Punch (65.1873)

December 6, 1873.]

223

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

OUR AUXILIARIES.

Fusileer (on the Gold Coast). “ Houssah !—By George, you’d look a rum

’UN AMONG THE ‘ HUSSARS ’ AT ALDERSHOT ! ”

Houssa (responding cheerfully). “Dam’ Coffee! Yah, yah, yah!”

PROOF OF PROSPERITY.

At a meeting of the Cardiff Board of Guardians, on Saturday last week, a
remarkable circumstance came under consideration. It was that of a revolt in
the workhouse, which had occurred on the day before among the female paupers.
This outbreak was provoked by the retention in the workhouse dietary of
Australian meat, notwithstanding the disapproval of it,* *when first introduced,
expressed by those invited to consume it. Their refusal of the meat had
induced the Guardians to try it themselves ; an experiment which proved it
to be, in fact, exceedingly palatable. So, therefore, says a contemporary:—•

“ The Guardians resolved to continue its use, hut their decision resulted in a novel kind
of outbreak among the more rebellious paupers. On Friday morning, when the nurse
entered the Lock Hospital for the purpose of giving the inmates their breakfast, she was
assailed with a shower of spoons, bread, and other missiles. The Master was sent for,
and order was temporarily restored. Subsequently, however, seven of the women jumped
out of the window, got into the garden, and conducted themselves like lunatics, until the
police were sent for. They were taken before the bench, and sentenced to twenty-one
days’ imprisonment.”

The dietary which these ladies will have experienced by the end of their
three weeks will probably have left them with such an appetite that they
wall be ready to devour Australian meat eagerly, as much so as they could
if they were the daughters of clergymen, solicitors, medical men, or clerks in
the Civil Service. But this by the way. It is to be remarked that the objection
to eat Australian meat was not confined to a section of the inmates of Cardiff
Workhouse. They, those who actually mutinied, were indeed the more
rebellious of the paupers; but all were more or less rebellious. The whole of
them indignantly objected to eat Australian meat. And, no doubt, how
naturally! Had they not, probably, most of them, been accustomed to eat
regular butcher’s meat, and that three or four times a day ? Did they not
belong to the class whose consumption of it has raised it to its present
prices ? Whilst they were in the receipt of high wages were they not accus-
tomed to eat their fill of it, regardless of expense, or the expediency of
making any provision for the future ? And, now that they have come to want,
are they not very naturally repugnant to the idea of food which they imagine
inferior to that they have been used to? We cannot wonder that paupers at
Cardiff, or anywhere else, should turn up their noses at Australian meat;

we should rejoice that they do, though glad enough
to eat it ourselves: their contempt for it is a gratifying
proof of the general prosperity of this great country,
and the progressively increasing standard of comfort and
luxury amongst the industrious classes.

AMANTIUM IRA).

(on a late battle.)

See the Law Report “ Gilbert (Author of ‘ The Wicked
World ’) v. Enoch (Publisher of ‘ Pall Mall Ga-
zette’),” in the Common Pleas.

Pall Mall attacked The Wicked World,

The Wicked Warid arraigned Pall Mall,

And in the Court of Common Pleas
To legal loggerheads they fell.

Seeing how much this Wicked World
To Pall Mall’s rich purveying owes,

For newest mots and keenest squibs,

And all that in Club channels flows,

’Twixt two such natural allies
This sudden internecine jar,

How furious soe’er its wrath,

Must take the form of civil war.

So, Henry .Tames, with polished sword,

Stood champion of The Wicked World,

AYhile Karslaee’s spear as smooth as sharp
Home in Pall Mall’s defence was hurled.

With such a civil war, no doubt,

A civil end most fitly squared;

And so they that the Kriegspiel judged,

Drawn battle, not drawn blood, declared.

And thus on London’s listening ears
Serene the all-round judgment fell,

“ Innocent is the Wicked World,

Innocent, also, is Pall Mall! ”

This soothing syrup from the twelve
Belief on smarts and sores bestowed;

And to the Common Pleas, for once,

We that uncommon pleasure owed.

Then, though the j udgment give to him
Of damages not e’en a farden,

Let it vexed Gilbert satisfy,

While Enoch owns ’tis not an ’ard ’un;

And, led by James’s gentle hand,

And Ivaeslake, pattern of his sex,

To better understanding come,

And fall on one another’s necks!

Lie down, with journalistic lamb,

Dramatic lion, in comnmnion,—

Included, for all future time,

In a harmonious “ Gilbert Union.” *

* For an account of this effective, though rough and ready,
organisation, and its working, see the Poor-Law Reports.

A Good Test.

A recent visitor to Oxford, with statistical tastes,
desirous of ascertaining to what extent the three great
parties in the Church were respectively represented in
that University, drew his own conclusions, as he walked
through the streets, from the fact that, while he could
see “the High” and “the Broad,” he could nowhere
find “ the Low.”

Parochial Poem.

On the School Board, as for me,

Guv my vote for nobody.

Education’s name I hates.

Them three R.’s all means more Bates,
Which, as I objects to pay,

I should wish to do away.

Don’t for School Boards see no call;
Wouldn’t vote for none at all.