DOI Heft:
February 13, 1875
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16940#0073
February 13, 1875.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
65
ALWAYS NAME YOUR BIRD.
(.Sportsman and Keepers leating the hill near Loch Fuslcie. Woodcock expected,)
First Keeper {to Second ditto, loudly). “Hullo! Mac! Ma-a-c ! ! ” Sportsman {excitedly). “Map.k? Mark what?”
Second Keeper. “ Mac-Farlane, Sir ! ”
THE ZOO AND THE MU.
{A Historical Parallel. Respectfully dedicated to the Trustees
of the British Museum.)
Would you know why the Monkeys died off at the Zoo,
Though Directors did all that Directors could do,
And called in physicians of eminence too ?
Come list, while Punch states the case briefly to you.
It could not be for want of enough of good food ;
They feasted on all that caged quadrumans should,
On apples and carrots, as much as they would,
Nuts, any giv’n quantities—more than was good.
They had plenty of room too for taking their flings,
And all sorts of perches, rope-ladders, and swings,
For Leotard feats and incredible springs,
In which legs, arms, and tails did the office of wings.
When the sunshine was warm and the weather was fair,
They ’d a large summer cage open free to the air,
Round which pretty nurse-maids loved well to repair,
With their juvenile charges, at Simice to stare.
When the cold weather came, they were shut up in glass,
Through which no breath of air was permitted to pass ;
And as Monkeys are creatures who make their own gas,
Ammoniacal compounds were sure to amass.
Soon, though Monkeys are cheerful, and all doleful dumps shun,
They were seen to turn mopish, their games, swings, and jumps
shun;
And, at last, proved their keepers’ entire want of gumption,
By dying, in batches, of rapid consumption.
Yes—in batches the Monkeys dropped off at the Zoo,
Sorely puzzling the keepers, and scientists too ;
Till Mitchell grew mournful, and Bartlett looked blue,
And Wohbwell, when asked, replied “ Blest if he knew.”
Doctor Arnott consulted, thought ere he replied,
Came, saw, sniffed the cages, their atmosphere tried,
Weighed the evidence well, pros and cons on each side,
Then pronounced ’twas for want of fresh air the brutes died!
Of Arvott’s opinion with nail and with tooth
Some Directors fell foul—said that, even if sooth,
A physician was bound to have wrapped up the truth
In terms scientific, abstruse, and uncouth.
But the less scientific Directors replied,
Facts were facts: Monkeys payed them that lived, not that died.
So they carried a vote that fresh air be supplied,
Through netted wire openings—so high and so wide.
Soon the hlue-nosed baboons ceased to look extra blue,
The Howlers set up their old hullabaloo—
Macaques, Lemurs, Loris, sprang, climbed, swung, and flew,
And the quadrumans no more died off at the Zoo !
P’raps if the Trustees to this case would attend,
And take measures the air their clerks breathe to amend—
As men’s healths on the same laws as monkeys’ depend—
The same means at the Mu would produce the same end!
Anticipation.
The Spanish residents at Berlin are delighted at the prospect of
gay doings at their Embassy, Senor Merry having been appointed
Minister for Spain at the German Court Let us hope it may not be
a case of “ a short life and a merry one.”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
65
ALWAYS NAME YOUR BIRD.
(.Sportsman and Keepers leating the hill near Loch Fuslcie. Woodcock expected,)
First Keeper {to Second ditto, loudly). “Hullo! Mac! Ma-a-c ! ! ” Sportsman {excitedly). “Map.k? Mark what?”
Second Keeper. “ Mac-Farlane, Sir ! ”
THE ZOO AND THE MU.
{A Historical Parallel. Respectfully dedicated to the Trustees
of the British Museum.)
Would you know why the Monkeys died off at the Zoo,
Though Directors did all that Directors could do,
And called in physicians of eminence too ?
Come list, while Punch states the case briefly to you.
It could not be for want of enough of good food ;
They feasted on all that caged quadrumans should,
On apples and carrots, as much as they would,
Nuts, any giv’n quantities—more than was good.
They had plenty of room too for taking their flings,
And all sorts of perches, rope-ladders, and swings,
For Leotard feats and incredible springs,
In which legs, arms, and tails did the office of wings.
When the sunshine was warm and the weather was fair,
They ’d a large summer cage open free to the air,
Round which pretty nurse-maids loved well to repair,
With their juvenile charges, at Simice to stare.
When the cold weather came, they were shut up in glass,
Through which no breath of air was permitted to pass ;
And as Monkeys are creatures who make their own gas,
Ammoniacal compounds were sure to amass.
Soon, though Monkeys are cheerful, and all doleful dumps shun,
They were seen to turn mopish, their games, swings, and jumps
shun;
And, at last, proved their keepers’ entire want of gumption,
By dying, in batches, of rapid consumption.
Yes—in batches the Monkeys dropped off at the Zoo,
Sorely puzzling the keepers, and scientists too ;
Till Mitchell grew mournful, and Bartlett looked blue,
And Wohbwell, when asked, replied “ Blest if he knew.”
Doctor Arnott consulted, thought ere he replied,
Came, saw, sniffed the cages, their atmosphere tried,
Weighed the evidence well, pros and cons on each side,
Then pronounced ’twas for want of fresh air the brutes died!
Of Arvott’s opinion with nail and with tooth
Some Directors fell foul—said that, even if sooth,
A physician was bound to have wrapped up the truth
In terms scientific, abstruse, and uncouth.
But the less scientific Directors replied,
Facts were facts: Monkeys payed them that lived, not that died.
So they carried a vote that fresh air be supplied,
Through netted wire openings—so high and so wide.
Soon the hlue-nosed baboons ceased to look extra blue,
The Howlers set up their old hullabaloo—
Macaques, Lemurs, Loris, sprang, climbed, swung, and flew,
And the quadrumans no more died off at the Zoo !
P’raps if the Trustees to this case would attend,
And take measures the air their clerks breathe to amend—
As men’s healths on the same laws as monkeys’ depend—
The same means at the Mu would produce the same end!
Anticipation.
The Spanish residents at Berlin are delighted at the prospect of
gay doings at their Embassy, Senor Merry having been appointed
Minister for Spain at the German Court Let us hope it may not be
a case of “ a short life and a merry one.”