of Justice by false weight to sink the scale.
He only should your jurymen address ;
But, sad to say, you can but gag the Press.
In club, at board, in converse, every kind
Of critic has the power to speak his mind ;
And their Contempt of Court is freely shown
Hot in discussion unrestrained alone ;
Contempt that gives the face of Court such kicks
As might the very hair of wigs unfix.
’Twere dreadful such contempt of Court should be,
If it balked justice in the least degree.
owner, and are the bounty of Providence. The erudite Phacettus
has said that they do not sting this month.
Venator. Do they not ? Why then ... 0, Master, 0 !
Piscator. You have indeed a noble handful. And note, with
gratitude, that your suffering is the cause of my happiness. For
every misery that I miss, is a new mercy, and, therefore, as you
should rejoice with your friend, let us both be thankful. So. Put
them in your pocket, and listen to what I have to say as to your line
of conduct in fishing, and the use of hair, for my instructions draw
to a close.
Venator. And, 0 Master, my money is well nigh gone.
Piscator. True happiness is not in riches. But for this line I was
speaking of. You must dye your hair with a pint of strong ale, a
nound of soot, a little quantity of the juice of walnut-tree leaves,
boiled in a pipkin. Lay it on smoothly with your brush, and drive
it in thin. It will turn your hair to a kind of greenish yellow. Once
doing will serve if you lay it on well, for doubtless such coloured
hair is most choice and the most useful for an angler, b.ut let it not
be too green. How we are at the river, go to that holiow tree and
throw your line.
Venator. It is a beautiful seat in the hollow tree, and I have so
craftily disposed my legs in a cleft of the trunk that I cannot be
pulled out by the strongest pike. 0, Master ! . . . here is a wasp!
• • \0!
Piscator. Wasps build their nests in hollow trees on the banks of
a stream. I will go on quickly to the next meadow.
Venator. 0, Master! ... it is a swarm! . . . 0! I cannot get
out of the tree!
are pursuing me!
0 ! ... 0 ! ... 0! ... I am free! . . . they
. . . 0 ! 0 ! Master! where are you ?
Barbarous. * *
leaves us, and Convocation is not sitting, so we can
only appeal to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
to satisfy us as to the correctness of a report that students who are
undergoing training in practical organic chemistry are allowed, nay
encouraged, to “ irritate ants on litmus paper” !
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 9, 1873.
A GREAT FAVOUR.
Butler (at Luncheon). “Steak a little Hard, Ma’am? (Pause.) We’ye a partic’ler tender Leg o’ Lamb in the Hall—shall
I INQUIRE IF YOU CAN HAYE A SLICE OF THAT, Ma'AM ? ”
• REVERENCE AND CONTEMPT OF COURT.
Contempt of Court, it stands to common sense,
Is a particularly grave offence.
And clearly, printed comment on report
Of pending trial is Contempt of Court.
For who can fail to see, if not stone-blind,
How it must prejudice a jury’s mind ?
Because no moral forces rule the pen,
As wig and gown the tongues of chartered men.
Clad in long robe, and crowned with equine hair,
The Pleader cannot speak one word unfair,
Inspired with reason by the horsehair crown,
With honour and with justice by the gown,
Pure logic flows from his superior part,
While genuine feeling gushes from his heart.
Two things no Barrister did ever do ;
Suggest the false, or falsify the true,
By knavish innuendo or pretence,
Cajolery or illusive eloquence.
A witness perjured he will ne’er surmise,
Whilst ’tis himself that lies and knows he lies.
He never, fee’d to play a client’s game,
0 never, foully tries to blast fair fame !
His earnest words express his firm belief ;
For every Barrister believes his brief.
Say what he will, his words can nought avail
Of Justice by false weight to sink the scale.
He only should your jurymen address ;
But, sad to say, you can but gag the Press.
In club, at board, in converse, every kind
Of critic has the power to speak his mind ;
And their Contempt of Court is freely shown
Hot in discussion unrestrained alone ;
Contempt that gives the face of Court such kicks
As might the very hair of wigs unfix.
’Twere dreadful such contempt of Court should be,
If it balked justice in the least degree.
owner, and are the bounty of Providence. The erudite Phacettus
has said that they do not sting this month.
Venator. Do they not ? Why then ... 0, Master, 0 !
Piscator. You have indeed a noble handful. And note, with
gratitude, that your suffering is the cause of my happiness. For
every misery that I miss, is a new mercy, and, therefore, as you
should rejoice with your friend, let us both be thankful. So. Put
them in your pocket, and listen to what I have to say as to your line
of conduct in fishing, and the use of hair, for my instructions draw
to a close.
Venator. And, 0 Master, my money is well nigh gone.
Piscator. True happiness is not in riches. But for this line I was
speaking of. You must dye your hair with a pint of strong ale, a
nound of soot, a little quantity of the juice of walnut-tree leaves,
boiled in a pipkin. Lay it on smoothly with your brush, and drive
it in thin. It will turn your hair to a kind of greenish yellow. Once
doing will serve if you lay it on well, for doubtless such coloured
hair is most choice and the most useful for an angler, b.ut let it not
be too green. How we are at the river, go to that holiow tree and
throw your line.
Venator. It is a beautiful seat in the hollow tree, and I have so
craftily disposed my legs in a cleft of the trunk that I cannot be
pulled out by the strongest pike. 0, Master ! . . . here is a wasp!
• • \0!
Piscator. Wasps build their nests in hollow trees on the banks of
a stream. I will go on quickly to the next meadow.
Venator. 0, Master! ... it is a swarm! . . . 0! I cannot get
out of the tree!
are pursuing me!
0 ! ... 0 ! ... 0! ... I am free! . . . they
. . . 0 ! 0 ! Master! where are you ?
Barbarous. * *
leaves us, and Convocation is not sitting, so we can
only appeal to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
to satisfy us as to the correctness of a report that students who are
undergoing training in practical organic chemistry are allowed, nay
encouraged, to “ irritate ants on litmus paper” !