Punch (68.1875)

May 1, 1875.]

PUNCH, OR, THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

183

ARE YOU A MASON ? ”

ANY persons may
attempt to imagine,
but few, we believe,
are correctly in-
formed of the extra-
ordinary precautions
that will be taken to
prevent the intrusion
of any unauthorised
person into the Albert
Hall on the day of
the Installation of
His Royal Highness
the Grand Master.
Each Mason, as he
arrives, after being
blindfolded and shod
with carpet slippers,
will be required to
produce his certifi-
cate of baptism,
calling card, photo-
graph, and handker-
chief marked with
his name in full,
together with a
specimen of his ordi-
nary handwriting
and signature,—all
countersigned by his
Lodge, and duly attested by
two Justices of the Peace for
the town or county in which
he habitually resides. He will
then he adjured to bare his
right arm, to prove that it is
branded with the letters which
denote his rank in the Craft;
and having passed this ordeal,
and shown that his name is
written inside his hat, his
claim to be present at the
ceremony will be put to no
further test.

Any attempt at imposture
will be instantly punished by
the removal of the offender
from the inside of the Hall to
the outside of the roof, where
he will be left with a bottle of
Apollinaris Water and all the best works on Masonry, but
without food, firing, or the means of smoking, until the
conclusion of the ceremony. Should he prove refractory,
Caedinal Manning will be sent for. When the Installa-
tion is over, the erring man will be tried and sentenced by a
tribunal composed exclusively of G.A.’s (Grand Aprons) and
P.G.A.’s (Past Grand Aprons), but their finding will not be
made known until the National Gallery has been rebuilt.

When all the brethren are assembled, the doors will be
locked, barred, bolted, and hermetically sealed, the keyholes
carefully plugged, and two Master Masons posted as warders
at each entrance, armed with drawn swords and loaded
revolvers, and carrying fog-signals in their pockets, to be
exploded in the event of any attempt being made to inter-
rupt the proceedings in the arena.

Previous to the Installation, a party of the brethren,
carrying safety lanterns and alarums, will thoroughly search
every nook and corner of the Hall, including the cellars, the
velarium, the ventilators, the roof, and the pipes and
bellows of the great organ ; and will look under the seat of
each chair and behind the curtains of all the private boxes,
to satisfy themselves that no person is in the building
except those who have a right to be present.

Strange rumours are current as to the enormous sums which
Ladies have expressed their willingness to bestow on Masonic
charities, if they might only be permitted to view the pro-
ceedings from an aperture in the roof of the Hall. For further information respecting Freemasonry, its signs and secrets, its insignia
and rites, and its excellent dinners, consult the works of San chon iathon (the cheap edition), Tbismegistus Thaumaturges (the reprint
in a popular form), Rhadamanthus, Hebmesianax, or Pythagobas, and go early to the British Museum, as these authors are, at this
momentous crisis in the history of the Craft, in great request.

Un Succ'es de Steam-(Engine) .—Sir Roger de Coverley.

Fenealy’s “ Duedeop.”—Below notice.