Punch (68.1875)

January 23, 1875.J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

39

NURSERY RHYMES FOR THE TIMES.

n.

0 rare Harry Parry,

If ever you marry,

Be sure you don’t marry a fool
Who’s eram-full of learning,
And constantly burning
To turn your home into a school.

HSsthetical notions
And psychic emotions
Are apt to be bores in a wife ;
Remember Minerva
Was left to preserve a
Sad celibate state all her life.

hi.

Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,

Seeking for reasons why
The circle and square
Are just what they are,

And can’t be aught else if they try.

When, after thinking
Days without winking,

He had not found the reasons why,
From his seat he arose
And cocked up his nose,

And said, “ What a wise boy am I! ”

IV.

Jack Sprat
Could eat no fat,

His wife could eat no lean ;
This way went Sprat,
His wife went that—
Both crooked ways, I ween.

To Church -Jack went,
As he was bent,

His wife she went to Mass ;
That they fell out,

Was just about
What soonest came to pass.

MATTER AND ACCIDENTS.

In one of the letters lately addressed by Monsignore Capel to the
Times, the subjoined definitions are quoted from a work whose
author was the late Dr. Neale, advanced Ritualist. The Monsignore
adopts them as a “clear exposition” of a dogma—with which
Mr. Punch has nothing to do. In themselves, however, they are
simply statements concerning science, a sub joe, -v iich is quite
within the province of Mr. Punch .—

“ All matter is divided into the accidents and the substance. Accidents of
matter are those which make a thing appear to be what it is. Substance is
that which makes a thing to be what it is. The accidents remain ; the sub-
stance is changed.”

Now Mr. Punch begs to submit the following questions to Mon-
signore Capel, or anybody else who thinks he can answer them.

If substance is that which makes matter to be what it is, then is
substance anything else than power ? And then is not the substance
of matter immaterial ?

Are accidents of matter absolutely and invariably those which
make a thing appear to be what it is ? Do not certain Doctors,
including Doctor Capel, on the contrary, most strenuously main-
tain that accidents may possibly, and occasionally do, make a thing
appear to be what it is not F

What are the substances, respectively, of a piece of bread and a
piece of beef ? Is there any such thing as a simple substance of

either F Are not the only known or conceivable substances of beef
and of bread certain substances supposed to be elementary, prin-
cipally carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, and nitrogen? What difference
is there between bread and beef other than that of the chemical and
mechanical arrangement and relative quantities of those substances
in the beef and in the bread ? If bread is converted into beef, as
through being eaten by an ox, what change from bread to beef
takes places besides the decomposition of the elementary substances
of bread and their recomposition in the form of beef ?

Is not the science which divides matter into substance and acci-
dents as above defined, science of the same character as that which
once divided it into four elements, earth, air, fire, and water ?
Lastly, as to the accidents of matter, has matter really any accidents
at all, except those which it is liable to meet with, such as the
breakage of cups and saucers, glasses, dishes, plates, windows,
heads, limbs, ribs, collar-bones, and all the other various casualties
too numerous to mention, which are wont to bef'al, annoy, exas-
perate, hurt, or damage, men, animals, and things.

Something Like a Work of Art.

Canova’s is a name famous in Fine Art, but of all Canovas’
works where is there one to be compared with the re-erection
now in progress under the auspices of that famous name at Madrid,
with the title of “ Government ousting Anarchy. ”