Punch (68.1875)

140

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Mabch 27, 1875

It

HOW THE LUGGAGE IS LOST.

Lady’s-Maid. “Thomas, why don’t yott See the Boxes put in the Van? They may be Lost!”

Thomas. “ I’m not going to Trouble myself with all that there Luggage. It’s the Porter’s Business. He’s paid for it !”

THE W0ICE OF THE KENSINGTON WESTRYMAN.

Who cares about the NoospapersF Not me, I must confess.

One Wolunteer like me is worth a score of that there Press.

We are independent Britons. We sits at home in ease,

Smokes our pipes, and reads our Englishman, and does just as we
please.

The people down at Kensington’s complainin’ of their dust,
Whereat we Independents laughs, until we ’re like to bust.

Let ’em write indignant letters ; let ’em peg up their big D’s—
What’s the use of bein’ a Westry but to do just as you please ?

Western Bohemia too, we hears, is full o’ quips and quirks,

Wantin’ to turn a Board of Words into a Board of Works.

And who’s to put the screw on us F Perlicemen, if you please.
Perlicemen fraternise with us, and does just as they please.

We are independent paviors. It may lead to broken bones ;

But on foot-ways we digs pitfalls, and in roads piles pavin’-stones.
They may tumble, if they like, and break their sanguinary knees—
What’s the odds to us, perwided that we do just as we please ?

There’s a chap in West Bohemia do wax uncommon wrath,

As has caught a young octopus a-swimmin’ in his hath.

He wants his cistern covered. Of course he never sees

The claims of young octopuses to swim just where they please.

We’re for the Rights of Subjects—octopuses or men :

If it interferes with “ Order ” or with “ Proputty,” what then F
Our motto’s “ Strike,” not “ Hear”—a creed we learnt at Brad-
laugh’s knees.

We are all High-conoelasteses, and do just as we please.

Then hooray for the West End Commoon, which such liberty affords
As.soots Litter-ary Dustmen, Westry Clerks, and District Boards!
It it wasn’t for the “ static ” force in such consarns as these,

We should all be made “ dynamic,” and not do just as we please.

HOME-RULE AT LARGE.

Home-Rulers shall not he called disreputable, any of them.. It
is more than a breach of privilege to defame some of them so—it is
a gross misnomer. Witness the Pall Mall Gazette, thus : —

“The Home-Rulers of the House of Commons held a meeting on Monday
at their rooms in King Street, Westminster, when it was agreed to offer a
strenuous opposition to all the future stages of the Peace Preservation (Ire-
land) Bill.’'

No peace for the Irish or British either! No preservation of
Peace for Ireland, and of the Empire’s integrity too! Resolution
distinctly characteristic, and decidedly reputable. 0 sweet Home-
Rule !

On the abovementioned occasion the Home-Rulers organised,
themselves into a “Party,” with a “Leader” and a couple of
“ Whips.” As, though highly reputable, the Party is not numerous,
would not one whip suffice them—if it were well wielded F

Cardinal Points to be Observed on my Return to England.

(From the Note-hook of C-rd-n-l M-nn-ng.)

Not to wear my red hat in wet weather.

Nor when Pius P. sends over a new Bull.

To give up wearing paper collars.

To send back to Whalley the cotton umbrella I borrowed from
him.

To invite Messrs. Moody and Sankey to supper.

To write to Mr. Spurgeon as to precedence.

To ask Madame Tussaud not to put me next to Kenealy.

SONG FOR THE SOUTH WALES STRIKERS.

“ Come let’s set the Kettle on.” Would they could, poor

fellows,—either Rupert Kettle, for arbitration, or the tea-kettle,
for comfort!