Punch (68.1875)

44

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 30, 1875.

NURSERY RHYMES FOR THE TIMES.

ING, sing, what shall I sing?

Of Lawyers’ wigs and
gowns,

Of costs, costs, and still
more costs,

And shillings charged
as crowns!

Sing, sing, what shall I
sing ?—

Of one sane bird who
saw

That, play, play how you
may, _

To win is to lose, at Law.

II.

Boys and girls, come out to play,
Kriegspiel is the game to-day!—

Bring your boohs {.nd bring your brains,
Boys and girls, and plan campaigns.

hi.

Robin-a-Bobbin was scarcely ten,

But knew enough for a score of men;

His sole delight was going to school,—

Yet was Robin-a-Bobbin next door to a fool.

OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID !

(Dialogue betioeen two IE piece pal Labourers in the Vineyard.)

First Labourer. I don’t know how it may be with you, brother,
I know I am worked to death. Revision meeting this morning ;
Rubrics’ Committee this afternoon; Total Abstinence platform
on Tuesday; chair of the Borriobooloogha Shirt-extension and
Introduction of Pocket-handkerchiefs Association Dinner on Wed-
nesday ; the dear Duchess of Omnium’s morning-party on Thurs-
day ; and on Friday a rush into my diocese for two confirmations
in the course of the day, and to get to Lord Reredos’s, half a
county’s breadth from the second, in time for five o’clock tea!
Killing work, brother. They’ll miss us, perhaps, when they’ve
used us up in this frightfully improvident and unfeeling fashion!

Second Labourer {sighing). Let us hope we may have some leisure
after Government has increased our numbers !

First Labourer. Let us hope so (facetiously). If the Government
improve our position, the Liberationists will say we owe it all to the
Labourers’ Union.

Second Labourer {in the same tone). We’re like them in one
respect, at least. We also have an Arch at our head.

First Labourer {following up the joke). Two--Canterbury and
York! Ha! Ha! But I mustn’t keep the Revision Committee
waiting. Good morning ! my dear Lord !

Second Labourer. Good morning, my very dear Lord.

[Exeunt severally.

45 Here Feel we but tbe Penalty of Adam.’’

As You Like it.

Mr. Adam, the Liberal Whip, has been called on to call a meet-
ing for the choice of a Liberal Leader. Strictly correct and ap-
propriate. Adam, ought to have a great deal to do with naming the
first man—of Her Majesty’s Opposition.

A CALL TO CLERICALS.

“If the Clergy could establish, effectually a ‘sort of general pastoral
relation ’ with the men and women of their parishes—with the fathers and
mothers—they might safely leave the children to take care of themselves.”
Times.

Perchance ’tis too much to expect the young elves
We call children to take perfect care of themselves :

But all will agree that our hard-working Clerici,

If they quite forgot questions of Ritual and Heresy,

By stooping to conquer, might leave in the lurch
The zealots who’d fain disestablish the Church.

What use are their diatribes brilliant and hitter ?

What use is their ecclesiastical glitter ?

If the sermon that scathes, and the costume that pleases,

Too often unite with behaviour that freezes : _

The Parson or Layman whose life’s Christianity
A short cut has found to the heart of humanity.

Of a parish the Church is the natural centre :

But if there are some who that building won’t enter,

’Tis easy enough, if you ’ll just condescend

To be human, to show them the Parson’s their friend.

He stands above wealth, nor need stoop to the door
Of toilers like him, and oft hardly more poor.

In Lay, high or low, let the Parsons own equals,

And the Church need not fear any sinister sequels.

Let the School-Boards administer discipline birchen
To the well-chosen part of the rustical urchin,

While the Rector or Yicar becomes—what’s now r&rish
The very best friend of all ranks in his parish.

Nejv Version oe an old Proverb {vide Rubery v. Sampson)
—Tell truth, and—pay the damages !