Punch (65.1873)

November 8, 1873.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

181

EQUALITY.”

Customer. “Aw—I wish to be Measured ’Couple ’Pair o’ Boots.”

[.Removes one.

Tradesman. “ Well, Str, fact is, 1 ’m just going in to my Luncheon.
If you’d call in about Half an Hour-” [Tableau !

DEMORALISING TALES.

The attention of Sir Wilfrid Lawson is respectfully
invited to an instructive police-case, which occurred the
other day at Guildhall. Two lads, Edward Engledew,
sixteen, shopboy, and Harry Tucker, fifteen, ware-
houseboy, were charged before Mr. Alderman Allen
with stealing ten pounds in money, and watches, chains,
studs, and a large quantity of goods, of the total value
of about one hundred pounds, the property of their em-
ployer, Mr. J. A. Russell, of 37, Fore Street, City, pawn-
broker. In the possession of these juvenile robbers of
an Uncle was found a quantity of “trashy hooks,”
including The Footpad, the Smuggler, and The Prison
Breaker. These boys were both respectably connected,
and one of them, Engledew, had brought to service an
excellent character with him. They told the constable
who arrested them that it was reading those books that
had led them into trouble. Now, pernicious literature,
as incentive to crime, is worse than intoxicating liquors.
The generous and cordial beverages, called intoxicating
from their abuse, do not intoxicate if well used ; then
they cheer and invigorate. But pernicious literature
is pernicious in itself, and necessarily corrupts the
minds of its readers. They ought, therefore, to be de-
barred from all access to it, and what better means could
the United Kingdom Alliance devise for that purpose
than the enactment of a Permissive Prohibitory Bill to
shut up all the booksellers’ shops P

Students at Swindon.

The Swindon Literary Institute pleaseth us much.
It wants two things—a Library and a Billiard Table.
‘ ‘ It appears to be obvious that the Institute is not in a
position to start both.” At a meeting, and, after a long-
discussion, ft was resolved to buy the—Billiard Table.
Evidently, the members think that it is not the Cue
of a Literary Institute to read. But as a slight con-
cession to the interests of literature, could they not
hang round the Billiard Room a lot of those school
labels, with texts, proverbs, morals, and the like, for
the perusal of members, between the games ? The
national schoolmaster of the place would, we are sure,
kindly select them, and thus might sport and instruction
he agreeably combined.

Better Name for the Fusion Party.—Confusion.

NO SURRENDER!

To hear a brave deliverance is a rare and goodly thing ;

And.France has heard a gallant one from her lineal crownless King;
A King who scorns to take a crown which is other than his own.

He will wear the same that his fathers wore; he sticks to that alone.

No crown for him of modern cast, remodelled and remade ;

None with rebellion’s badge in it, your tricolor cockade.

His emblem is the Flag of White—that must his banner be,

And yours ; or you, ye men of France, at a distance he will see!

His is the faith of other days ; his faith must shape his rule.

To say so shows him a true man, and, by your leave, no fool.

The hypocrite he might have played, as kings have done before,

And getting what they got by it, of himself made one fool more.

At need he law and order to maintain would dare by force,

And his law take from the Syllabus, as St. Louis’ heir, of course.

He gives you that to understand, contemptuous of disguise ;
Messieurs, he might have spoke you fair, and told you winning lies.

He bides his time—which nothing can but miracle restore—

But he believes in miracle—is a happy man therefore.

Honour to faith and chivalry, for old dreams although they tight!

A Quixote as a Bayard is to the full as true a knight.

Two figures, odd and out-of-date, before the world yet stand,

And quaint they are, and queer to see; yet withal of aspect grand :
Fact in the face both fly, and each hopes on against all hope,

But they bear themselves with dignity, the Pretender and the Pope.

For them and theirs the world seems like to have no country soon,
Where shall they find a resting-place that’s nearer than the moon ?
The moon and all the stars beside might fall about their ears :
Unflinchingly those twain would stand amid the tumbling spheres.

’Tis a right valiant quality, which admiration draws,

Firmness or obstinacy called, as in truth or error’s cause.

And a fine thing is the fixed belief that doubt can never feel;

And the whole hog, snout, tail, bristles and all, is a marvellous
hearty meal.

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FATHERS OF THE CITY.

Some of the above gentlemen had, the other day (according to our
excellent friend, the City Press) what might be termed, if we were ,
vulgar, a shindy. In the Common Council there was a quarrel over j
certain expenditure, and Mr. Deputy Fry, who had objected to it,
was politely told that not half as much money would be spent in the
way complained of as he, the Deputy, had laid out in entertaining
the Shah; and something was said about Mr. Fry’s being “in-
spired” to object. Then indeed there was a fry.

“ Mr. Deputy Fry thought it was a great pity that Mr. Bedford could
not differ from any member without making personal references. He (the
speaker) did not spend money for the entertainment of the Sultan ; it was
the Court -who had done so. As to any one inspiring him, this was a thing !
he did not allow any one to do.

“ Mr. Bedford : I said it was not you.

“ Mr. Deputy Fry : You said the motion was inspired by the enemy.
Where is the enemy ? Let the man be produced.

“ Mr. Bedford : I distinctly said not the deputy. I said the enemy.

“Mr. Deputy Fry : Then I say who is the enemy ? I have a right to ask
this. I defy Mr. Bedford to produce him. I declare before every member
of this Court that I was not inspired.”

This modest disclaimer of inspiration is all very well, but the
utterances of the Fathers of the City are so plainly supernatural,
that we cannot accept the denial. No mere man could talk as these
superior beings talk. As Lord Byron says—

“ Fie !

I thought you had more religion, ‘Mr.’ Fry.”