Punch (68.1875)

May 15, 1875.1

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

203

PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.


ure as “listeners seldom hear good of themselves,” “meddlers
rarely mend matters.” Lord Russell [Lords, Monday, May 3)
ought to have had that truth well drummed into him by his old
experience of muddles due to meddling. His Lordship, "however,
not satisfied with his share of meddles and muddles, like Oliver
Twist is asking for more, in the shape of “ papers calculated to
throw light on the recent relations of the German and Belgian
Governments,” Lobd Derby thinks such publication would he
more conducive to heat than light, and prefers to wait till the
Belgian Chambers have discussed the papers in question. Rus-
sells will rush, where Derbys fear to tread. Between Bismarck
and Belgium it is a very pretty quarrel as it stands, and the inter-
ference of England might, in Lokd Dekby’s opinion, make it an
ugly one. While man and wife are fighting, or—the diplomatic
equivalent for that domestic situation—while Foreign Ministers
exchanging “friendly” notes, it is time enough to intervene
when you can’t help it.

{Commons.)—The Chancellor op the Ex-
chequer, in answer to Sir Charles Russell,
said, he had heard “ it was easier to get florins
than shillings.” Will Sir Stapeord he good
enough to tell Mr. Punch (in strict confi-
dence) where ?

The Chancellor op the Exchequer de-
clares that £42,000 worth of shillings is lying
at the Bank, and as much more at the Mint,
ready to he squeezed into circulation by
“proper pressure.” Unfortunately, in Mr.
Punch's experience, shillings want a very
great deal of pressing.

Mr. W. Hunt informed Sir G. Jenkinson
that examinations for Naval Cadetships were
no longer competitive. That is, at least, one
department rescued from the Heathen Chinee.

Mr. Punch is glad to hear from Lord H.
Lennox—that active and intelligent sedile—
whose “answering” in the House Mr. Punch
is bound to report as “most creditable”—that Queen Anne’s statue in Her Majesty’s Square (behind the Westminster hack-
slums), is as well as can he expected under the “cock-shying” circumstances of the neighbourhood. The Westminster roughlings
have only knocked off two of Her Majesty’s fingers, and a hit of her sceptre. What Queen in that region could expect to fare better ?
Lord Henry has assigned a policeman for the special protection of Her Majesty during the hours the young Westminster ideas are
learning to shoot, out of school. That Policeman will, at least, have the proud privilege of feeling himself more useful than the sentries
at Buckingham Palace.

Peace Preservation again. The usual talk, tall and small; the usual dividing, and the usual little or no progress to report. Once,
thanks to a “ happy thought ” and snap division.of Captain Nolan’s (on Amendment to insert 1877, as the limit of the Act’s continuance)
the Government only escaped defeat by two !

The debate included a long incidental chat about Freemasonry, in compliment, we presume, to the Prince oe Wales.

The Irish Members kept the House at it till one, when it broke up with the pleasant prospect of meeting again for Peace Preserva
tion at two to-morrow. Preserving your peace is one thing ; holding it is another.

Tuesday {Lords).—Lord Selborne brought in two Bills, one for better Regulating the Inns of Court, the other for establishing a
School of Law, “where all might receive instruction.” While Benchers and Barristers are satisfied with the existing government
of the Inns of Court, those Inns are not very likely to see a change of hosts or bills, rooms or perquisites, larders or cellars. As for a
“Law School for all,” Punch hardly knows whether to shake in his shoes or to sing for joy at the prospect of such a happy family of
kites, crows, and pigeons. Think of Solicitors, Barristers, and Clients in the bud all sucking-in that perfection of reason called
Law, on the same benches and from the same fountain-heads! Who can say what developments might follow ? Perhaps kites, pigeon-
livered and lacking gall—like Hamlet—or pigeons with kites’ claws and beaks ! But this is likely to remain matter of speculation, for
all the prospect Lord Selborne’s Bill has of becoming law.

{Commons.)—At two, Peace-Preservation again. The last Clause left was fought over tooth and nail, and the Committee was
adjourned, clausu infecto.

At the evening sitting, after Mr. Boukke had dealt with Mr. O’Clery—who so cleared the House as just to escape a count
on his Motion to recognise the belligerent rights of the Carlists—Lord Hartington brought on his plan for exempting reports from
liability at Law, and giving a majority, instead of a Member, of the House power to put out the light of the Press in Parliament.

Mr. Mitchell-Henry objected, complaining of abbreviated reports, and proposing a Select Committee to consider of a scheme of
official reporting, to which he thought some of the papers would subscribe. Mr. Punch, for one paper, declines to subscribe to any
plan that will make reports longer than they are. To adopt Mr. Disraeli’s “happy thought,” he objects to the gallery being
turned into a “ Speech Preservation Society.” He prays, rather, for some more of what Sydney Smith called “ brilliant flashes of
silence,” in the interests of outsiders, no less than of those in the gallery and under it. And as for finding fault with “ summaries,”
why, Mr. Henry’s objections would apply even to Mr. Punch's Essence—that Liebig’s Extract of Collective Wisdom. No ; if we
must have a Select Committee on the matter, let it be to consider how reporting may be made shorter instead of longer—more
quintessential instead of more in extenso—more literatim, in the literary, not literal, sense, than verbatim, in the wordy or Irish
acceptation.

Mr. Newdegate agreed, for once, with Mr. Henry. He speaks slow enough to be reported verbatim et literatim. Perhaps, if he
saw a report of one of his own speeches on this gigantic plan, he might change his mind.

Mr. Disraeli couldn’t see his way to support Lord Hartington,—couldn’t see his way to anything, in fact. In short, he agreed
with the Laureate’s Lotos-Eaters •—

“ Let us alone. Time driveth onward fast,

And in a little while our lips are dumb.

Let us alone. What is it that will last? ”

Why all this bother and fuss about Reporting and Reporters, and so old a Standing Order ? The wisdom of our ancestors had agreed
that on one man’s Motion strangers must withdraw. To substitute the House’s Motion for one man’s is not standing on old ways.