Punch (68.1875)

25«

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 12, 1875.

THE SERVANTS.

Housemaid {just engaged). “I should like to be shown my Eoom, M’am ! ”

Lady of the House (startled). “ 0, if you like. You’ll find it a comfortable-”

Housemaid. “ I should like to know if it’s large enough for my Piano, M’am!”

THINGS AN EARL WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.

Earl Russell, having failed to obtain any information relative
to the confidential communications which are said to have passed
between the Earl of Derry and Prince von Bismarck, will
shortly ask the following questions in the House of Lords :—

Whether it is true that Marshal Macmahon has informed Lord
Lyons what he (the President of the French Republic) proposes
doing during the remaining period of the Septennate; and if he has,
whether the British Foreign Office has any objection to making the
Marshal’s plans public to the whole world ?

Whether it is true that the Czar of Russia has privately in-
formed Her Royal and Imperial Highness the Duchess of Edin-
burgh what course he means to take in the event of the English
opposition to the St. Petersburg Conference continuing ; and
whether such information can he obtained through His Royal High-
ness the Duke of Edinburgh, to be printed and laid upon the
tables of both Houses of Parliament for the information of Noble
Lords and Honourable Members ?

Whether it is true that King Alfonso has confidentially in-
formed an anonymous Spanish Bondholder of his immediate inten-
tion to leave Madrid incognito for Margate, and whether the address
of the Lodging-house Keeper about to be patronised by His Majesty
can he obtained and be made public ?

Whether it is true that the Emperor of Austria (at the end of
a rather heavy banquet) confidentially informed the British Ambas-
sador at Vienna, that he. (the Emperor-King) could really no longer
tolerate the combined insolence of Germany, Italy, Turkey, and
Russia; and whether His Majesty made use of the following
remarkable words on the same festive occasion—“ I tell you what
it is, Sir. For a couple of florins I would declare war against the
whole lot of them. {Ich wiirde Sie alle zusammen fechten.) That
I would, Sir—I would do it to-morrow morning,”—and much more
to the same effect ?

Whether it is true that the Crown Prince of Prussia has written
a long and lively letter to H.R.H. the Duke of Cambridge, asking

the Field-Marshal Commanding-in-Chief to come over to Berlin
with the whole of the British Army, at five minutes’ notice, offer-
ing, in the event of the invitation being accepted, to “put up”
both officers and men, unter den Linden ; and whether the Duke of
Cambridge believes that his Royal and Imperial German connection
intends the letter in question to be taken seriously, or to be. con-
sidered only as what is commonly known as “ chaff,”—meaning a
playful joke?

A KNIGHTLEY VIEW OF REPORTING.

Yes, you are right, Sir Rainald Knightley,

If the Knights of the Press report you rightly,—

That noble army of short-handed martyrs,—

Who ’ve to mend the botching of Commons’ ‘ ‘ sartors.

The talk wherewith maund’ring Members illumine us,
The Times compresses from vo- to luminous :

Will ever these maundering Members have nous
To compress for themselves, ere they come to the House r

Hunch would gladly take steps, those bores to balk
Who abuse Parliamentary privilege of talk ;

And with nightly inflictions, the wish make fair
Of gallery-slaves to be elsewhere.

Then sensible folk wouldn’t suffer from vapours,

Heavy e’en when severely condensed in the papers,

But would wait a week, in patient quiescence,

For Parliament’s pith in Punch's Essence.

Probable Consequence.

That our seamen have small chance of nailing
Our flag to the Pole, we assert—

Those on the Discovery sailing
Being none of them on the Alert.