Punch (68.1875)

June 19, 1875.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

259

PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

anzibar's eye
is upon both
Lords and
Commons.

This by way
of warning.
After the race
for the Ascot
Cup, wbat
spectacle so
instructive to
His Majesty

Syed Barghash as a debate ? The fate of representative institutions in Zanzibar may hang on the
good behaviour of the British Legislator.

It is to be hoped the Lords began their week’s work under a due sense of the awful respon-
sibility hanging over their heads.

Monday, June 7 {Lords).—Two measures affecting “the Cloth” passed Third ^Reading—the
Church Patronage, and the Chimney Sweeps’, Bill. Lord Portman grumbles at the first, as a rude
interference with the vested rights of lay patrons. Probably some of the Conservative Master
Chimney Sweeps of Liverpool and other towns, where they prefer to “ stand on the ancient flues,”
and employ the climbing boy of our ancestors instead of the new-fangled machine of modern days,
will be Teady to fall foul of the Earl of Shaftesbury as savagely as my Lord Portman of my
Lord Bishop of Peterborough.

But, in spite of the pockets of Patrons and Master Sweeps, and the rights of Church property
and old flues, simony and suffocation are scandals, and must be diminished.

{Commons.) Whalley the Wonderful wants a House not only “ made ” but “ kept” for him
by the Government. Mr. Disraeli gently pointed out that as you may take an ass to the water,
but cannot make him drink; so the Whip may drive forty Members to Mr. Whalley, but no
conceivable number of whips could compel them to listen to him.

In Committee on Savings Banks Bill, Messrs. Childers, Goschen, and Gladstone in vain
exposed the Government “rig ” by which the loss on two accounts is hid under the gain of a third.
If “ rig” is not the word, will Sir Stafford Northcote teach Mr. Punch a better ? Till he does,
Mr. P. feels unable to apologise for his Cartoon, though it does depict Sir Stafford Northcote as
a pea-and-thimble man.

But though sound sense and clear logic could not change a majority into a minority, they suc-
ceeded in reducing it by two-thirds; and the Amendments of the Opposition were negatived by
but 38, instead of the normal 90 which represents Government vis inertice.

The Times recommends the Government to withdraw their Savings Banks Bill. As the Chan-
cellor of the Exchequer has given up the clause enabling the Savings Banks Commission to
invest in Local Securities, it seems very doubtful if there is anything worth saving left in this very
muddle-headed measure. There should be warning in the ominous fact that the high finance of
Hubbard and the mild wisdom of Walpole and Henley have alike revolted against this barefaced
Government attempt to shuffle the Pea of Deficit out of sight among the three Thimbles of old
Savings Banks, Friendly Societies, and Savings Bank Deposits.

Tuesday {Lords).—Several Bills advanced a stage. Offences against the Person Bill improved.
There was room for it. Let us hope that now that the Cat is to be made to claw the back of the
brute-biped, its movements may be as sharp, sure, and certain as well-drawn law can make them.

{Commons.)—Another Financial Debate on the best way of reducing the National Debt. A
good deal like the discussion in Great Expectations between Pip and his friend over the ‘ ‘ reduc-
tion of their liabilities.” Besides the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s Sinking Fund and

Mr. _ Gladstone’s Terminable An-
nuities, Mr. Hubbard now comes
forward with a third course, which
Sir Stafford Northcote declares
has all the defects of Terminable
Annuities with none of the advan-
tages of the Ministerial Sinking Fund.
Messrs. Childers and Lowe can’t
think how a Chancellor of the Ex-
chequer without a surplus can have
the impudence to propose paying
debts at all. No more can Mr. Glad-
stone—unless you can manage it in
his way—Terminable Annuities. On
a division, Mr. Gladstone was
beaten by 67—so much for the dif-
ference between fighting from the
back of a stout steed and a hobby.
U. propos of his gird at Mr. Dis-
raeli’s “ docile majority,” we were
not aware that Mr. Gladstone was
the man to like his majority—
when he had one—the better for
being mdocile.

In the evening a Count Out, and
no wonder, Whalley impending on
Contempt of Court.

TVednesday. — W halley threat-
ened to move on Friday morning that
there should be no counting-out on
Friday night till he had been heard.
He claims to be above the laws of
the House, as the German Emperor
claimed to be above the laws of
Grammar. Not so, my Whalley.
If there had been no such thing as a
Count Out before thou wert returned
for Peterborough, for thee it would
have had to be invented.

Mr. Newdegate wanted to know
who moved the Count Out —
“ chiefly ”—we presume, as Miranda
asked her question—that he might
“ set him in his prayers.”

Mr. Dixon moved the Second
Beading of his Bill for forcing all
the small children, especially the
tender bucolicals, into schools, willy
nilly. Messrs. Fawcett and Fors-
ter supported him. Viscount
Sandon, satisfied with the increase
of half a million school children in
four years, declined to put on a
stronger screw than is now in work.
He thinks we had better, for the
present, be content with bringing
the water of knowledge within
reach of our young asses, without
attempting to make them drink.
Perhaps he is right. Too many Mrs.
Markses might over-strain popular
patience—more sensible, at present,
of the pressure of rates and the
value of small children’s small
wages than of the worth of good
schooling. At any rate, so thought
the “docile majority,” who rejected
Mr. Dixon’s Bill by 255 to 164.

Thursday. — Mr. Disraeli in-
formed Mr. Whalley that the
Government was aware of the pre-
sence of Jesuits in England, and
that their presence is a misdemean-
our, but had no intention of pro-
ceeding against them.

A good deal of unbusiness-like
talk about public business. Ditto
discourse on Second Reading of the
Judicature Act Amendment Bill, on
which all the Lawyers in the House
—the only fellows who can be ex-
pected to understand it—seem at
loggerheads.

This paved the way for Mr.
Cross’s introduction of the Labour