DOI issue:
October 25, 1873
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16937#0174
162
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 25, 1873.
GEMS FROM THE JOURNALS.
S Mr. Punch has solaced
the wet days—that is,
most of the days in his
vacation—by reading his
contemporaries, he gener-
ously oners the Universe a
few of his scissor-notes.
Where Tarporley is,
and whether tarpaulins
were invented there, and
named from the place, we
do not know. But we do
know that it is a place
where prompt justice is
done:—
“ Tarporley.—Early on
Tuesday evening last it was
discovered that two fine sheep had been
worried which were in a flock belonging
to Mr. Finchet, of Beech Lane Farm.
The owners of the dogs which killed the
sheep had been shot, as soon as they
knew, to prevent any further outrage.”
We admire the expedition with
which right was done: we also ad-
mire the good feeling which delayed
execution until the offenders were
apprised of their crime.
The next is from the Birming-
ham. Daily Post. We constantly
hear of the fastidiousness of our
menials, but here is a new case. A
housemaid declines to take care of an ugly child. But as no mother
can believe that her child is ugly, the announcement will probably
not prevent any person from writing to the advertiser.
Id
OUSEMAID (experienced) At once, willing to take charge of
mum ~e appearance. Good references.—Apply, &c., Hagl<
-Child, of nice
Road, Stourbridge.
But the following is far more interesting. It is from the Liverpool
Mercury, and it seems to need no introduction, though the adver-
tiser needs one. We are glad to see that the young lady is pious:—
A YOUNG WIDOW (29), resident of Liverpool, left with four pretty
A. children, wishes to meet with a PARTNER for life. Has a houseful of
furniture in good condition. Would prefer a member of some denomination.
Is agreeable and kind. References exchanged. Address * * *, North Wales.
“Four pretty children! ” Who should know better than their
Mamma ? What is the lowest denomination that would suit her ?
Will she take a Jumper, or does she draw the line at Baptists ?
Some kind of Dissenting Parliament has been held at Ipswich.
Just before its assembling, a local paper put forth the following
modest appeal:—
“ The Congregational Union will honour Ipswich with a visit before our
next issue. Not only the mental but the physical man will have to receive
attention ; and all who can lend a bed-room may be allowed to entertain an
angel unawares. Let the Christians of Ipswich come readily and generously
forward to accommodate for a few nights the Messengers of the Churches.”
“Messengers.” Ah, you well-informed schismatic. You know
the meaning of_ “ angels,” do you ? But most people do not, and
that “ entertaining an angel ” (whether you ought to use Scripture
words for your advertisements, you know best) was meant to he very
effective with pious sentimentalists. An angel with a woollen com-
forter and a fat umbrella is a new type.
Let us relieve our minds with something murderous—
CHALLENGE TO WESTON VOLUNTEERS.—A gentleman resid-
Vy' ing within four miles of Weston-super-Mare is OPEN TO SHOOT any
Member of the Weston Volunteers.
The Weston Volunteers (unless they can get a snap-shot before the
gentleman is ready) had perhaps better keep beyond four miles of
Weston-super-Mare.
An esteemed resident in Belfast has lately departed this life. The
Belfast Evening Telegraph makes the following announcement
“ *** The length of Mr. * * * *’s funeral has compelled us to omit our
first leading article.”
One has heard of driving a coach and six horses through an Act of
Parliament. Here is a hearse driven through a newspaper.
The critic in the Eastbourne Express would do well, now that the
season is over, to take a rudimentary course of English literature.
He has seen a display of fashionable dresses, and is ‘ ‘ reminded of
some beautiful parterre of flowers, where every colour is richly
blended, so gloriously described by Milton—
‘ Age cannot wither her, nor custom steal
Her infinite variety.’ ”
Milton’s fine play, Antony and Cleopatra, is now performing at
Drury Lane, and if the critic goes there and listens, he will hear the
words he has quoted; hut, as Een O’Barbus is, as his name shows,
an Irishman, he pronounces the word “steal” as stale, and, curiously
enough, it is so spelt in the books. This proves that Mr. Whalley
is right in stating that Irish influence is everywhere.
Here is another thing that will he interesting to our Dissenting
friends:—
“ COMMERCIAL TRIALS.”—A Baptist Dissenter, living in a retired
villa, in * * * is extensively engaged as a legal Accountant in eco-
nomically extricating persons from Commercial Embarrassments without
publicity, and with protection from arrests. Respectable persons, male or
female, thus situated, are temporarily afforded the comforts of a socially
religious home, and confidential counsel during retirement. References to a
Minister of the denomination required and given.—Address, &c.
Really, we could almost wish to he “ commercially tried,” for the
sake of entering this socially religious home. Doubtless the hymns,
etc., are carefully selected with reference to the condition of the
pious but embarrassed guest, and the history of the Merciless
Creditor in the parable, and similar narratives are “ improved” for
his benefit. But we observe that such happiness is restricted to the
denomination. Only Baptists may he thus comforted. Might one
ask of members of that exceptionally stern denomination how they
reconcile getting into “ commercial trials ” with the injunction
“ Owe no man anything.” They are so desperately hard on Church
folk and other outcasts, that we may venture the question.
We penultimately present an advertisement which has evidently
been wrung out of the writer by a long series of tormenting she-
menials. We heartily compassionate him, and trust that he may
get the illiterate person he wants :—
WANTED, a good GENERAL SERVANT, who can neither read nor
write, nor be able to do tatting, crochet, or embroidery. A good
character is indispensable, and she must be able to cook fish, meat, and
vegetables fit to be eaten. Any housekeeper who is parting with such a
treasure, or who knows of such a one out of place, will confer a favour on the
Advertiser by addressing, &c.
He wants something a good deal more like an Angel than the
beings who were to be entertained at Ipswich, but there may he
such a creature, and we trust that she will come to console the
advertiser.
Mr. Punch did not until the other day know Consett, but he
perceives, from its Guardian, that Consett knows Mr. Punch, and
treasures his epigrams. He hopes for long intimacy; and as there
is nothing so nice as an act of politeness at the beginning of a
friendship, Mr. Punch extracts a passage from the Guardian’’s
“ London letter.” The happy Arcadians of the Vale of Derwent
are informed that—
“ The Opera Comique has gone a little out of its usual course in giving us
serious Italian Opera, with a full company of Italian artistes and such a
prima donna as Madame Ristori. But the boon of genuine operatic per-
formances at low prices is too great for Londoners, for them to question the
consistency of their being presented at the pretty little house in the Strand.
These performances are drawing large and appreciative audiences; and any of
your music-loving readers who may intend visiting London, should by no
means miss this attractive entertainment.”
This would imply that the London Correspondent has heard
Mat)ame Ristori singing in Serious Opera, or he would not have
recommended visitors to attend. We have not yet had that ad-
vantage, but have sent to secure stalls for her first performance in
Norma.
A Bad Road Blocked.
Miss Rhoda Garrett writes to contradict the reports that her
canvassing against Mr. Henry James, as the most determined
opponent, last session, of Woman’s Suffrage, was one of his principal
helps to the head of the poll at Taunton. His friends must he glad
to hear it. It could not have been a pleasant thought to them that
a Member in every way so desirable should have found his way into
the House via the Garret.
Canine Reflection. #
Does that sagacious animal, a dog, think ? If so, what is it pro-
bable that he thanks of the master who feeds him from his plate at
table F No dog, that can help it, will share his meal with another.
Perhaps the thought of the faithful creature really is one of wonder
what it can be that makes his master give away anything good to
eat.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 25, 1873.
GEMS FROM THE JOURNALS.
S Mr. Punch has solaced
the wet days—that is,
most of the days in his
vacation—by reading his
contemporaries, he gener-
ously oners the Universe a
few of his scissor-notes.
Where Tarporley is,
and whether tarpaulins
were invented there, and
named from the place, we
do not know. But we do
know that it is a place
where prompt justice is
done:—
“ Tarporley.—Early on
Tuesday evening last it was
discovered that two fine sheep had been
worried which were in a flock belonging
to Mr. Finchet, of Beech Lane Farm.
The owners of the dogs which killed the
sheep had been shot, as soon as they
knew, to prevent any further outrage.”
We admire the expedition with
which right was done: we also ad-
mire the good feeling which delayed
execution until the offenders were
apprised of their crime.
The next is from the Birming-
ham. Daily Post. We constantly
hear of the fastidiousness of our
menials, but here is a new case. A
housemaid declines to take care of an ugly child. But as no mother
can believe that her child is ugly, the announcement will probably
not prevent any person from writing to the advertiser.
Id
OUSEMAID (experienced) At once, willing to take charge of
mum ~e appearance. Good references.—Apply, &c., Hagl<
-Child, of nice
Road, Stourbridge.
But the following is far more interesting. It is from the Liverpool
Mercury, and it seems to need no introduction, though the adver-
tiser needs one. We are glad to see that the young lady is pious:—
A YOUNG WIDOW (29), resident of Liverpool, left with four pretty
A. children, wishes to meet with a PARTNER for life. Has a houseful of
furniture in good condition. Would prefer a member of some denomination.
Is agreeable and kind. References exchanged. Address * * *, North Wales.
“Four pretty children! ” Who should know better than their
Mamma ? What is the lowest denomination that would suit her ?
Will she take a Jumper, or does she draw the line at Baptists ?
Some kind of Dissenting Parliament has been held at Ipswich.
Just before its assembling, a local paper put forth the following
modest appeal:—
“ The Congregational Union will honour Ipswich with a visit before our
next issue. Not only the mental but the physical man will have to receive
attention ; and all who can lend a bed-room may be allowed to entertain an
angel unawares. Let the Christians of Ipswich come readily and generously
forward to accommodate for a few nights the Messengers of the Churches.”
“Messengers.” Ah, you well-informed schismatic. You know
the meaning of_ “ angels,” do you ? But most people do not, and
that “ entertaining an angel ” (whether you ought to use Scripture
words for your advertisements, you know best) was meant to he very
effective with pious sentimentalists. An angel with a woollen com-
forter and a fat umbrella is a new type.
Let us relieve our minds with something murderous—
CHALLENGE TO WESTON VOLUNTEERS.—A gentleman resid-
Vy' ing within four miles of Weston-super-Mare is OPEN TO SHOOT any
Member of the Weston Volunteers.
The Weston Volunteers (unless they can get a snap-shot before the
gentleman is ready) had perhaps better keep beyond four miles of
Weston-super-Mare.
An esteemed resident in Belfast has lately departed this life. The
Belfast Evening Telegraph makes the following announcement
“ *** The length of Mr. * * * *’s funeral has compelled us to omit our
first leading article.”
One has heard of driving a coach and six horses through an Act of
Parliament. Here is a hearse driven through a newspaper.
The critic in the Eastbourne Express would do well, now that the
season is over, to take a rudimentary course of English literature.
He has seen a display of fashionable dresses, and is ‘ ‘ reminded of
some beautiful parterre of flowers, where every colour is richly
blended, so gloriously described by Milton—
‘ Age cannot wither her, nor custom steal
Her infinite variety.’ ”
Milton’s fine play, Antony and Cleopatra, is now performing at
Drury Lane, and if the critic goes there and listens, he will hear the
words he has quoted; hut, as Een O’Barbus is, as his name shows,
an Irishman, he pronounces the word “steal” as stale, and, curiously
enough, it is so spelt in the books. This proves that Mr. Whalley
is right in stating that Irish influence is everywhere.
Here is another thing that will he interesting to our Dissenting
friends:—
“ COMMERCIAL TRIALS.”—A Baptist Dissenter, living in a retired
villa, in * * * is extensively engaged as a legal Accountant in eco-
nomically extricating persons from Commercial Embarrassments without
publicity, and with protection from arrests. Respectable persons, male or
female, thus situated, are temporarily afforded the comforts of a socially
religious home, and confidential counsel during retirement. References to a
Minister of the denomination required and given.—Address, &c.
Really, we could almost wish to he “ commercially tried,” for the
sake of entering this socially religious home. Doubtless the hymns,
etc., are carefully selected with reference to the condition of the
pious but embarrassed guest, and the history of the Merciless
Creditor in the parable, and similar narratives are “ improved” for
his benefit. But we observe that such happiness is restricted to the
denomination. Only Baptists may he thus comforted. Might one
ask of members of that exceptionally stern denomination how they
reconcile getting into “ commercial trials ” with the injunction
“ Owe no man anything.” They are so desperately hard on Church
folk and other outcasts, that we may venture the question.
We penultimately present an advertisement which has evidently
been wrung out of the writer by a long series of tormenting she-
menials. We heartily compassionate him, and trust that he may
get the illiterate person he wants :—
WANTED, a good GENERAL SERVANT, who can neither read nor
write, nor be able to do tatting, crochet, or embroidery. A good
character is indispensable, and she must be able to cook fish, meat, and
vegetables fit to be eaten. Any housekeeper who is parting with such a
treasure, or who knows of such a one out of place, will confer a favour on the
Advertiser by addressing, &c.
He wants something a good deal more like an Angel than the
beings who were to be entertained at Ipswich, but there may he
such a creature, and we trust that she will come to console the
advertiser.
Mr. Punch did not until the other day know Consett, but he
perceives, from its Guardian, that Consett knows Mr. Punch, and
treasures his epigrams. He hopes for long intimacy; and as there
is nothing so nice as an act of politeness at the beginning of a
friendship, Mr. Punch extracts a passage from the Guardian’’s
“ London letter.” The happy Arcadians of the Vale of Derwent
are informed that—
“ The Opera Comique has gone a little out of its usual course in giving us
serious Italian Opera, with a full company of Italian artistes and such a
prima donna as Madame Ristori. But the boon of genuine operatic per-
formances at low prices is too great for Londoners, for them to question the
consistency of their being presented at the pretty little house in the Strand.
These performances are drawing large and appreciative audiences; and any of
your music-loving readers who may intend visiting London, should by no
means miss this attractive entertainment.”
This would imply that the London Correspondent has heard
Mat)ame Ristori singing in Serious Opera, or he would not have
recommended visitors to attend. We have not yet had that ad-
vantage, but have sent to secure stalls for her first performance in
Norma.
A Bad Road Blocked.
Miss Rhoda Garrett writes to contradict the reports that her
canvassing against Mr. Henry James, as the most determined
opponent, last session, of Woman’s Suffrage, was one of his principal
helps to the head of the poll at Taunton. His friends must he glad
to hear it. It could not have been a pleasant thought to them that
a Member in every way so desirable should have found his way into
the House via the Garret.
Canine Reflection. #
Does that sagacious animal, a dog, think ? If so, what is it pro-
bable that he thanks of the master who feeds him from his plate at
table F No dog, that can help it, will share his meal with another.
Perhaps the thought of the faithful creature really is one of wonder
what it can be that makes his master give away anything good to
eat.